DON'T REACT

Anastasia was a girl who has friends, but never a best friend.

From her childhood until class ten, she never had someone who choose her first. She was always part of a trio, always the third person. No matter how hard she tried to be good friend, someone reliable, someone who stayed… no one ever choose her.

She was not lucky with her parents either.

Her mother always criticized her no matter what she did.

“It is for you own good” her mother would say.

“No parents want’s bad for their children.”

“I only say this because I care about you.”

But what about her feelings?

Whenever she saw other parents supporting their children instead of criticizing them, something inside her felt heavy.

Her mother’s word always felt like a burden.

Not just the taunts.

There were days when she wished everything in the world would just disappear.

Or that she would.

And once a while, a darker thought crossed her mind.

The thought of ending everything once and for all.

Anastasia lived in bungalow type house that looked like a haunted house from outside, but inside it was actually quite nice.

Her family had move to New York before 4 years ago because of her father work. They did not have much time, so they rented this one quickly and eventually had stayed there only.

Even though, it was not that bad.

From the outside, it looked almost perfect.

A small Garden in front of the house.

But inside, things were different.

Her mother believed strictness built strong children.

She compared Anastasia to other girls almost every single day. Studies, looks, behaviour, the way she talked, the way she sat, everything was compared to someone else.

But she never complimented her own daughter.

Never encouraged her.

Instead, there were taunts.

Sometimes shouting.

Sometimes beating.

Sometimes curses.

Anastasia didn’t always stay silent.

She talked back.

There were moments when words slipped out that she hadn’t even planned to say.

And then her mother would start acting like the victim, telling her she had hurt her intentionally.

But what about the things she was doing herself?

Destroying her daughter’s confidence.

Making her feel like she was never enough.

Manipulating her into believing everything was her fault.

After watching the arguments between her mother and brother, Anastasia learned something early.

It was easier not to react.

So, she made a few rules for herself.

Stay calm.

Don’t explain.

Don’t argue.

Don’t react.

She saw how every argument ended the same way. Her mother would later tell her father the story, exaggerating everything.

So, Anastasia stopped trying.

That habit followed her everywhere.

Even to the new tuition class she joined in class 9.