What is your opinion?
Ancient Mysticism Dreamed On Distant Worlds
"This is a beautiful and powerful epic science fiction tale, one that mixes in a fair dose of old world mysticism and lore in its futuristic setting. The Prologue, in particular, strikes a bardic note, and cleverly mixes in slight archaisms to make it sound like the distant future and an ancient past (somewhat like Star Wars' "Long ago in a galaxy far, far away." However, far from being a typically overbearing Prologue, it introduces a nice conceit (turning on a televisor to show us the story), which launches into an entirely new mode of storytelling. Here we get something more like Herbert's Dune, another work mixing the past and the future, old religions and new ideas. The writing is especially interesting throughout, written with a fair bit of poetry, with some passages even becoming mini prose poems. Yet the story keeps moving along, and without betraying any of its secrets, I can only assure you that it unfolds in a very surprising yet believable manner that will have you racing through the pages. This is very promising writing, and my only criticism is that a few passages tend to be a bit long, and perhaps the authors' enthusiasm gets away from him once in a while. A little editing and cutting could make the writing and the flow a bit tighter, but even so, this is fine work and a wonderful first piece to publish on Inkitt. Looking forward to more and encourage others to read and share his work!"
My review of The Kingdom Of The Three Suns
"The Kingdom Of The Three Suns is a story that leaves the reader wanting for more of the parallel universe the author has created. The story kicks off with an old sage caught between adapting to evolutionary progressivism and sticking determinedly to conservative foundations. The opening prologue refers to a Blue Dot (meant as a metaphor for Planet Earth?) and notes that Pluto shares its same ancestors, which brings the reader to think of when this time and place actually is. The story then delves into its colorful characters, with advisers to Harawn the Harsh seeming to serpent-like in advancing their self-interests, and the character Hayoob not being part of the establishment order. Towards the exodus, the main themes we see here are actions and decisions, a quintessential fight-or-flight moment. The journey to Sol is one of excitement and anticipation, and the epilogue presents the dawn of civilization, and explains how we got here. The 'we', however, is open to the reader's imagination; and herein lies the beauty of the author's writing. So much of it is communicated through the writer's voice, but it is also simultaneously open to the reader's imagination, rather than mere interpretation. Those are some of my thoughts on The Kingdom Of The Three Suns. I strongly encourage you to take the time in reading it and providing your own reviews."
Review
"Since the story is a narration by an old man to a younger generation, the author's narrative voice has been predefined. Till the end, the story holds true to the theme, one of dissatisfaction with a bland scientific perspective. There were some inconsistencies with the voice used, however. It is very imperious in describing the characters, and the essential aspects of the world they inhabit, but such a tone should only focus on the essentials and the moving aspects of the plot to feel consistent. The interludes where the world itself is being described greatly detracts from the impact. It feels like the old man is zoning out mid delivery. As for the story itself, the divisive elements that form the antagonists are too vague and I felt like they were mostly interchangeable. Your formatting and paragraph division need a little work. Overall, I'd like to see another version of this story, one with the plot presented without extraneous details, but as an experiment I would say that you have more than succeeded."
Good effort
"Obviously, the author worked hard on this story, and also wanted to create a specific atmosphere. In that, he succeeds -- the story is very atmospheric. It's so atmospheric, in fact, that the plot gets a little lost in all the description. Now this is coming from someone who never could get into Tolkien's work, no matter how hard she tried, so this may just be my personal preferences coming through. In any event, as another reviewer noted, some good editing would probably solve most of the issues. Having said all that, the story does address some interesting issues, and I'd like to know more about how the people on the "blue dot" react to Pluto being inhabited. I sort of felt like I was dropped into the middle of the story though, without much of a frame of reference, but again, a little judicious editing and re-writing could solve that issue. The story is certainly worth reading and I salute the author's hard work and effort to build a story and a world. Good effort."
A bad idea which was well executed
"Is this the first story you have written? Because if it is, you should not have started out with a sci-fi. You need way more than 7 chapters to properly develop a sci fi world. I didn't care what happened to any of the characters nor understood what was happening to them(it might be because im an idiot). You have a very large and excellent vocabulary but that sometimes got in the way of what you were trying to say. The idea of the story if I'm honest was a bit strange and far fetched for a sci-fi but you made a bad idea very decent. You need to focus more on getting your idea across and not trying to use your extensive vocabulary. In the future, I think you would be a great writer of longer stories because as I said before there were too many ideas here and they were not properly developed. Focus on a few characters and a few ideas if you are only writing a story with 7 chapters. All in all, it was very well written and at some points( like the prologue) was a very interesting idea. Also in the future pls avoid having 3 sons."
