Introduction
Recently, I participated in a very interesting event: the Sonoran Toad Ceremony with the help of my Sonoran Toad Shaman, Tim, in Valle de Bravo, Mexico. The Sonoran Toad is better known as the Colorado River Toad in the USA. If we search Wikipedia, we find out that: “The Colorado River toad (Incilius alvarius), also known as the Sonoran Desert toad, is a psychoactive toad found in northern Mexico and the southwestern United States. Its toxin, as an exudate of glands within the skin, contains 5-MeO-DMT and bufotenin.”
The ritual was particularly life changing. This substance the strongest psychedelic substance I have ever ingested in any form. It inspired me to start fresh my life including, it appears, starting fresh my writing projects. I have a tendency not to finish my personal writing projects. I like to expand eternally on my ideas, making my worlds, such as Nagaloka, Om’Haha and others larger and larger but with no real resolution.
It all begins with Dungeons and Dragons…
No… actually, it all begins with a writing exercise. I dictated my grandmother a story. I was only five years old. It was a story about a guy who was the representative of all good, and a guy who was the representative of all evil. And then, how these two persons fought each other, and the results of that battle.
Dungeons and Dragons was the confirmation for me of this profound childhood meditation about good and evil. This meditation is still very much a part of my life, and now most especially after participating in a Sonoran Toad Ceremony.
All these unfinished, and half-finished worlds are floating around in my head since childhood. Their characters meld endlessly into real-life persons whom I live with. They meld into emotions, thoughts, meditations and realities which I find myself in need to transcend after this marvelous Sonoran Toad Ceremony.
I am wanting to dedicate my mind, spirit and time to the profound work of watching the grass grow and celebrating the Colorado River Toad. But like Lovecraft, my personal pantheon demands attention. It keeps opening portals into dimensions dark and perilous. I need to start managing better these portals, allowing for the imagination of my readers do the work. This work, which was originally profit motivated, now becomes deeper. My realms actually open themselves in the very real life, beyond words, beyond stories.
Robin Kaczmarczyk.
