What is your opinion?
Promising
"So far it is really good. It took me some time to catch up with it but it really got it. It's really promising and is fun to read. The title got my attention but it too me dome time to understand the blurb. I would day keep it up It's going on really nicely and is really smoothly plotted. Hope you keep on giving on more awesome chapters. "
Very good
"All I can say is great job and keep up the good work!"
Allegory
"Title: Allegory The title of this story has me intrigued as to what does this story contain. The design of the cover is quite simple and vivid. The excerpt adds a lovely touch to it and captures the reader’s attention. I do think that there can be an improvement in the cover design. The way I look at a reader’s approach a book ranges in stages. Stage one is the book situated on a bookshelf or on a website. The reader is passing by/scrolling along and what does he/she notice first? The book cover. This, of course, contains the title and in some cases, excerpt. These things add to the luring of the audience. As a writer, I do understand that there is a certain look you want for the book and choose to showcase that design. Stage two is when the reader investigates by reading the blurb/synopsis and any other information provided on the cover [front and back] of the book. Blurb This is basically the synopsis of the book. At first, it took me a while to fully grasp what and how the plot was flowing. There is a lot of information based on the current situation in the book. You can reduce the amount of information and add in the plot twist or subtle hints to attract the reader. Grasp their attention and make them flip the page to read further. However, I like the way the plot flows and I’m looking forward to reading more to see where this story goes. Chapters The first thing I noticed and loved was the description of the atmosphere and scene. The main character introducing himself and explaining his present problem. The prologue was short and nice, I enjoyed reading and knowing this about the main character before jumping into the other chapters. The description is constant in the chapters which are essential for the reader’s imagination and specifically required for the genre of book. There were no noticeable spelling nor vocabulary errors. Chapter length is good and quite enjoyable to read. There is a smooth flow to the story. I must say, the very start of the book jumps into action. As a reader, I am engaged and constantly thinking of what is going to happen next to how the character is going to react. Overall, I will recommend this book and has been a nice read. It was a delight in reviewing this book!"
Fastinating Story
"This is a fascinating story, and I'm sorry there aren't more chapters ready. Thank-you for telling me that my critiques were helpful to you. I hope I was able to give some helpful suggestions too."
Interesting
"I don't usually read books like this, but I have to say I enjoyed it! It was interesting and kept me intrigued through every chapter, although I had to focus hard here and there to understand what was happening. Some more detail might be needed at times to clarify a few things, but other than that great work to the author. I big thumbs up from me."
A master of images
"I love your use of figurative language! You set the scene really well, WOW!"
Allegory
"The premise is interesting so far and so is the world building and characters, though, I also felt that the story's moving a bit too fast and we're not given a chance to take a break. I always do think it's better to have a fast-paced story than one that drags, but but it is good to be mindful of the pacing. Overall it's a good start, I like how this world is set up and it makes me curious to learn more about it."
Great start
"Hi, I'm so sorry for the delay in writing this review! I'm in the middle of moving, so having time to sit down and read had been scarce. This is still an unfinished book, so it's hard for me to give a judgment so solidly when I know it's not even close to completion. That being said, I want to praise you for your descriptions as well as your action sentences. They're well written, and you paint the characters and the world well. However, I do also want to reiterate what others have said in your review: you can slow down the beginning. The plot seems to zoom past me, and often times I would have to go back and reread to make sure I hadn't missed anything that happened in between. I can tell you're very eager for your story and want to get to the better parts, but don't forget that setup is just as important."
Potential
"As stated by the other reviewers, this story has a lot of potential. There's conflict, there's a clear motivation and mission for the main character, and there's a new world to explore. The amount of characters made the start of the story a bit confusing for me. Also, I'm not sure why the first person POV prologue is needed or why the POV had to shift to third person. Personally, I think it would make more sense if the writer stuck with one POV throughout. Also, sometimes the writer uses too many words to describe things. It clogs up the sentences, makes them too long and confusing. But it's nothing some serious editing can't fix. :)"
Good so far!
"So far I am liking the story! There are only a few chapters uploaded but the storyline seems to be going in a good direction. I think you’ve worked well to create the world your story is set in however with everything that is happening, I think the main character would be a little more careful about the info he tells to others about himself. I think the story has a lot of potential and I look forward to reading more!"
A great start
"The first chapter captivates the reader's interest. it was not too mysterious and it promises a interesting development. The next chapters were a little fast and there were suddenly a lot of characters. It would help if there are more background information abou them. I felt like the chapter two was too sudden. Anadis easily revealed her identity to a stranger. Still, I liked the plot and the protagonist's character."
Shows a lot of promise
"Allegory is an intriguing story that suffers from a few specific issues. The story's positives are the atmosphere, distinct characters, and premise. There is enough of a seed that makes me want to read further. Unfortunately, this is hampered by the writing. Allegory is difficult to read. This is not due to any grammar issues. Rather, it is in its pacing. Most of the sentences are of equal length and tend to run on the longer side. When read internally or out loud, the words tend to mesh into one another. Varying sentence length as to make the writing more engaging would go a long way to keeping the reader... engaged. There is also the issue of "show don't tell." While some telling, in my opinion, isn't a detriment, Allegory tends to swing the other way. Details and plot points are revealed explicitly, which formed a distance between me and the story. TLDR; Story has promise, but is hampered by the writing style."
Looking forward to more.
"I've read all the posted chapters, and while I feel that this is a story where it'll take a while for the plot to develop and take off, I think it has a lot of potential. The world you are bringing to life is quite believable and intriguing, and I look forward to finding out more about it and the characters. I would advise reading back through a couple of times to revise grammar/punctuation errors, which are scattered throughout the book. But don't fret over it too much, it can be easily remedied, and it's more important to do justice to the plot narrative and the characterization of the story. I hope this review is useful to you, and I wish you the best of luck with your writing :) Good work!"
What's Allegory All About?
"Hello there, My name is Jacklyn Cole and I was requested to give a good read through of your story and publish a truthful review! I have spent a decent amount of time re-reading through your story to make sure I could offer the best feedback to help your writing win a contest! Allegory is a fiction/fantasy novel that invites the reader into another world. The plot is very inviting and has the potential to become a tongue-tier if just the tweaks were edited. That being said, I am knowledgeable that the book is not yet complete- and that there is a lot more to add. Here are some things I've noticed: 1. I noticed that your book has a plethora of run on sentences. These could be corrected by simply reading your work out loud. Several sentences I noticed need semicolons and commas because they are statements that don't make sense without them. Ex: She turned to him in the dark holding her breath as to not smell him. There is a comma missing between dark and holding. 2. Most importantly, as an author you must describe or give meaning WITHIN the book text so that we know what is going on. Throughout the story I felt myself asking "What is a Triliane. . .. who is Zai?" Don't be afraid to explain things in the body of your writing, or through the memories of your characters to answer the readers questions. 3. I found myself wishing for a buildup. . .and a better explanation Roahan and Anadis. I feel like there should have been a bigger scene between the two of them meeting in the first/second chapter. Overall, I think the book needs a good read through. I rated the book 3 stars because it was the average overall for my scores. This rating will improve to a definite 4 stars if that read through happens. The plot is fantastic. Spend a bit more time on your earlier chapters before the book progresses! You have the plot, just work on the guts. I'm really excited to see where this story goes and I hope that you have benefited from my detailed feedback. Happy writing! Jacklyn Cole"
Allegory
"Although it’s too early in the story to judge your plot, you seem to have a clear idea of your world. I like your character names and I loved the description of the emprisoned ‚creatures‘ stuck in their houses. Your story has a lot of potential. Now, onto the things that weren’t so good: your first chapter began very well, although it started to go down when you introduced your character with the typical “I am bla bla, aged bla bla etc.” In itself, this isn’t so bad, but I’d suggest keeping this information from us and showing it instead of telling it. It’d also make it more memorable. You often forget commas throughout your chapters, especially in sentences in between clauses. You also need to have a look at your text and cut any unnecessary words, making sentences shorter and more concise. Description could also be distributed within the text, paying attention to detail, which would make the book more visual - like a film. Sensory imagery would also help world building. However, these things can be changed with some editing. You did a good job with your dialogue, and I love it that you know your story background so well! "
