What is your opinion?
Choosing Destiny: The Chosen
"Intriguing story. The beginning of the story draws you in, and fits with the title, that this girl was chosen. The main character's story becomes more complicated as the chapters go on, and we learn more about her life at the same time as the main character. These characters get to know each other very quickly and become friends. The harm she did, which is a huge one (I don't want to give anything away), shouldn't be forgiven so fast. It would add interest if she is quarreling with the person she harmed and slowly they start to forgive and get along, even start to feel something more than friendship. Maybe if you add a line that says the main character spent weeks with the new people and they slowly got to know each other and realized they had more in common than differences, and now consider each other friends. The friends believe Destiny has more control over her urges, trust she won't kill anymore, and are willing to fight for her. Just to show that time had passed. I don't know, just a suggestion. Also the old vamps. Very interesting characters, and I hope we see how this group continues forward, to fight evil. Enjoyed reading, good job."
Cool Story 😎
"It was a good story that kept me jumping out of my seat. I know I said that saying wrong but the story is really good in my opinion."
Good 👍
"It's an interesting read."
Wonderful plot
"Hi! It took me a while to get to your story but I finally read it! 😊 Although I’ve only read the first chapter, I feel there is going to be a roller coaster!! 😊 I love the plot of this story, and I like the fact that I’ve already learned a lot about the girl, Destiny. I like that you added a little bit of background on her, her family, relationships, and that sort of thing. You writing style is amazing, there are absolutely no grammatical errors, not that I’ve encountered so far. I also like the use of imagery. You describe the scene and the actions, which I think is great and it takes a skillful writer to do that. I’m new, and I also want to become a writer which is why I started writing my own book on here. I try my best to add as much imagery. 🤷♀️ (check it out whenever you are free, your opinion will very much help me!) I feel like this book should have more recognition, I think this is a great book and you should keep on the hard work! "
An Honest Review
"Following my previous review, I can definitely see the changes and edits that you have made and it has made things clearer and easier to understand. With added details I can now envision things much better and can get a firmer hold on the storyline that you have created. I would say that I did enjoy it more so than last time, seeing as the characters were now introduced more indepth to ud as tge readers. As requested I have left a comment on each chapters with things that I thought might help, so I hope that they make sense to you and that they do help in some way. I in no way mean for them to sound harsh, I am just quite blunt with my note making as I only bullet point them as I go along. I wish you all the best with this book, you have a good developing idea and I am sure that not just this book, but others you may produce will do well. Thank you for letting me delve into your world of supernatural beings. "
Good work!
"The plot of the story is interesting. It started off at a great note with the chase scene. However, I would agree with few other reviews that the pace of the story is too fast. You get to know so many things about Destiny's past and present in the first 3 chapters. Her past can be broken down into pieces and can be brought up throughout the book which might help to keep the balance between her past and present life. Also her easy acceptance of being a vampire doesn't fit right. It doesn't feel real. You can try to keep the portrayal of the characters as honest as possible. Slowing down the pace of the story would definitely help. Would love to read the enitre book and will revisit the review once it is completed."
Needs some development
"There was one review that I particularly concur with (although I don't think I'm as critical as they were) that this story does progress VERY fast and you have a huge info dump in the first few chapters. I think the remedy to this is to do a bit more showing rather than telling. Don't have a whole chapter dedicated to her past, let us figure it out through what she thinks (maybe short moments of flashbacks indicated by italics) or things she discloses verbally to others. Slowing down the pace would be helpful, too. I think the idea that the story starts in a chase, but that scene does feel a bit rushed. I want to see it drawn out a little more, see it take a longer time for her to figure out what's going on. I think slowing down the pace, in general, would be helpful overall. I think once you do those things then I would be able to evaluate other aspects of the story more clearly because the fact that it does move so quickly takes away from the characters and makes it harder to be immersed. It's like a roller coaster: you need to have moments of pause and slowing down to fully appreciate when the ride does drop or speed up. Can't have lows without highs and vice versa Hope this helps!"
Choosing Destiny
"I really liked the plot of this story, although I felt like a lot of information was provided that sort of made things over obvious, or maybe told too much at a time. Either way its definitely a story worth looking into! Can’t wait to see more from this author ☺️ "
Choosing Destiny: The Chosen
"Please remember to take my criticisms with a pinch of salt. I feel like too much is happening at the beginning of the story. I can enjoyably read books with chapters that have as many as 10k words but for some reason, your chapters just never seemed to end even though I doubt they have 10k words. The blurb contains way too many details about the story. It's supposed to have a suspenseful air to encourage people to actually read the story but it seemed to give everything away. From the very first chapter, we encounter Destiny, a girl who seems to love fun and is now facing an inevitable death as she's chased through the woods. Her interaction with her attacker was very bizarre to me. Because I don't think normal human beings instantly think of vampires when they're attacked by someone with 'super human' abilities. The dialogue between them felt unnatural and forced. In the second chapter, Destiny wakes up and relives the past, how she lost her parents, her abusive ex-boyfriend. Nothing suggested that all those events took place in the past. And the part about her ever encountering Justin again suggested that several years had passed and she was now in a higher level of education with him nowhere near. It was a rude shock to see that same ex-boyfriend appear in the chapter then. I also found it very strange that she decided to kill so many people after waving up. Vampires are usually described as brilliant creatures, so why did Destiny act so irrationally? And if her current boyfriend really was part of Justin's group of friends that she met on the road, shouldn't he have attempted direct communication with Destiny? I only read two chapters but there were a lot of inconsistencies in the story. I'm sorry but it just doesn't feel right."
Great read!
"The plot of the story is great. I have just read the first few chapters and I am honestly curious to know what happens further. I am not usually one to read fantasy or super natural books, but I like the overall story structure. But maybe try and polish the story a bit. I was a bit upset that she was not so responsive when she found out that she killed Adam, who was supposedly her love. As far as I know, emotions are heightened when you are a vampire. But overall it's a great read. Would definitely recommend it to my friends. "
On-going (18 chapters)
"Start of the story is nice, but later it confuses a bit as everything is going in past tense and then the scene with her dead mother, I mean it's little confusing you don't get to know that now she is in flashback and now the flashback ends. After Destiny turns into vampire, she accepted the fact unlike other stories where a lot of drama lies in acceptance. Really feel bad for people who died due to her bloodlust. Happy to see that after spending long time alone and surviving a toxic relationship, she found her brother ( the kissing idea was creepy BTW, sorry if I sound harsh but this is what I feel 😅) and love of her life, Taylor I like their group, meeting all new people and they get along well. Last few chapters are intense, every emotion in those chapters are portrayed perfectly. The plot you set up, totally surprising and unexpected. The water elders. I mean who expects them to be a villain, I think there is lot come. Overall nice story, reunion is amazing, very well portrayed. Plot and twists are on point. Emotions are painted well. Amazing work. Keep going "
