working progress - feedback needed
Share with your friends
Customize readability

working progress - feedback needed

All Rights Reserved ©

Summary

will the girl overcome depression and start to love life or fall back in it and bring her self to an unending sleep? a young girl struggling to face each day. hoping and praying to never awake from each blissful dream.

Status
7yrs ago
Chapters
1
Rating
4.0 (1 review)
Age Rating
13+

reality .vs. dreams

Coldness stretched its long arms , suffocating the silent sleeping sounds of the girl who lay flat on the gateway to dreaming. Every breeze sung a new whistle past her. With only a tiny opening the air mass managed to escape the outside and into the shadowy room in order to cool the girl who was in bed but also in a far off land somewhere. That Is the magic of dreams it can take you away , far away into any castle, dungeon or even to the very heart of the earth. There Is no coldness there. no chilling void to bring your senses to life and remind you reality is still beating in the concept of time.

Past the window and the silky curtains the desk was messy and still. Whenever it would be used a creaking sound let of to tell the world it isn’t lonely when lent on. Then on top stood a clicking clock restlessly ready to alarm the inhabitant that the sun had rose, the stars had ran and it was time to come back to reality. If was up to the girl the awaiting scream that exploded out of the clock would never arrive. Never to return to earth and her life but clearly she had to awake eventually despite her invisible prays that peeped out every night before her weak eyes fluttered shut. Beep beep beep. there it was , another unanswered pray tossed aside to bring her back. Back to reality. Reality sucks.

Let ashleyblack04 know what you thought about this chapter!

A.I Medina
A.I Medina

For an intro it is nice. You are very detailed in wording.  You could use a bit of touch up in grammar which is not bad.  Use Grammarly app or install in in your PC/laptop.  Keep going forward.  You can build something great with this.

7 years

Further Recommendations

The Missing Heir | Billionaire Romance

Inkiminki: Read this twice back to back.... (and read a couple of the chapters several times - phew - hot stuff). Clearly defined characters. Great stuff

Read Now
THE ALPHA WHO REFUSED TO APOLOGIZE

PansyPotter: I liked that the main female character is written to be a strong and intelligent woman

Read Now
My Blacksmith Savior

apolloavr04: I love it. It's a great story.

Read Now
Nothing Between Us

Elizabeth: It is engaging and entertaining.

Read Now
PARIS IN THE DARK

starlit_soul: The story was beautifull. I hope that every paris find her julien who heals her.

Read Now
The Grumpy Next Door

mmurphy1008: This book had my attention from the very first chapter! It has romance and humor and just enough tension to keep it moving along. Can’t wait to read more from this author.

Read Now
Bloodlines

Read4Free16: Fantastic development of characters and story line

Read Now
We Only Fake It on the Weekends

MFreeman5: Beautifully written, loved the plot- the characters. The ending ❤️ So great and can’t wait to read more from you!

Read Now
THE RIDGE

Kay Green: I read it in one sitting. So engaging. Loved it.

Read Now

Newest Collections