Duke

He stood over the stove looking down in concentration at the pan that was sizzling and popping as he cooked for her. He had only known her for less than a day and he was already making her dinner. Duke was dressed clad in leather, the hoodie underneath his leather jacket still had its hood over his head, it was zipped up only half way giving her the color of his shirt. It was grey. His black jeans tucked into his combat boots and a silver chain swooping on his left hip.

Duke was such as hardcore looking dude, seeing him slaving like a woman over the stove was a refreshing sight. She wondered if he could actually cook or if he was just trying his best. If he could cook, heaven knows he’d be the sexiest man alive. Nothing tops a hot man who can cook.

Yum.

Besides the rain, the scrapping of the spatula on the pan, and the low sizzling of food, no words were emitted from the either of them. They were practically strangers, she knew nothing about him except his name and the same went for him. The question that really mattered was: did she want to know him?

He acted well-mannered, a true gentleman, really if he wasn’t would he have picked her up from the side of the road in the pouring rain and taken her home, which was three hours out of his way. The problem was the way he looked. Now Ruth wasn’t judging him from his cover, no, it was because she had a past with a guy who looked like him. The same black and leather look, the same chilled vibes, people like him were the reason she was currently hiding.

But something drew her to him, maybe she just had a thing for the cliche bad boys or maybe it was just him. Ru couldn’t tell, but was she willing to take a risk like this again? Getting to know him could be a dangerous game. She didn’t want to make the same mistake twice.

“Ruth. Hey, earth to Ruth. I’m making spaghetti. I hope you like it.” Duke’s deep voice rumbled through the kitchen. He didn’t look at her, instead he kept his eyes trained on the task at hand.

“Yeah, I’d like some spaghetti.” Her voice was small and quiet compared to his, like the big bad wolf to a tiny innocent bunny. “I want to thank you for picking me up. I know it’s not really in your agenda to take a three hour detour from your trip to drop off a basket case like me.”

At first it looked like had a small smile at the corner of her lips but it disappeared before she could really tell, “No, I’m in no hurry whats so ever. Besides, it’s getting dark and I couldn’t leave you there. A pretty girl like you was bound to be picked up by a rapist or some shit. I’d feel like an asshole if I saw your face on a missing person or on the news with your body found in a ditch.”

Suddenly, all these different scenarios of him not being the one to pick her up flashed through her mind. She left like she owed him her life now, she hadn’t realized the potential danger she could have been in. If she wasn’t shaking from the cold, then she was certainly shaking from fear.

Duke seemed to have realized this too, “Shit.” He mumbled. “I didn’t mean to scare you, it’s just I know what kind of people roam on that road at night. Forget I said anything. Just know I was doing it out of kindness and not because I expect anything from you.” It was like his voice held some kind of soothing power over her because, she suddenly felt safe in his presence.

Ruth noticed that he was looking at her and she couldn’t help but notice his eyes. They were such a dark blue, it reminded her of the ocean. “Thank you.” Was all she could muster out past her lips.

This was getting awkward now, she couldn’t look away, her eyes wouldn’t listen to her mind and they stayed glued to his. Finally, he cleared his throat and turned back to the food. Ru could feel the heat rising in her cheeks and she turned her back on him to hide her violent blush pressing her cold fingers to her face to try to rid herself of the redness in her cheeks. She looked around and realized the state of her new apartment. It was a mess.

Everything was still in boxes littered around the small living room, there was only about six boxes plus two bags of her clothing. God, he must think of her to be a slob. Ruth felt self conscious of her temporary house and got up to straighten shit up. She pulled out her entertainment supplies, like her old DVD player and hooked it up. Then began organizing her collection of movies on the bottom shelf of her TV stand. Thank God the apartment came fully furnished.

“Did you just move here?” His voice came from above her and she flinched. She looked up at him with wide eyes and a hand on her chest.

“Uh, yeah. Just-uh-just a few days ago actually.” Ru noticed at his extended hand and reached for the made plate of spaghetti he held out for her.

She took it and thanked him quietly. “Well, if you live here than why were you three hours away?” Duke inquired while he walked back to the kitchen to grab his own plate.

Staring down at her food, she wasn’t sure how to answer this, she couldn’t tell him the real reason but she could give him a vague answer. “Just tying up some loose ends.” She continued to avoid eye contact as she picked up her fork and twirled noodles onto the four prongs.

Duke sat down on the couch with his plate steaming in his lap. “Do you want to watch a movie or something. I don’t have cable, I don’t really have enough money for that at the moment, but I have all these movies-” she gestured to the ones neatly placed in row. “And this whole box in here.” She placed her hand on the edge of the box which was situation on the other side of her.

“I’d love to watch a movie, what do you got?” He was focused on seasoning his plate with salt and pepper he didn’t look up at her.

“Well, honestly everything. I got horror, cult, action, romance, comedy, some fantasy, uh…” she shifted through the box to see if she could find a genre she hadn’t said yet. “Chick-flicks, mystery, thriller, you name it.”

“How about a thriller, do you have Shutter Island with Leonardo DiCaprio? I haven’t seen that movie in ages and I was actually just thinking about it yesterday.”

With her back turned towards him she didn’t feel self-conscious when she smiled to herself, that was one of her favorite movies, of course she had it. “Yeah, I think I do. Let me look.” She didn’t dig long since she knew exactly where she put it. Underneath the TV stand already put away in its place, she slipped it out and inserted it into the DVD player.

Once the movie started no more words were spoken and they watched it together, each sitting on the opposite end of the couch, in comfortable silence. Neither of them had noticed the time, but when the movie was over it was already peeking into the unholy hours of the morning.

“Aw, shit. I should get going. It’s fucking late.” Duke got up and was placing his plate in the sink.

Ruth bit her lip as she was nervous to ask him if he wanted to sleep on the couch. It was getting late and it was the least she could do for him since he basically saved her life. He was rinsing his dish and the pans he used when Ru found the courage to blurt out, “Do you want to stay here?”

He paused and looked at her, his eyebrows furrowed together, “What?”

“I-I mean, like, do you want to sleep here? On the couch, that is. I know that its super late and I know that you’re going for a three hour drive, but I just thought that you’d want to sleep and rest before you made that journey. If you don’t want to you don’t have to I just thought that since you saved me from being stranded on the side of the road that the least I could do was give you some shelter.” When he continued to not say anything she continued to feel as though she needed to justify her asking him to stay. Insecurities of every kind were racing through her mind: what he was expecting payment of the… sexual kind? No he already stated that he was only doing this out of the kindness. What if he felt like you were coming onto him? Oh God.

“I’d like to stay, that would actually be really great.” He chuckled lightly. “I can sleep on the couch, do you have any blankets?” He continued to wash the dirty dishes.

Ruth got up from the couch and searched for the one box labeled, “BLANKIES” she prayed that he didn’t see the label. Opening the box and pulling out her second best comforter she laid the folded blanket on the couch and ran back to her bare room and ripped the bottom pillow from the pile for him to use.

He was done washing the dishes when he got back, “Here’s a pillow.”

Ruth handed it to him and he took it with a nod of his head. They stood there awkwardly until she realized that it was bedtime.

“Well, uhm goodnight, and thank you for dinner, I think that was the best spaghetti I’ve ever had.” She smiled kindly at him which he returned with a small one of his own.

“It was no problem and thank you for letting me stay here.” Ruth didn’t say anything but a nod of her head then walked back to her room.

When she closed her door quietly, she realized her mistake almost immediately. She should have given Duke the bedroom that way she had the DVD player all to herself. Since Ruth never slept anymore it was going to be a long time until the sun came back up.

She sighed heavily and threw her body on the bed, face down. She got comfortable on her tummy and closed her eyes attempting to find the elusive sleep she once knew as a friend. Hours went by of tossing and turning but nothing worked and she was still wide awake staring off into the dark. This was pointless. A thought crossed her mind and she thought about going out into the living room to see what Duke was doing, but as she realized how freaking creepy that would be Ru quickly dismissed the weird thought. Although, she could walk through the living room to get outside to smoke a cigarette.

Ru pondered this over and over going through all the different possibilities of how that could play out, best case scenario would be that she didn’t wake him up yet she still got her much needed dose of nicotine in her system. Ruth took a big breath and sat up, grabbing her pack of smokes and green lighter from her nightstand. Quietly, she crept from her bed and cracked the door open as slowly as she could to refrain from making a noise. As it was wide enough for her to slip past she tiptoed into the living room.

Her eyes instantly found the couch and her eyes searched for him, but he wasn’t there. With eyebrows furrowed she looked around the small living area but it was obvious he had already left and that strangely left a sense of sadness in her chest. But she quickly shook out of her funk and walked to the front door. It didn’t matter that he left, with or without a goodbye, perhaps it was for the best. When she opened the front door she didn’t bother to be quiet about it, there was no reason to.

The early morning weather hit her flesh before she had time to react and goosebumps flared over her skin shivering through her body. Watching where she was stepping she didn’t look up until the door closed behind her. Her eyes met with his and she froze in her spot looking at him with wide eyes. Duke didn’t leave. He was outside leaning over the railing of her four by four porch smoking a cigarette.

With a half butt in between his fingers he looked at her over his shoulders with an eyebrow raised, she could only imagine what thoughts were going through his mind about her being a stalker.

“I just--” she held up her own pack of demons accompanied with the lighter.

Duke opened his mouth slightly like he was going to comment but closed it again and slid over to give her room next to him, and he turned his head back out to the view before them. She quietly stepped up next to him and leaned her elbows on the railing, much like him, and placed one of her few remaining cancer sticks between her lips before bringing up the flame to ignite the drug. She took a large drag and held it in her lungs before exhaling.

They stood in silence together staring out at the city lights in the distance, the one and only good thing about this apartment complex was the distance between it and the city. It was just far enough she couldn’t hear the pesky cars or sirens that went off during the night, but it was close enough to see the pretty lights and be able to see the beautiful sky full of stars on clear nights like these.

“You didn’t take me as a smoker,” Duke commented finishing his butt and smothering it on the bottom of his shoe.

Ruth took the paper stick out of her mouth and held it in her fingers to respond, “I try not to let people see this side of me, it’s not exactly a habit that I’m proud of.” She leaned down and pick up the old metal can she used to collect her butts, there were only two in there. Holding it out for him he dropped it in the bottom.

“When did you start?” Ru glanced at him and found him already looking at her. She wasn’t sure if he was genuinely interested or just making small talk, but she answered anyways.

“I think it started when I was sixteen. My boyfriend, at the time, forced me to smoke one.”

“Forced?” Shit, had she said forced?

“Well, he didn’t force me, but he told me smoke one so we looked like a cool couple I guess. He was already a smoker and I wasn’t, I remember the night. We were at a party and he wanted me to smoke a couple to make us look like the badass couple, or something. The reasons behind it are still a little confusing, but after that I think I just got hooked on the nicotine and it became a habit.” Ruth quickly took in a drag to calm her nerves that Duke always seemed to light on fire.

“Excuse my opinion, but he sounds like a shitty ass boyfriend.” Ruth laughed at his bluntness, she couldn’t deny it because it was true. Only she hadn’t realized it until seven years later.

“Hence, why he’s an ex-boyfriend now.”

“Well, good.” Duke gave her a small smirk.

“How about you? When did you start smoking the cancer sticks?” She inquired looking at him, he raised his eyebrows and blew out a breath of air like he couldn’t remember his first cigarette.

“I believe I started smoking at fourteen, my older brother used to smoke and he always had two or three packs laying around. My middle schooler friends thought it would be a good idea for me to steal three for us to smoke together. And I did, I stole one for each of us and we all snuck out one night and we smoked. We spent the majority of the night coughing and spitting out the disgusting taste in our mouths, in fact, one of my friends began puking. None of them smoked another again after that.” Ruth was in a small fit of quiet laughter when he finished his story.

“But you did, why?” She question furthered.

“Eh, I guess it was because my brother used to. It made me feel closer to him and I didn’t have a father growing up so he was the closest thing I had.” Duke’s eyes widened slightly at what he just told her. It wasn’t a big secret that he had grown up without a father, he wasn’t ashamed of it, what surprised him was how easily he was opening up to her. He was never one to talk about himself so freely.

Ruth took his look as shame or shock and instantly spoke up to relate to him, “I didn’t have a father either. It was always me and my mom ever since my dad had felt us for a younger prettier version of my mom. I mean seriously I saw a picture of her and she looked so much like my mom when she was young, it was uncanny.” Although her voice was light and friendly Duke could see the sadness in her eyes.

“When did he leave?” His voice was quiet, careful not to set off some emotional time bomb within her.

“He left when I was about three, I think. My mom had just been fired and my dad still hadn’t found a job so things were tense in the house, or so my mother told me. In the days before he left she told me that he had been coming home late and always smelled of liquor and cheap perfume. Then one day his mistress showed up with her shiny red mustang and my father comes out of his room with his bags and he kissed me goodbye and told my mom ‘See ya’. Haven’t seen him since, he tried reaching out to me when I was ten but I wasn’t ready to talk to him yet and blew him off, he hasn’t tried since then.” Ruth was now picking at the burnt flakes of tobacco that had died out in her forgotten cigarette.

She wasn’t sad about her father leaving, Ruth had come to terms with it years ago and it had grown to be a dull thorn in her side that she barely acknowledged nowadays. “What happened to your mother? After he left.” Duke asked.

“She spiraled.” Ruth laughed a lame sound. “She began drinking and slowly progressed into drugs. As I got older it got worse, for a job she got hired as a pole dancer at a bar and would bring me with to be babysat by the other girls when she was on stage. Once I could understand words she started verbally abusing me and would constantly tell me that it was my fault dad left, that if I wasn’t born she would still have her job and she’d still be with him. Around then I was seven and she started bringing different men around the house, sleeping around, and throwing drug parties where strangers would be shooting up on the couch. And then finally, when she saw one of the strange men trying to get me to shoot up and sleep with him did she break out of her sleaze sleep and she quit everything cold turkey. The drugs, the men, the alcohol, and she started being a real parent. For three years she was amazing, it was the best three years of my entire life so far.

“And then he reached out to me. She slipped back under and it started hitting her harder, she would be gone for weeks and I would be left home alone with nothing and no one. I would have to sleep at a friend’s house for weekends lying to their parents about how my mom left on a business trip. She had completely abandoned me for about another four years and I didn’t know what to do. She was my mom and I couldn’t turn her in, they’d take me away from her and I’d really have no one. So, I dealt with it, it wasn’t until I was fourteen did I snap and spoke my mind and had an argument with her. I can’t remember much of what I told her but I remember I was crying and said something along the lines of her being a horrible mother and then she hit me.”

Duke suddenly stood up straighter and stared down at Ruth with a glare. “But that seemed to totally break her. She hit me so hard I had a red hand print across my face and my teeth had cut the inside of my cheek and she just suddenly started bawling on her knees in front of me. She begged me to forgive her and that she would fix herself. She sent me off to live with one of her close sober friends and I never saw her until I was sixteen. Turns out she admitted herself into a rehab. She’s been sober ever since then.”

He still held a stern look on his face as he continued to look at Ru, “Do you see her often?”

“Every then and now. Even though she constantly apologizes everyday for the shit she put me through but it’s still left an emotional scar. Especially, the things she said about me being the reason dad left. I know it’s not true, but when your own mother says that to you it leaves scars.” By the time she was done ranting the mutilated cigarette in her fingers was nothing but paper and a filter.

“I could never.” Duke stated. “I don’t think I could forgive my mom if she ever did that, of course, my father didn’t go willingly, but if my mom had spiraled like yours did I probably still wouldn’t be talking to my mom.” His facial expression changed from stern to disgustedly astonished.

“It wasn’t very hard to do, she was the only person I had in my life. I think it just sort of came naturally.” They both remained silently for a moment before Ruth bit the bullet and asked Duke about his dad. “So… what happened to your dad?”

Duke turned away from her and sucked his lip under his teeth, “He was killed. He was just at the wrong place at the wrong time and got caught in the crossfire. I must have been six, my older brother around 13, and my baby sister had just been born.”

“Oh, my God. Duke I’m so sorry I had no clue, I shouldn’t have asked.” Ruth quickened to apologize for his loss and her invasive questions.

“No, don’t sweat it. I tell myself that he’s in a better place so it doesn’t bother me as much. It is what it is.” Ruth wanted to say something about how sad that was, but she knew it was true. It is what it is.

For hours the two sat outside and talked about whatever the conversation led them to, from the dark days in high school to the bright mornings of their best days in life. The longer they talked the closer the two became and the more their souls connected. By the time the sun was beginning to rise did they realize they had spent the whole night talking.

“So, much for getting sleep before I leave.” Ruth’s smile slowly slid down her face as she realized that this could very well be the last time she’d see him. That’s when all of reality crashed down on her, she couldn’t get close to anybody, much less a man. If fate was to repeat itself then she would have no more than a month tops in this city. What was she thinking? This was probably the closest she had ever gotten to another person in years, it crushed her to think she wasn’t allowed to have this.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that.” She stood up her sitting position on the ground and dusted off her butt.

“Don’t be, it was really nice.” Duke remained on the ground and closed his eyes for a moment, Ruth took this time to really study him. Only one word popped up into her head when she saw him: tired. He looked tired and it wasn’t just a simple tired, the kind of tired you get when you’ve been driving around all day, no. This was the kind of tired where you are stuck in the same loop over and over again with no ticket out. But what Duke as tired of Ru didn’t know but she could tell he was tired of the things in life. She could tell because she had seen this same expression in the mirror too many times.

“Come on, lets put you on the bed to sleep for the remaining half hour you have.” Ruth teased and held out her hand.

Upon opening his eyes he stared at her hand and then her face before placing his hand in hers and she hauled him to her feet. Ruth wasn’t sure what happened, how he got so close but when he stood up they were so close together Ruth could smell his heavenly cologne.

God have mercy, she internally begged. Clearing her throat she stepped back and gestured him to walk in first. When he did Duke made his way to the couch, “You can sleep on the bed, I really have no use for it right now.”

He turned to look at Ruth with furrowed eyebrows, “Why not?”

She closed the door, “I can’t sleep. You take the bed and I can lounge on the couch and watch movies. I can also have breakfast made for you before you go.” He was about to open his mouth in protest but Ru held up her hand to stop him. “I’m serious, I can’t sleep and you need it more than I.”

For a moment Duke was silent as if he was mentally debating whether or not he should go, Ruth didn’t really see the problem, it was a win-win situation in her eyes. Finally, Duke nodded his head and slowly walked back to the bedroom. Even after she heard the door shut she could hear his heavy footsteps make it to the bed before they stopped.

She sighed and threw her body over the back of the couch and landed on the blanket and cushions with a bounce. One arm rested on her stomach while the other laid over her forehead, Ruth wasn’t sure for how long she stared at the ceiling and let her mind go blank. She hadn’t felt this empty for months. Slowly, her eyes became heavier and heavier with an old friend: sleep.

A/N