CHAPTER 1
Caleb:
I begin to see her in a new light. I realize there is more there than just hunger. There’s unbelievable beauty, her hair as golden as the sun, every strand looking as if it has been perfectly placed. Her eyes, FUCK! I didn’t know they could be so blue! Bluer than the Caribbean Sea. Her skin looked as soft as the finest silk I had ever encountered, and her lips are full and voluptuous, stained in red. Never did I think I would see such a beautiful creature in my inhuman life. I found myself unable to stop looking at her. She sat alone in the little corner coffee shop reading a book, Tolstoy, while sipping her coffee. I couldn’t help but wonder if I stared any longer, would she look up and notice me? Wait, what am I thinking, did I really want her to see me knowing I could never have anything with this girl? I kept telling myself to stop, to get up and walk out before it’s too late. I can’t get my body to move. My limbs aren’t responding. Here I sit demanding my body, fighting with my inner self as if I’m pleading for restitution. I have seen this girl many times in town and never once have I taken a second look. Why now? What am I thinking? You’re not thinking—.
For over two hundred years I’ve never been able to love, it was not possible. Fuck, the sheer torment of the words “I LOVE YOU” are like tiny knives to my skin. What is happening to me? By this time, I am yelling at myself, GET UP! Finally, I felt my leg move underneath the table. Okay, more like a single twitch, then the other followed in suit. Finally, I’m able to stand while still staring at her peacefully reading her book. I can’t get my eyes to focus on anything else in the room, just her and her voluptuous red stained lips. I attempt to turn quickly hoping my eyes would follow. There’s a stained-glass door in front of me. Hesitating, I reach out to open the door while asking myself, have you gone mad? Keeping my eyes forward I continue to walk through the door repeating to myself, “this was just a fluke.” I beginning to question my own attempts at self-assurance.
When I got outside the small-town stores are closing, and the streets are quiet. All I can hear is my own thoughts. The confused thoughts that feel like I’m screaming them out loud for the world to hear. My body feel oddly different. Numbness, sharp stabbing knives, boiling blood and confusion. Home, home is my goal. I’ve got to get far away from here, away from people and away from HER! Why can I not get her out of my fucking HEAD! This girl, she’s—like—the plague, a plague of confusion and sharp stabbing knives. Grr… I don’t understand these feelings, the only feelings I’ve endured around a human is hunger. Well, of course hunger and the occasional hard on. Even than it’s slim to none.
I stop and look up realizing I’m now standing in front of an old rickety house with paint chipping, window shutters falling off, overgrown shrubs, and shingles missing. It looks as if it is as old as I. Where the hell am I? Me get lost? ha, right! I haven’t gotten lost in hundreds of years. Okay… so I’m a bit cocky when it comes to my sense of direction. So, sue me. What brought me here, who’s house is this? As I investigated, I see an old woman through the oversized front window. She’s rocking in her chair like life is so simple and with no care in the world. I used to think life is simple. Hm... How my life would have been different had Alexandrea not come along. Would I have been the old man sitting in the rocking chair? Suddenly a rush of anger came over me. Why the fuck am I thinking about all this human trivial bull shit? I’m not, nor will I ever be human again! When I look back into the window, the old woman is gone. I turn to leave, and this smell catches my nose. This smell, I took in a deep breath through my nose and closed my eyes. It’s sensual, overpowering and different. As I exhale, I open my eyes and see a shadow of a woman’s form on the moonlit gravel road. The smell is drawing me closer and closer to the shadowy figure before me. All sense of control is gone, lost, lost with no way back. The only thing I can think about is the smell, the amazing sensual, overpowering smell. I took a few long strides towards her. As I got near her, the smell gets stronger. I wanted it. I wanted her. I did not care who she is. My thoughts are desperate. The sound of footsteps on the gravel get louder and louder. I stop digging my heals in. With my eyes wide open, I can see. I can see her clear as day. It was her, the girl from the little corner coffee shop. “Hey!” she calls out with a heavy tone. “Who’s there?” Without hesitation, I take to the tree line as fast as inhumanly possible. She must not see me.
“Hey, wait! Hello?” I hear her call out.
Hidden behind the tree line, I knew she couldn’t see me. I stood next to an evergreen tree with a trunk base as large as a small car. Standing there with the tree protecting me as I watch her.
As she looks around, she called out, “Hello? I know you’re out there.”
She sounds more annoyed now, less curious. She’s only several feet in front of me staring right at me as if she can see me. Knowing she can’t see me; I stand here still listening.
“You know this is private property?” she yells, followed by a short sigh.
I step back further behind the tree resting my back against it, looking up through the trees into the moonlight. I took in a deep breath, and as I exhaled, I heard the gravel under her feet as she walks away.
