Part I - Youth
Part i: Youth
To ignore the vibration of her cellphone was to experience an ever expanding rash gnashing away at Alexandra’s thigh. Societal obligation and guilt played their part to prevent her from scratching that particular itch. Why bother? She already knew who, why, and what the text was about. She sat and stewed as the vibration persisted. If she were in the main sanctuary Alex could subtly text a reply. Unfortunately, this particular Sunday, she’d already caved to Daniel’s request to join the high school youth group. Here she sat, trapped among twenty-four teens facing one another in a circle, crammed in a classroom that shrank in size with each passing second. With every subsequent buzz of her phone and growing contempt for Daniel, Alexndra also began to crave an answer to the incoming text…
ISABELLA: WTF? Why are you still in church?
Chronologically speaking, the order of events that lead to Alexandra wasting a perfectly good Sunday weren’t hard to follow. After enduring weeks of shared trauma, Daniel and Alex’s social status had coagulated into something which resembled a tolerable partnership. Their mutual curiosity was beneficial for both parties; Daniel wanted to rediscover his faith, and Alexandra desired to grasp the source of where her power came from. As a bonus, Alex appreciated the fact that Daniel had defied expectations and accepted her as a natural born witch. In turn, Daniel was pleased that Alex didn’t immediately murder him after he’d made the discovery. Usually the hurdles of being a no-binary female presenting, bisexual, and monstrously sarcastic were enough to keep most of the church-folk an arms length away. No such luck on this particular Sunday.
Alexandra uncrossed and crossed her legs hoping to shift the cell phone into a less irksome position. A futile effort made in slim black jeans. Jeans were definitely a mistake. They may have smelled relatively fresh and were the one pair that didn’t have any holes, but in this room Alex should have known her Lucky jeans would be under appreciated and uncomfortable. At least her cotton Angels and Airwaves T-shirt was comfy. She didn’t even like the band anymore, but the shirt’s comfort had two important factors; one, it was a size too-big over her slender frame, and two, it smelled like her step mom.
As a career woman in her late thirties, Corina was in a perpetual state of hyper-stress being a defense attorney at a local firm in downtown Phoenix. To compensate for her lack of internal calm, she made a marvelous effort to pair her deodorant, laundry detergent, and hand lotion; everything lavender and vanilla, all the time. Her biological mom on the other hand only cared about whether her nurse scrubs weren’t caked in blood or smelled of sorrow. Despite being on opposite sides on most domestic issues both her moms made a marvelous pair together.
Normally, Alexandra would force a pleasant face for her moms’ sake and join them upstairs in the main sanctuary. At least up there she could text and ditch before closing worship. This particularly blistering fall Sunday, Daniel just had to cash in on the one favor Alex owed him. All things considered, it could have gone worse.
Usually repaying favors involved something sexual or trudging off to some party to play wingman for Isabella. Wing-woman? Whatever that role is where one is obliged to lie to some other girl or guy and convince them that bedding their best friend is a good idea. None of that for Daniel. Nope. In fact, it was just the opposite. For some insane reason, Daniel was the one going to bat for Alexandra in this room full of bored teenagers.
Seated across from Alexandra was Jewel. She was in her mid-twenty-somethings; well manicured nails, long blonde hair, and a blinding white smile. Fresh out of seminary, she opened in prayer for the group. She highlighted all the AP honors’ theological vocabulary she’d learned and made sure every fourth word was a variation of the name of God. Alex’s mind wandered, curious if God needed to be reminded of his name as often as Jewel mentioned it. Did He have that short of attention span? Is that why it was so hard to answer prayers?
Conversely, the last time Alexandra performed a spell, she’d only had to vocalize it once and it worked. Whether the Big Guy Upstairs was actually listening to any of us were the source for most of Alex and Daniel’s arguments. Why did an all powerful God take so long to answer prayers compared to a seventeen year old witch from Arizona? Even Alexandra could admit that something didn’t seem particularly fair about that type of power dynamic. Theological head scratchers like that was where Daniel came in. After weeks of research and experimentation she’d eventually found herself making an unwanted appearance at youth group.
Jewel had finally closed her prayer. Her eyes beamed at the group; “Happy Sunday everyone! I’m so stoked to see a new face here today. Shall we introduce ourself to the room?”
Alex bit her lower lip and choose not to mention that her family had been attended this church for the last ten years.
Mercifully, Daniel stepped up with an introduction; “Alex wanted to give High School Ministry a chance, dig deeper into The Word and all that. I told them Sunday AM class was on a roll with exegesis of the scripture and maybe give it a shot?”
What Daniel had actually told Alex was that Jewel was fairly competent in the scriptures and Biblical history and not let teenage church-folks’ ignorance get under her skin. Typically she’d have given a hard pass. If only she hadn’t owed Daniel a favor.
Jewel clasped her hands together, “That’s so cool! Welcome to Sunday AM, Alex. We’re so glad you decided to give us a chance.”
Seated at Alexandra’s three O’clock position, a Scene Girl with bright neon yoga pants and equally electric flavored tank top spoke up, “Why does it say ‘They/Them’ on your tag? Are you like, two different people or something?”
A Clean Cut Boy wearing his starched school uniform interjected, “Maybe she’s possessed? Like in Mark 5:1 and Luke 8:26 respectively: that thing with the demons and the pigs? Is your name tag a possession joke or something?” Laughter puttered out from the group.
In regards to pronouns, Alex came to the understanding that there were two primary opinions on either side of the spectrum; those who religiously died upon every hill to educate the ignorant about personal identification and those who wanted to speak to humanity as infrequently as possible. Alexandra leaned heavily toward the later encampment. It’s not that she was strictly non-binary. Alex considered herself to be many things, most of which she found no one of suitable intelligence to discuss such matters with.
Flatly Alex breathed out a reply; “Yup. There’s a whole lot of us in here.”
Without losing her pep, Jewel took hold of the group’s collective attention; “Alright then, thank you again Alexandra for your presence this morning. Today, we’re continuing with our reading in the book of James. Typically, we go around the room and read the whole chapter, everyone reads a handful of verses at a time. Then we breakdown the verses that stick out to us in the context of the chapter, the particular book, and the Scriptures as a whole, etcetera. Is that cool everyone? Fantastic! Let’s start with Lilly…”
Alex half listened to the chapter that was being read out loud. Her other half studied the students. Most of them were as invested in the scriptures as suffering through a Trigonometry lecture. It was kinda depressing to honest. Sure, Alex could sympathize that like Trig, the Bible was complex; different literary styles, genres, and subtext that required a fair amount of study to appreciate. The same concept applied to spell casting. Unlike trigonometry, spell casting and (by Daniel’s assertion) the Bible impacted peoples’ souls. Alex sighed, and assumed the students would have bothered to pay more attention if they actually believed the Bible to be true.
Blinking herself out from her inner monologue, Alexandra felt the collective impatient stares of the surrounding students. Daniel leaned over and offered his open Bible. His finger subtly tapped on the next verse on the page.
Alex cleared her throat and quickly read aloud, “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” As luck would have it, she’d landed on the last verse of the chapter. Blessed be.
While she tossed the Bible back to Daniel, Alex silently thanked the Author for teeing up a perfectly good sex joke. Judging by Daniel’s expression, he sensed Alex’s mind orbiting the word ‘unstained’. At the cue of his grunt, Alexandra let the joke slide back down her tongue into the catcher’s mitt of her brain. She took solace assuming the joke would have been wasted on this fashionably and sexually deprived crowd.
Before Jewel could open the floor to group discussion, the Clean Cut Boy from before scoffed. Seated farthest to her left, Alex tried to read the source of the boy’s frustration. She also took note of his peculiar red tie. Something about it seemed eerily familiar. It wasn’t from any local private school she’d seen before…
In a sing-song tone Jewel asked the boy, “Preston, did you have something to add?”
Matter of factly, Preston retorted, “Yeah. She read the verse wrong.”
A collective murmur began to swell. Alexandra wasn’t particularly concerned. If there was anything she was absolutely confident about, it was her ability to read. Additionally, Alexandra knew that unlike any of these humans, when she spoke, reality changed. What she didn’t know was how this group would react when challenged. In her experience, mobs had a tendency to sway rapidly from calm to calamity. If these church kids should turn from benign to malignant, Alex would keep her eyes on the exit.
Preston folded his arms and leaned back, “Verse 27 says, ’Pure religion is to be undefiled from orphans and widows to keep oneself unstained from the world.”
In the midst of the groups’ confusion and whispers, Alex caught the rather obvious change in translations. Fortunately, this wasn’t her show. Jewel was the adult in the room and Alexandra was more than happy to let someone else drive the conversation. Unfortunately, that’s not how things began to unravel.
Preston continued his prosecution against his uninterested defendant; “See, Alexandra, in the correct translation, the author shows that to associate with widows and orphans is sinful.” Satisfied his explanation stood unopposed, he continued, “That’s just like in the city, where you’ve got homeless people, widows, and orphans; their sin made them that way. If we keep throwing money at them they’ll just use it for drugs and alcohol. All those liberals trying to help those kinds of people are just as guilty... They’re accessories to sin.”
Alex quickly glanced around the room and took stock of the rest of the classroom; a few nods, grunts of approval, even one hushed Amen. Jewel appeared unfazed by Preston’s alternative scripture. Mostly everyone else remained silent. The only thing louder than the quiet complicity was the persistent tap of Daniel’s pen atop his pocket notebook.
Daniel cleared his throat; “And what translation are we reading from exactly, Preston?”
Waving his thick crimson book with gold edged pages, Preston replied, “The right one.” Spreading his forced smile, Daniel pressed, “How about we compare versions and see if we can spot any outliers in the text, shall we?”
Preston scoffed, “This is the Trinity Rectified Scripture: the fact based translation.”
Alex watched as Daniel kept his eyes from rolling to the back of his head. Instead, the man adjusted his blue jeans as he stood and asked the room, “Does anybody else wanna read their version of verse twenty-seven?”
At this request, Jewel appeared to temporarily reanimate herself, “Come on gang, who wants to read verse twenty-seven aloud, again?”
Lethargic would be too generous a word to describe the lack of urgency in the room. Most of the students didn’t even have their own Bibles. Of course Alex wasn’t one to judge. She wouldn’t go home with the hypocrisy trophy today. If someone put a gun to her head, Alexandra couldn’t remember where Corina kept their family Bible at home.
Alex did however have a cell phone.
Ignoring the thirteen new messages from Isabella, Alexandra opened the AppStore and downloaded the first Bible App she could find. Hopefully the new application wouldn’t interact with her porn and cause the phone to burst into flames. Out of all the travesties today’s youth group could deliver, having her carefully curated collection of ethically produced porn erupt in holy fire would be just the worst.
In the time it took Daniel to find someone willing to reread the contested verse, Alexandra had finished downloading the whole Bible with no ill effects to her phone. She spoke over the murmuring crowd, “Verse twenty-seven, ’Religion that God accepts as pure and without fault is this: caring for orphans or widows who need help…’ New Century Translation. ’...Caring for orphans and widows who need help…’ Young’s Literal Translation. …‘Visit orphans and widows in their affliction…’ English Standard Version.” Alex scanned the group, “There seems to be a concurrent theme present.”
Preston’s smug expression erupted into indignation. Without another word, the boy pulled out his phone and began to dial. More to himself than the room, he muttered, “You don’t believe me? This version is true. My dad said so. You’ll see. My dad will set you straight. He'll set it all straight.”
Daniel and Alexandra exchanged glances that desperately held back laughter.
Barring Preston’s moment of shaken faith, everyone else in the classroom seemed to be staring off into the middle distance or checking their phones. Even Jewel was thumbing through notes in her leather bound binder. Did no one actually care about what stance their religion had on loving others? No. Apparently not. With the exception of Jewel, Daniel, and herself, everyone else appeared too preoccupied with themselves.
A moment later Preston’s speaker-phone began to ring aloud.
Almost in a state of distress Preston huffed into the receiver, “Dad, I’m in church, you’re on speaker; tell ’em about what the Bible really says about widows and orphans… about sinners.”
Over the phone, the voice of a statesman spoke loud and clear, “Oh, um, hello there. Caught me off guard there. Can y’all hear me okay?”
Jewel nodded. She actually smiled and nodded at the phone.
Annoyed and almost beside himself with anxiety, Daniel replied, “Mr. Archibald Boon, we were just in the middle of our Bible Study when--”
Cutting him off, Preston’s father boomed out, “Good! That's good. Reading the Bible is exactly what y’all ought to be doing this fine Sunday. You know those Other People out there don’t want God mixin’ with their Sunday morning’s at all? They don’t do anything… except steal welfare.”
Alexandra’s pale complexion went from ghost white to nearly transparent. Now she understood Preston; his father was governor Archibald Boon. Up until recently, he’d been a unimpressive figure in local politics. That changed when his reelection campaign crept around the corner. He had aggressively campaigned on family values and ‘American Morality.’ That’s where Preston got that twisted phrase: ‘Accessory to Sin.’
That rally cry had become the closing line at his father’s campaign rallies; the fear-flavored cherry on top of an ice-cream-sundae stuffed full of bigotry, hatred, and religious dogma. Over the summer Governor Boon’s catch phrase had spread to near ubiquity in their boring and boiling little city outside Phoenix like scarlet fever for adults.
Archibald Boon, uncontested over the phone, continued his rant; “...Because what They don’t tell you in your public schools is that They’re coming into our state and burning down our churches. They burn ’em down! They can’t stand our American Churches and Values. They’ve been dressing up as priests too. That’s right. They’ll come into your church disguised as priests preaching that we ought to let people do whatever they want and live by their own rules. That’s a fact that should shake us all to our core--”
Daniel’s voice shook as he shouted over Boon, “Nope. That’s not actually a thing. Where exactly are you getting these reports? Where is the evidence that churches in Arizona are being infiltrated and burned?”
Flabbergasted, Boon Senior sputtered and corrected course; “Y-young man, those are exactly the questions the liberal media wants you to ask. They want you to look the other way. They don’t want you to believe your own heart to what’s going on in our state. It’s a fact; our country is being led straight into the darkness and we need to bring American Morality back!”
Alex had stood up to adults. She’d fought demons. She’d gone toe to toe with principalities and entities that would drive a lesser mortal straight up insane. That didn’t mean it wasn’t hard. To stand up, alone, was always hard. Every. Single. Time. She could tell by the way Daniel gripped his pen, the steel look in his eyes, and his quivering lip. He was about to lose his mind.
Swallowing hard, Daniel held his ground; “Again sir, could you sight any empirical evidence about these burnings and church takeovers?”
Over the phone, Archibald Boon’s voice wavered, darkened; “I’m in the middle of some important work here, young man. You’re going to have to look that up yourself. The evidence is right in front of you. What’s your name, boy?”
Daniel shook, barely able to speak. He bit his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood.
Now that the tension had grown thick enough to cut with a guillotine, all eyes were on Daniel. Twenty-four teens from impressionable freshmen to jaded seniors waited to see if Dan would fold while standing up against the local state hero Archibald G. Boon.
Senator Boon’s distorted chuckled came over the speaker again; “What’s wrong, son? Cat got your tongue over there? You forget your own name?”
Against all odds, Alexandra lowered her voice and spoke, “It’s Lingus, Sir.”
There was a brief pause over the phone; “Lingus?”
Alexandra inhaled sharply trying to impersonate Daniel's voice, “Yessir, family name Lingus, given name Connie.”
Another pregnant pause. Students in the room slowly put the pieces together. Then, at last, Mr. Boon’s voice roared, “You listen here, Mr. Connie Lingus, you better think twice the next time you start wagging your tongue at your elders and given them lip-” As the chuckles turned into irrepressible laughter, Archibald sounded out the name more deliberately, “Lingus… Connie Lingus…? Preston! Take me off speaker. Right now!”
Alex and Daniel both watched Preston swiftly rise and walk toward the exit. There was a lot of head nodding and ‘yes sir,’ before he finally hung up and returned to his sea with a scowl that nearly bent down past his chin and into his neck.
Jewel had once again decided to wrangle in the students from giggling and chatting amongst themselves; “Alright, let’s settle in now students. We’ve only got a few more minutes left to go before service lets out-”
Preston again interjected, less sure of himself now that he’d presumably had a dressing down via his father; “My dad’s right. He’s right.”
Jewel shrugged and her unrelenting smile never faltered, “Well no one can ever really know for sure what’s real. That’s why we have our faith. Right students?”
The laughter that Alexandra had suppressed since the idea of being ‘stained by the world’ finally burst out of her mouth. It was quickly contained, but the sharp pop of her laughing fit drew the attention of the classroom back to Alex. With Daniel still recovering from his standoff, Alexandra was left to fend for herself against the judgmental gaze of high-schoolers.
Alex shrugged, “You can’t just have faith. Even the most outlandish beliefs are built on a foundation of evidence or something factual. Right?”
Indignant, Preston now lashed out at Alex, “No. That’s science, not religion.”
With a handful of soft spoken and well-rhymed-words Alexandra could have sent this boy into a realm of shadow and madness. Instead she choose to recline in her chair as she posited her hypothesis, “Science is a tool. Anyone can and should use it, especially for deciding what to believe in. How else are you supposed to know what you know. Ya know?”
Actually jumping to his feet, Preston’s face burned like a hot kiln; “You can’t have science in faith. What would you know anyway? You don’t even have the right Bible!”
Alex was filled with equal parts amusement and fear. She glanced at Jewel, but her million mile stare didn’t spark confidence in an easy escape. Dan was also fuming. Intelligent dialogue wouldn’t outnumber the expletives being held back behind gritted teeth.
Preston again cut through the silence; “What do you care? You don’t belong here.”
Alex drew in a deep breath through her nose and exhaled slowly through her mouth, “You’re right, Preston, I don’t care. But the thing about science is at least I have the freedom to ask questions about what I believe in and not throw a temper tantrum.”
Typically, when met with Alexandra’s laid back energy and lack of conflict, the opposing party would simply deflate and walk away. It was a rare sight to see someone so determined to remain angry over schematics in a classroom studying the ‘supposed’ Word of God.
Nevertheless, he persisted, “I believe what’s right! Why don’t you go run off and believe in your science!” Preston had balled up his fist. Alex wouldn’t wait to see if he’d use them.
After scanning the room to assure no stray pitchforks and torches were lying about, Alexandra stood up and stretched. Her satisfying yawn covered her rising urge to flee; “Right again, Preston. Besides, it’s lunch time, and I’m famished.” To Preston’s surprise, Alex casually strolled toward the door. Before turning the knob, Alexandra paused. On a whim she choose to call Preston's bluff; “Then again, I suppose it’s only polite that I wait for him to come down here. Have him set me straight?”
Preston scoffed, “Wait for who, Jesus?”
Alex shrugged, “I mean, if He shows up again, sure. I meant your dad though. He’ll be on his way down from the main sanctuary to pick you up? Might as well wait.” Just as she’d suspected, the disappointment on Preston’s face said it all. Alex dropped her jaw in mock surprise, “Wait, your dad isn’t coming? I thought I heard him say church is where people should be on Sundays. Surely the Governor for American Morality would be in his own church today?”
Preston said nothing.
Again Alexandra shrugged, “Thanks again for the invite, Daniel. It’s been enlightening.” Turning the knob, she eased the door open and sauntered into the hall. Other children, middle school, elementary, and a handful of toddlers strolled past Alex as she made her way to the stairwell. As the closing worship from the sanctuary above swelled, all the students eventually shambled out of the basement up to the real world above.
Alex’s attention wandered from the kids to the design of this particular church: youth below, and adults above. In this basement shelter, students were being groomed to take on their parents beliefs. Whether they attended simply by obligation, others like Preston, developed into what Alex feared most; zealots indoctrinated with blind devotion.
Alexandra finally made her way out the main sanctuary doors and into the parking lot. The oppressive midday sun beat down on her shoulders. Heatwaves danced up from the freshly paved asphalt. One could practically hear the ground sizzle. As she neared her mothers’ violet painted Ford Bronco, Alex felt relief at the sight of her parents. Even Alex’s little sister Nora was hope that at least one kid in this forsaken town might turn out alright.
Then Alexandra remembered Daniel. She paused, but wouldn’t dare turn around to face that church again. Not today at least. Alex still had plenty of unanswered questions; about Daniel’s faith, about her power, about the world at large. For now they would remain unanswered. She wanted to close out her Sunday morning on a high note, satisfied at least one mortal could brave the pain of standing up for what was right. That one speck of hope was enough to satisfy Alexandra...
For the moment.
