CHAPTER 1
"Do we have to do this now?" Rue asked his mother even though he knew it wasn't up for discussing.
His mother had forcefully pulled him away from his artwork, to a chair in the bathroom, wrapping a cloth tightly around him. She took oil and rubbed it around his hairline and began squeezing the brown dye she had made onto his hair, slowly working it in.
"Mom, I don't want this, and I can't see new growth!" Rue cried as he pulled his head away. The dye always burned his scalp, and the smell of it always took days to faded away. Ignoring him, his mother grabbed a lock of his hair and pulled him back into the chair. "That hurts!" he cried, as warm tears rolled to the edge of his eyelids.
"You must be still!" His mother shouted, her voice trailing into a whisper, which still startled him. Rue settled back into his seat using the cloth to dry the tears that wouldn't stop falling.
After several minutes of quiet cry, Rue shouted, "No one else has to dye their hair!" and then he quickly covered his face with the cloth.
His mother froze. He could feel her fingers trembling as she walked from behind him to the front of him, dragging down the cloth to see his face. His mother's brown eyes always looked tired when he looked into them, but now her eyes tightened with stress as if the world had suddenly collapsed around her. She cupped Rue's face pressing her forehead to his, small bits of the dye from his hair transferred onto strands of her hair.
"How do you know that?" she asked him.
When Rue saw his mother's frightened reaction, he swallowed hard and said, "No one at school talks about it."
"Do you?" she asked. Her breathing was heavy, and tears rounded in her eyes.
"No," Rue replied, and that was the truth.
His mother hugged him, kissing his cheeks over and over again. "Good, because if you do. They will take you away and kill us both," She growled standing.
"You said I was a gift from God! If so, why are we living in fear?" Rue asked, sadly.
"You are just like your father. Lilac eyes more beautiful than any flower I've ever seen, hair as white as snow. Normal boys don't look like you, especially boys born from brown mamas. They surely don't hear or see the things you do. Animals aren't drawn to them, and they don't have to wear gloves to avoid sicknesses. Last, but most important, normal children's eyes don't bleed when they are angry. Those that do, do you remember what I told you they are called?" she asked, her voice very soft.
Rue nodded.
"What?!" she shouted, scaring him.
"They are considered evil and killed by the royal knights," Rue replied, bending his head to allow his mother to finish.
"Good. Don't forget that you are also my child, which is already considered a sin in this world."
Rue could feel his anger slowly building, but when he remembered what happened when he is overwhelmed, he took deep breaths checking his tears to make sure the tears were clear.
"Why do they want to hurt us?" Rue asked as she massaged the dye in.
"Because the world is cruel, no matter what you do or where you go. Don't ever forget," his mother replied after many minutes of silence.
That evening, Rue cried in bed until he was too weak to move. He had lost so much blood that it had weakened him. He was afraid to call his mother, fearing she would keep him from going to school if she saw him. His condition couldn't be healthy, nor could this be a gift. 14-years, and he still doesn't know why his mother did any of the things that she did.
His mother was an orphan who got pregnant by his father when she was nineteen. She had this otherworldly beauty that drew people to her, some good and others not so much. If she looked at you, you had no choice but to freeze and stare back; it was her deep brown eyes that drew people. As well as her amazing curly hair that was the color of burning coal, it was so long that she always kept it braided in two cornrows to the back.
Anyone who met the mother and son for the first time, couldn't grasp that they were related, despite sharing almost identical facial structure. Rue's mother was an indigenous woman from a faraway land, brown in complexion, like baked summer soil. Rue was the opposite, his lack of pigment left him fair like snow and unlike the other children in the village. Villager assumed he was a sickly child and perhaps has been since birth.
When Rue's mother's hair wasn't braided, she had what seemed like thousands of stringy curls, while Rue's hair grew straight. Whenever the other children would taunt him about his origins, his mother would pull out his father's stopwatch that opened like a locket. It was the size of Rue's fist, and inside was a photo of his parents holding him when he was born. Rue indeed looked like his father's twin. Seeing the image of their complete family always helped Rue feel better but also reminded him of what they had lost.
Rue never got to know his father in his conscious life, he was killed before his first birthday, and his mother never went into details about it. However, his mom has been paranoid that the same folks that killed him were after them. So all of his life, his mom was always looking over their shoulders.
The unknown scared Rue. However, his mother assured him that as long as he followed her instructions, they will be fine. Rue was told never to take off his gloves in public. And that he should avoid showing anger to others. Lastly, Rue must always remember to dye his hair before it grows. If Rue can maintain all of this, he would be guaranteed a long peaceful life in this cruel world.
When Rue was 6-years-old, his mom finally settled in a village known by a few folks as Nejin. Nejin was far from for the Noble lands, and far from the King's Capital. His mother chose to settle there because of how long it would take the Royal Knights to travel there if villagers became suspicious of her son.
They lived in a small cottage that was swallowed by the surrounding trees and a stream, just outside of the village for extra precaution. There were times when Rue loved living a distance from the other villagers. Rue loved being surrounded by nature. Most importantly, Rue loved that he could talk to the animals that always found their way to him without the worries of anyone seeing and questioning his sanity.
Moments where living so far was troublesome for Rue was when he had to go to school. Still, Rue always looked forward to it because halfway down the road, his best friend Harlow would wait, and they would walk to school together.
Rue laid half awake when his mother entered the room to check on him. She took one look at him, his stained pillows, and started to pull out clean sheets while he laid watching her. On her face was a painfully sad look that Rue had seen many times before whenever this happened.
Rue always wondered what his mother thought whenever she had that look on her face. Could it just be that she felt sorry for him, or did she regret having such a sick child? Whatever it was, Rue always felt guilty and wish for the day she would never have to make that expression again. Rue's mother changed the sheets without moving him off the bed. Then she laid down beside him, where she cuddled her son until he fell asleep.
The next morning, Rue, who was locked in his mother's arms, kissed her on the forehead as he unwrapped her brace to get ready for school. Rue felt light-headed and nauseous but continued to make his way around the bed to get cleaned.
"I want you to stay home today." Rue heard his mother say after leaving the washroom.
When Rue entered his bedroom, his mother was sitting on the bed. She looked just as drained as he did.
"I promised Harlow that I would be on time this morning," Rue said, sadly.
"Rue, you lost a lot of blood, so you need to rest," she replied, sweetly.
"I would feel better if I had bread and eggs?" Rue pouted.
His mother looked surprised, and Rue knew it was because he agreed to eat eggs, something even she couldn't convince him to eat in the past. His mother gave up trying to force him to eat meat and had suggested eggs since to get eggs the animal isn't killed in the process.
"You want eggs?" his mother asked, surprised.
Rue nodded, smiling.
"Will you eat all of it?" she asked.
Rue nodded. He couldn't hide his smile as his mom left the room to prepare breakfast for him to eat.
Rue swallowed the eggs to avoid chewing it, and as annoyed as his mother seemed, the fact that he ate it was enough for her.
Rue walked to the door and waited for his mother to unlock the numerous locks with her key. She grabbed a pair of brown gloves from a basket filled with them and gave it to him. As Rue stepped out the door, he turned around to reassure his worried mother that he will be okay.
"Love you," Rue told her, smiling.
"I love you too!" she replied. "Keep your gloves on and come straight home," she ordered.
Rue nodded.
Rue power-walked down the path excitedly. He loved the outdoors because it reminded him of how big the world is. 'The world was cruel,' was a phrase his mom always used, but to Rue, it was beautiful. He loved everything about it. Whenever the cold wind blew, it was nostalgic, and it reminded him of the time when he and his mother wandered, looking for a place they could call home. Rue was small then, but he remembered that there were times when they were hungry and cold. The two of them had come a long way since then.
Rue spotted strands of Harlow's flaming red hair and laughed. Every morning Harlow would try to surprise him, but for whatever the reasons and no matter how far Rue was from Harlow, Rue would pick up on his location. As if he could feel Harlow's body pulsing with every step he took. Plus, his friend was terrible at concealing himself.
"I know you're there," Rue said, with a laugh.
Harlow sighed, stepping out from behind the tree, disappointed. "How do you do that? It's like witchcraft," Harlow replied.
Rue frowned. Being labeled that was what his mother was afraid of, Rue just hoped no one else thought of him that way.
"No, it is because you are terrible at hiding. Your hair gave you away," Rue said and smiled at his friend.
Harlow's face turned bright red, and he shyly looked away. Harlow was not a shy guy, so Rue was surprised by his sudden behavior. Harlow was a lanky guy, whom no one would think he had a robust and fearless personality. However, he was fierce. Flight or fight was never an option for him. Harlow was the type who would never back down from a fight, even if he ended up injured. Harlow coming to Rue's defense was how their friendship started many years ago. It was also how Harlow earned the favor of Rue's mother, who doesn't trust anyone.
Their walk was much quieter today; Rue took note unsure what was going through his friend's head. It was unlike Harlow to not ramble about things that did and didn't make sense. Every time Harlow would turn to Rue, he would start to speak but eventually shake his head nervously and smile. Rue was getting nervous, Harlow was his only friend, so Rue was afraid that maybe he did something that bothered him.
"Are you okay?" Rue asked.
Harlow turned to him, stared for a bit, and then he smiled. "Yes. I promise I am okay," Harlow said before Rue could follow up.
Rue accepted that all was okay and continued to follow him down the path and into the village towards a church that doubled as a school during non-service hours.
It was an old church that showed its age of nearly a hundred years. The children that attended school at the church couldn't afford to go to the regular schools, but the teaching was the same only that their teachers were, of course, the kind, but firm priest and nuns of the church. There were several classrooms, a total of twelve. Each class held 24 kids that were separated by their age groups and gender. The girls were separated from the boys, but everyone was in the same space during lunchtime and recess.
All the students were assigned a uniform that was gray and white in color. Since gray stood in the middle of being either white or black, it signified not yet pure. So since humans were born sinners, gray was the color of their souls. The girls wore head coverings and long gowns that were cinched at the waist while the boys wore tunics and pants.
Throughout the day, Rue didn't know how he did it, but he managed to keep his eyes open. Despite the fatigue and the overwhelming desire to lay his head on the long mahogany table that sat six boys in a row of four. Rue sat in the last row, closest to one of the sizable double-door windows. Whenever he was bored, he'd stare out the window and watch the birds, and the butterflies play, they were so entertaining to watch.
Harlow, who sat beside him like he always had from the first day of school many years ago, was still behaving strangely. He wasn't distant, but he was quieter than ever before. When the final church bell rang, and it was time to go home, Rue gathered his things and followed closely behind Harlow.
"Want to come over for dinner?" Harlow asked as they walked through the doors together and out into the field.
"I can't. Mama asked that I'd come straight home," Rue replied.
Harlow scratched the side of his face and chuckled. "Okay. Want to come over tomorrow? We're going down to the lake to fish, and Dad said he'd teach you if you come."
Rue frowned. He so desperately wanted to join them. He had never gone fishing before because his mom feared he'd fall into the lake and drown. "I'm sorry."
"Understood, it was worth a try," Harlow replied, as he pulled him along. Rue watched as all the children group together, laying and playing delaying going home. He envied them and how free their lives seemed.
"Harlow!" someone called. They both stopped and turned back at the same time. Rue watched as Noel, a classmate of theirs, jogged over to Harlow, dismissing that Rue was even there.
"We are going by old man' field, want to come?" Noel asked, looking from Harlow to Rue and then back to Harlow.
Rue wasn't surprised, Harlow was pretty popular among the children of the village.
"Sorry, but next time. I have plans with my father," Harlow replied.
"Okay, next time then," Noel replied, narrowing his eyes at Rue in disgust.
When Noel was gone, Rue tapped Harlow's shoulder. "You should go. It sounds like fun."
"Nah, I enjoy walking with you, and I really have plans with father," Harlow said, messing up Rue's hair.
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Author's note:
Thanks for giving, 'No Place For Me' a read. Makes me so happy. This novel is complete, it’s 50 chapters, plus 2 bonus chapters. It’s between 120,000-150,000 k words. And was copyrighted 2020
I want to apologize for any errors or grammar issues. Most of the time I can't see it. Will continue to work on it.
- You can also find me on wattpad @dreamandglow, I post there first as it the first home for my stories.
