Chapter 1
Talking to Boris, we both came up with this cross cultural mnemonic
If in doubt don’t go out
If you’re dim, stay in
If you’re cognisant of your extracurricular intradimensional awareness,
To circumvent stress
Stay local, avoid Skegness
In da thug life, stick wit’ da wife
Stay outa da club ’n keep yo life
’void da corona, it won’t bone ya
No need rehome ya
Kidz
***
The BBC, Keir Starmer, the Guardian and the Mirror are working overnight on the first two lines (this last bit is not meant to rhyme)
The Times are concerned about the iambic pentameter vis a vis the rhythm of the secondary couplet.
The New Statesman are undecided whether to protest about cultural appropriation or give it a Modern Culture award (as long as Boris is not accredited,)
The Skeggy Bugle have told the London Press to please fuck off and leave them alone.
[Backing track suggestion. Good times by Chic]
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