Walking Heartthrob

“You’re sending me to LONDON?!” My voice had hit the soprano pitch. I knew I was gonna get it from Mom for this but I couldn’t help it. This was beyond the level of horror that I could tolerate.

Maybe I should start with an introduction of myself before you see me in ‘full on freak out mode’. Hi, I’m Alyssa Rosales. Lys for short, as in Fleur de Lys, not Liz, ‘ys’, not ‘iz’. Yeah, I have to make that explanation a lot. Anyway, no one ever calls me Alyssa unless I’m in trouble. Like right now with my mom yelling my full name in my face. How did it arrive at this point? Long story.

I’m eighteen, just graduated from Venice High, Venice, California. Not Italy, but… you get it. So what happened? I’ll fill you in. Last night was the best night of my life. I had, for the first time, thrown a party of my own here at my parents’ beachside mansion. I mean, living in a twelve thousand square feet house with a full-length swimming pool and a ginormous lawn does beg one to throw a party that will be the event of the year. And what better way to kick off the end of high school than with a bang at a party? Unfortunately, the ‘bang’ part also exploded after the party when Mom and Dad came home at midnight from a business trip in Tokyo—yeah, I have always been bad at numbers and miscalculated the time difference. Shoot.

I’m not complaining. I just wanted to break the rules for once. I’m not the kind of girl who lived on a tight leash—that was my Mom actually—my parents were fun, lively, amazing people who never deprived me of anything. But they knew when to draw the line. I was not spoiled, thank God, just—misperceived by a lot of people at times. Am I confusing you? Let me break it down.

You could define me as a ‘Malibu Barbie’. I had perfect blonde hair (not to brag or anything) Azul eyes and I’ve been told I’m gorgeous by every boy I’ve met at high school. I credit that to my parents who also have devastatingly good looks. Grateful for good genes.

I also have it all, you could say, the perfect life, perfect grades (except in math), perfect family, and my perfect boyfriend (at least to me), Kevin. So what could possibly go wrong in my life? One slip-up and I’ve been exiled to London!

“I cannot believe you threw a party without our permission! Not that I’d have ever given you permission to throw an uncensored, unsupervised party…” Mom had been ranting like that for the last twenty minutes with Dad interjecting an admonition every other minute. I tried to apologize for the first few but when I realized that was futile, I shut my mouth and listened in silence, figuring it was better to get it over with. When they had run out of steam, I’d receive my punishment, serve my sentence, and then everything would go back to normal. I might even be banned from hosting any more parties at the house, but still. I was going away to Berkeley. Or Stanford. Who cares? Either way, I’d be able to party in the U.S.A. on the other side of the country. Until my mom dropped a bombshell on me—

“London?! Like London, Britain?!” I’m staring at my parents, horror on my face and my jaw on the floor. “Come on Mom, Dad, this is a joke, right?” I began to laugh nervously—or hysterically. Because no way would my parents banish me to a foreign country.

“This is not up for debate, Alyssa!” Mom was swatting her hands in thin air, a gesture that spelled ‘this discussion is over’. “You messed up big time, young lady. I had my doubts at first about sending you so far away, but now that I think about it, this will be the best decision for you. You’re going to London!”

“But Dad!” I pleaded, tears in my eyes. I had to turn to him for refuge. “You can’t just ship me off to another country! It was just one party! What did I do that deserved this?”

“We came home to the police, Alyssa!” The unnatural harshness in Dad’s voice told me he also had no sympathy for me. “I have never been so humiliated in my life! To be informed at the airport that my daughter was having a rowdy party full of teenagers at our house?!”

“But it was just one party!” I was adamant on this point even if the tears were falling thickly now. “Tony’s been to dozens! You’ve never come down this hard on him! Why me?” By the way, Tony’s my twenty-four-year-old brother.

“This is not about your brother, Alyssa!” Mom shouted.

“And Antony never had wild parties here in the house!” Dad argued. Ugh, no fair, they were both defending him!

“But still, I don’t deserve to be shipped off to—”

“That’s enough, Alyssa!” Mom cut me off. “You are going to London and I will not hear any more on the subject! You will attend King’s College and live with your grandmother until then! This will be a reformative experience for you.”

"Reformative? Mom, I’m not a freaking delinquent!”

“Don’t get smart with us Alyssa, this is absolutely the last straw! You are going to London and that’s final!” I stared at them, unable to believe my ears. Finally, it sunk in. They meant business. This wasn’t just a bunch of words thrown in the heat of the moment. This was real. One slip-up and it’s off with my head.

“I can’t believe you guys!” I cried and fled to my room upstairs. I locked the doors and flopped on the bed, ready to weep my heart out. I had plenty to cry about, that was for sure. But my one regret now was ever having that party; was it worth the punishment I received? No, I’m starting to think not. I knew last night it was risky having a party without permission; even if I was eighteen, it was still at my parents’ house. Plus, I was a girl; an unsupervised party full of wild boys and girls did forewarn trouble. Like beer and ‘Jimmy’s tricks’ trouble. Not that I crossed too many lines, all I did was get a little drunk and make out like crazy with Kev (nothing more, I do have standards). He’s such a good kisser—I think, because I’ve only had one boyfriend my whole life and there’s no measuring rod to hold against him.

At any rate, I guess when you’re a girl and you hold a no-adults party at your house, you’ve just sealed your fate. And it ain’t pretty.

“Lys? Can I come in?” There was a knock on my door and a soft voice spoke. Of course, it was Antony, my one and only older brother. The one who’d get away with going to parties because he’d never had one at home. Right now, I didn’t want to see him so I yelled ‘Go away’ without even raising my head from my tear-soaked pillow. He didn’t knock again and since he couldn’t enter, I thought he left. Until I heard him grunting outside my window.

“Tony, you jerk! Did you just climb through my window?!” I sat up with a jolt as I watched him put a leg over my balcony. He must’ve hopped over from his balcony next to mine.

“It’s the only way to see my little sis, isn’t it?” He said with a friendly grin.

“I would murder you if I weren’t so terrified that Mom and Dad would have me hanged if you died by my hands!” I hissed. “That is so dangerous, what were you thinking?!”

“I’m thinking my baby sister needs someone on her side right now,” he said, jumping onto my bed and pulling me into a hug. “I heard—what happened.” He mumbled softly into my hair. I pushed him away.

“You know, even my sentence doesn’t seem as bad as what you did,” I said suddenly, eyes blazing. “It was you, wasn’t it? You called Dad. You’re the only one who could’ve.” With everything that had been going on, I only had a moment to wonder who threw me to the wolves. And I guessed right. Tony’s guilty expression confirmed it.

“Yes.” He didn’t even deny it. Hot tears of anger filled my eyes and I began punching his chest.

“I hate you, Tony! This was the one party I ever threw for my friends, how could you do this to me?! You’re worse than Judas!” I wept and continued ranting fiercely as I hit him. He just took it all without defending himself, letting me pour out my wrath on him until my energy was exhausted. Then he caught my hands and pinned them to my knees.

“Are you done?” He asked softly. I sniffed.

“No, I still have a few more years worth of torture for you,” I cried.

“And I deserve it, I know, Lys. I’m sorry for ruining your party and hurting you, but I don’t regret it and if I had to do it again, I would.” I stared at him in utter disbelief. My brother betrayed me and was willing to do it again?

“Why?” Was all that came out of my mouth. He looked straight into my eyes and sighed.

“Because I had to protect you,” he replied straightforwardly.

“From what?!”

“From that bastard you call your boyfriend!” A trace of anger seeped into his voice. I blinked at him in shock.

“Kevin? What does he have to do with this?”

“He’s a whipped jerk, Lys! And I couldn’t let him violate you!” Tony said, clenching his fists. He got off the bed and continued to speak.

“I heard him talking with some of the other guys last night.” That’s right, Tony arrived from work in the middle of my party. “And I was terrified. I couldn’t stop them all alone and they were all already high. I had to end that party before—”

“Wait, talk about what?” I pressed. I had to find out. Tony turned to me with a dark look in his eyes.

“Don’t make me go over it, Lys! You know what I’m talking about! And I’d rather go to jail for assault than sit back and do nothing when I knew that prick was planning to ruin my sister’s innocence!” He stopped, swearing under his breath. He sighed.

“They all have sick minds and I’m surprised but eternally grateful they didn’t corrupt you yet. Kevin’s no good, Lys, trust me. Please, break up with him.” Tony begged me, coming and holding my hands. I bit my lower lip. I found it so hard to believe what he was implying. That Kevin, the love of my life, was a perverted jerk. But it couldn’t be. That guy has stuck by me through everything! He’s even refused every girl that came under his nose! Girls with curves and girls who were expert flirts, he’s turned them all down for me! So how could he—ugh, I can’t even say it.

“You’re wrong, Tony.”

“Lys, I know you trust him—”

“He’s never been anything but decent to me! He’s never given any reason for me to believe that he was after me for the wrong reasons!” I defended Kevin. I saw hurt pass through Tony’s eyes as he knew I refused to believe my own brother over a boy. Tony stood up, his expression becoming cold.

“It’s a good thing you’re going to live with Gran. At least I don’t have to worry about you there,” He said impassively. My heart clenched. He struck a nerve with that one. I took a pillow and flung it hard as I could at him.

“Go away Tony, and don’t come back again!” I shrieked and returned to weeping on my pillow. I heard the door open and shut and knew he’d gone. I had not physically lost him, but the emotional void my brother left in me was definitely painful. I had always looked up to and trusted my protective, big brother. But turning eighteen meant making my own decisions. And if Tony couldn’t trust my judgment, then I guess it was the end of our relationship. And the start of a sibling feud.

I was left alone with my thoughts until dinner time. And I had a lot to think about, counting everything I’d have to give up by going to London.

“Honey? I made your favorite.” There was a knock at the door and Mom entered some hours later holding a covered dish of lasagna. I knew what it was because I could smell it, my traitorous mouth watering against my will. I forgot to lock the door after Tony left. Shoot.

“Lys, baby, please look at me.” Mom pleaded in a gentle voice. Guess that meant she was over her fit.

“No,” I mumbled against the pillow. If I could resist the tempting smell of lasagna and go on a hunger strike, maybe she’d be more persuadable…

“Honey, I know you’re mad and you want to let it out. So let it out.” Mom said as she stroked my hair, surprising me. I sat up slowly, giving her a watchful look.

“You won’t say anything?” I asked. She shook her head with a soft smile.

“Mom, you’re sending me to London! It’s cold and wet there nine months of the year!”

“You’re thinking of Seattle, honey.”

“No, I’m not! There’s no such thing as sunlight in Britain! How am I supposed to get my vitamin D? How am I supposed to sunbathe? How am I supposed to go to the beach? I love the beach!”

“Well, on the bright side, you’ll get to experience actual snow in winter,” Mom said gently. I scoffed.

“Seriously Mom, bad pun! There is no ‘bright side’! And I hate the cold! And that’s not all—what am I supposed to do without Starbucks? What am I supposed to do without donuts?”

“There are hundreds of Starbucks outlets in London, Lys!” Mom said with a little laugh, as though she found it ludicrous that I thought there weren’t coffee shops in London. I scowled petulantly.

“But the coffee won’t be the same! Britain is known for tea, not Americanos! And how will I survive without McDonald’s? I can’t go, Mom!” Mom was definitely holding back laughter now.

“Well if food and the weather are all you’re concerned about, then you have nothing to fear. There are McDonald’s stores all over London too. And I would even make you pack your sunglasses. That should assure you of the weather.”

“Wait, I’m not done yet!” I protested. “There aren’t even barbeques there! It’s too cold for a cookout! And what about our family night grill-offs? We were supposed to have those when I came home from college for weekends! If I go, I won’t be a part of that anymore!” Mom sighed at the end of my speech. I was struck by how similar to Tony she was—sensible and calm unless provoked to a great extent. In that respect, I was a carbon copy of Dad—looks and all. We were both livewires and went on emotional rollercoasters a lot. But we had a sense of humor and were fun people to be around—at least, that’s my impression.

“It’s only for three years, Lys. King’s College will be amazing, I promise. And You’ll have Gran with you—”

“Mom! Are you trying to add to my torture? This is ‘Gran’ we’re talking about!” I was practically dying of misery now.

“I know she can be a bit uptight, but she’s family—” Mom tried to reason.

“She’ll chop me up into tiny pieces and stuff me between two slices of crustless bread once she sees me!” I interrupted my mom. “The woman can make a saint sin!”

“Don’t talk like that, Lys,” Mom rebuked me sharply. “I know she’s a little difficult, but she will be thrilled to have you at the estate. It’s a beautiful place in the country, you can even go riding.”

“I’m not going anywhere near a smelly horse!” I retorted. “And stop trying to sugarcoat the situation Mom, it sucks!” I saw Mom’s jaw clench but she spoke in a dead-calm voice.

“Alright, if you want to be difficult about it, then fine. Have it your way. Things would have been a whole lot easier if you had viewed this with a better attitude but if you insist on making things difficult for yourself, then I can’t help you.” Mom got up and headed for the door.

“What about Berkeley? What about my friends? What about home?” I stated, my voice becoming more pathetic near the end.

“King’s College is an excellent prestigious school and is one of the best in the world. As for friends, you’ll make plenty in London. It’s not like you weren’t planning to say goodbye to your friends when you thought of going to Berkeley. Didn’t you say Kevin was going to San Francisco to train for a major league? And Trini was going to Washington?” Dang it, she remembered that. Kevin was going to college on an athlete’s scholarship and Trini, my best friend, was interning at Washington.

“Yes but, Mom, San Francisco is like a half hour away from Berkeley, Kevin was planning to meet up with me every week!”

“Then you wouldn’t have come home for the weekends,” Mom said, her eyes x-raying me. But her tone softened after a moment. “Lys, baby, this party isn’t the only reason we’re sending you to London.” I looked up at her wide-eyed.

“Your father is planning to open a resort in Tokyo,” she continued. “That business deal we went out there for? It was a success, thank God. But his work will keep him there in Tokyo at least for a year, and I most certainly must go with him. We were planning to leave within a month. And we couldn’t possibly keep you here without us.”

“What?” I screeched, getting the shock of my life. “You’re leaving for Tokyo and didn’t tell me until now?! What about Tony? What about your work?”

“Surgeons can find work anywhere, Lys,” Mom replied calmly, in contrast to my hyperactive interrogation. “And I might take the year off to work on my book.” Mom wrote medical books on the side. “As for Tony, he’ll be here to take care of the house. Your father and I were planning to let you live with him if you went to college nearby but…” disappointment crossed her eyes. “After last night’s behavior, you’ve proven you’re not mature or responsible enough to be left without proper supervision. And Tony will be busy with work so he can’t babysit you all the time.”

“Mom, babysit?” I cried out in disbelief. She sighed, not bothering to reply to that.

“Your father and I are leaving. Your friends are leaving. It’s time for you to as well. You’ll be well taken care of with Gran. And you’ll learn to love Ramsden estate as much as home, with time,” Mom said. Somehow, her words sounded like she was trying to persuade herself more than me. That’s why I couldn’t stop the next sentence from my lips even though I knew it was a low blow.

“Yeah, that’s why you couldn’t wait to get away from there when Dad married you.” She turned around, her eyes full. But she held her stance, that controlled anger evident in her posture.

“Eat your dinner,” she said, and left the room, shutting the door more forcefully than I liked. I felt like wailing. I lay back on my pillow, staring at the fairy lights covering my wall, heavy nostalgia hitting me at the thought of leaving home. I suddenly remembered my dinner as my stomach gave a growl and I sat up. I lifted the cover off the lasagna dish and sniffed as tears sprung to my eyes again as I inhaled the delicious familiar scent of cheese and tomato sauce.

“What am I going to do without Mom’s home cooking?”