Chapter 1
-Arc’s POV-
The scenery of the pack was a depressing sight. A few months had passed since the incident, no one knows whatever happened during the time Shade was stuck in the Witch’s custody. Shade had never spoken much about it, but he hadn’t smiled at all since then. I had felt a stir in the back of my mind when Shade woke up from a week-long coma but ever since then, I couldn’t feel Alectos anymore. I know that he is still alive, cos I’m not dead or dying, but he has severed any communications. Just like Alectos, it seems that Shade wants to do the same. Although he could only do it physically.
Needless to say, everyone’s feeling was like the dark winter sky that hangs over us. No one was in the mood to decorate and celebrate the holidays. There wasn’t a single Christmas tree in sight. No red or green lights.
“Shade? I brought food.” I knocked on the door and waited for a reply. But none came. I suppressed my instinct to whine and claw at the door. I was slowly but surely adapting to the ways of the humans. One has to step up if he needs to take care of someone else.
Balancing the tray in one hand, I pushed open the door. I scanned the room, but I couldn’t find Shade in it. Where did he go, I thought to myself. But the smell of blood wafted into my nose. I quickly placed the tray down on a table and dashed into the toilet. I hastily knocked the blade out of Shade’s hand and inspected the wound. Thank goodness it wasn’t deep. I licked at the wound out of habit and that would help with the closing of the wound.
Shade hissed in pain and tried to pull back his hand, but I kept a firm grip on it. When the wound finally closes. I pulled Shade into a hug and whined into his hair. I could feel his fear and shock with our connection as mate, and although I don’t understand why, I know that I need to be here. Shade broke down in sobs as I help him tightly. It wasn’t much, but it was all I could do. I rubbed his back and slowly felt him fall asleep in my arms. I tucked him into bed and left the room.
“How is he?” Blaze asked when I came down to the living room. I shook my head and took a seat on the sofa. “It must be tough to see your own mate in that state.”
I didn’t reply. Saying it was tough was probably an understatement. Not being able to help your own mate or even part of your own soul. I don’t think that there is anyone else who knows what I’m going through. But before I could delve further into my own dark thoughts, Blaze tilts a pack of cigarettes towards me and looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
“I normally wouldn’t smoke but in times like this, it helps to let out a bit of stress.” Blaze commented, taking a long drag from the weird-smelling stick. We stood at the cold, wet balcony. If anyone else saw us, we probably looked crazy standing out in the winter cold with only a tee and shorts. I look at my unburnt stick and wondered how anyone can enjoy this offensive-smelling object. But I was too bothered about everything else to question my actions.
I brought the cigarette to my mouth, which made Blaze smirk. With a wave of his finger, the other end of the stick glowed red. As amusing as it was to watch the paper stick burn, I decided to copy what Blaze did. The instant the strong taste of incense hit my mouth, I went into a coughing fit as my lungs tried to expel the harmful gas. I clutched the wooden railing as my eyes teared from the violent coughing.
“Whoa, go a bit slower. You’re still new to all this.” Blaze commented, laughing while he watched me suffer. This time I took it a bit slower and breathed out the smoke which seemed to disappear into the wintery sky. That instant, I knew why some people smoke even though it’s not the most enjoyable experience. The tiny sense of relief and control over something was addicting when your whole life is a mess. Watching the smoke disappear was like a fake relief that all the problems will just up and vanish from your life.
It certainly wasn’t anything good or anything positive, but it was enough to make me feel that things will be fine soon, even if it’s just for a moment. I closed my eyes and gathered back my thoughts. I can see why some people are hooked up on this thing.
“Don’t depend on it too much.” Blaze suddenly said, interrupting my thoughts. I looked over and saw a solemn look on his face. “I can only guess how you feel right now, and I know that it’s probably a bad time to give you something like this.”
“Well, I don’t think any time is a good time,” I said, looking down on the burning cigarette.
“That’s true,” Blaze said, laughing it off. “But I think that this is probably something you need right now to stop you from going crazy.”
“You’re probably right,” I said, the ash fell off the stick, landing on the cold grassy floor. The cold wind blew but neither of us seemed affected by it. The silence was comfortable and for a moment, I didn’t feel the constant worry and agony that was ever so present in my soul. “You’re a good father for Shade.”
“I wish I could be better.” Blaze sighed. Unlike Rain, most of Blaze's skills are specialized for combat. Other than being there for him emotionally, there was nothing else that Blaze can do. That’s why Blaze could imagine how Arc is currently feeling.
The two of them stood in silence, watching the dark clouds drift by. A single snowflake drifted down the sky, inching closer and closer to me until it touches the tip of my nose. My nose twitched at the coolness of it. Little white dots started to drift down from the otherwise dark sky. It was snowing. The simply frozen water brought some life back to the pack as kids started emerging from their house, ignorant to the heavy matters that made the parents unwillingly trudge out.
I snuffed out the remainder of the cigarette. Alpha can’t be a bad example to his pack. Blaze did the same.
“Hopefully next Christmas, we can celebrate it as a family.” Blaze said with a wistful look in his eyes. Without waiting for a reply, he headed back into the house. I stayed a while longer, renewing my determination with the sounds of joyful kids, wishing me and Shade had our own.
Hopefully, next year.
