E L I X I R

The familiar building filled with coffee scent and conversations greets me as soon as I open the door of the radio station, and immediately I am welcomed by Mr Harrison, the security man who has been working at the radio station for years, and despite his wide frame and constantly furrows brows, a 45-year-old man still remains a sweetheart, and treats all of us as his own children.

He is the one who really helped me to get acquainted with the new environment when I appeared on the threshold of the radio station as an 18-year-old teen looking for a job. I was so scared to communicate, this fact can sound absolutely strange with my current work position, but Mr Harrison with his sense of humour and cup of tea after every broadcast, made me feel father’s love in some way, despite the fact that this feeling was absolutely unknown for me.

“Good morning, Mr Harrison! How are you today?” I try to put some positive notes in my words, but I fail. Being a radio host of a morning show for years still can’t get along with my sleeping habits.

“Morning, Vivian. Have you had breakfast today, or as usual, you have only coffee in you?” Even though most of the time he speaks like my mum, I appreciate it. He always cares about everyone who works here, even Kit, who can piss off every living person with his impossible orders.

“You can see the coffee cup in my hand, so can you guess the answer?” I shake a paper cup in my hand slightly trying not to pour the liquid out of it. My washing machine can die soon with the amount of clothing I accidentally put dirt on. And the cup in my hand appeared only because of the coffee shop down the street, otherwise, I’d just listen to the lecture about the importance of having breakfast and a healthy lifestyle.

“You’re unbelievable,” the old man groans desperately rolling his eyes at me. How many times did I hear this phrase?

“I know, I know. Shit, I’m almost late, I need to hurry, see you soon!” I rush to a maze of hallways to find a needed door. The sound of my steps reflects from the endless walls capturing the space and mixing with the sound of my pounding heart, which runs faster than an F1 car.

“Good luck!” It is the last words I hear as I enter the studio.

Connor, the best colleague is already here, so I can’t wait to hear the new portion of gossips which he heard in the previous 14 hours while we were apart. We have a bunch of listeners who ship us together and think that we are an undercover couple. That is the truth. But in a parallel universe, perhaps?

But truth to be told, he is one of my closest friends and the first one I met here, in the studio. Don’t get me wrong he is handsome with fantastic style and funny as hell, but he is not my type. He is only two years older than me, but that fact doesn’t stop him to act childish, which usually makes people question his actual age. Literally, he is like an older brother to me who I haven’t had, he’s great supporter since I moved to London.

“Hi, Viv! Have you seen the theme of our broadcast? Have you seen it? We have a drive time broadcast and with this conversation, all listeners just will fall asleep!” Usually, he’s less nervous and doesn’t really care about the theme, he just talks and usually without a filter at all, and there were countless situations when he had a “talk” with our management team, but increasing analytics are the only thing that keeps him from being fired. As well as his Irish accent that saves even horrible situations.

“I also really pleased to see you, Con. No, I haven’t, why are you so stressed about it? You never had problems with it.” I say, taking the bite of pizza. I didn’t have breakfast today, but pizza can be an option. Thanks to the studio assistants I haven’t died from starvation, yet.

“Sorry, Viv. I had an argument with Alice this morning and it was the worst that we have ever had,” he sighs rubbing the bridge of his nose. Alice, his fiancée, is the kindest and prettiest person that I have ever met. They met at a music festival 2 years ago, and since then I am constantly third-wheeling, but if they are happy, then happy I am.

“What was it about? Wedding? I have told you a million times if you need some help, I am one call away and will help you no matter what.” I groan because I have lost count of how many times I pronounced these words. I am the greatest shipper of them since they’ve met for the first time, so I want to help them as much as I can. Especially, knowing how hard organizing a wedding can be. Not from personal experience, but series and films help to create such an assumption.

I can’t deny, they look so good together. Alice and Connor look like a Disney couple and I told them that once. Connor thinks they’re like Ferdinand and Cinderella, but I think they are more like Belle and Prince Adam, from ‘Beauty and the Beast’. Sometimes I can get really jealous around them, in a good way, because usually, they are in their soft bubble of love, happiness, and understanding, you literally can feel the warmth they radiate. There comes jealousy with understanding the fact that I always will be on my own, completely alone, but at least I can see clearly, and love will not blur my vision.

Well, love did exist in my life at some point, but it still takes my time recovering from it. Love is blind, and it makes you blind as well. Perhaps, I’m so sceptic about this judging from my experience that didn’t end up well. But, love can hurt all of us at some point. More or less - that’s just a matter of time.

“Yes. No. Um... It was because of her dad and you know how he treats me, so I asked Alice not to invite her father to our wedding.” He stutters, and as soon as my brain processes his phrase I roll my eyes at him crossing my arms on my chest.

What have I told about his absurdity? So, here it is. I really wish their kids to inherit Alice’s feeling of sense and intelligence. Otherwise, it would be hard to them live under one roof.

“What? Don’t tell me that you’re serious?” I know that Alice’s dad and Connor don’t communicate well, especially after they met for the first time and Connor was unbelievably nervous, so he told something extremely foolish, as I remember it was something like “If Alice and I get married, I’m sure that you will the best father-in-law, as your daughter is the best in bed”. As he told me that I realized what vicarious shame is in practice.

“Yes, because it is my wedding too and I want to feel comfortable at my own damn wedding!” He is overreacting for a bit, but he has the right to behave that way because the wedding preparation is a hard thing to handle, even though it sounds selfish.

“I know, but don’t you think it is a little bit selfish? He is the main part of her family; he is her greatest supporter and his DNA is in her blood. And how you imagine her saying “Hey dad, I love you so much, but you can’t attend the wedding of your only daughter because my fiancé is stupid as hell and doesn’t feel comfortable at our wedding?” I raise my brow to make a point. Perhaps, it can help him to change his mind, and come up with a better idea. “When I vocalize it, why does it sounds even more horrible?”

“I just don’t know what to do.” He looks so upset, but he is the first one who started this. He really needed to watch his mouth back then, if I was Alice, I’d slap him, but surprisingly she just laughed. Well, at least that is what I was told, but I have no right to interfere.

“Just relax and try to make up with him. You’re two adults. And you have a beautiful link between you two now, I mean Alice, so just do it for her and it will be a fantastic present for your wedding. I mean to make up with him.” Seriously, it is childish, Connor needs to grow the balls and should have a talk with him because their family life can end at the beginning. Without any doubt, I can be a little bit harsh, but it’s better to solve all conflicts before you start married life.

Well, they live together for a long time, and marriage can be a formality to them, but still, it’s a considerably serious decision - one way or another.

“Hey, Vivian, Connor, the broadcast begins in 2 minutes.” Kit, the program director, exclaims rushing out of the studio.

“So, let’s see how bad today’s theme is,” a chuckle leaves my lips when I take a seat behind my microphone and put the headphones on.

“It wasn’t that bad,” I confess and take a sip of my coffee. Drinking coffee too often and this amount can be unhealthy, but I don’t know how to deal with it and I love cappuccino pretty much to quit. The real problems could start when I’d start drinking usual black coffee without any additions - I’d probably become the most common guest at the cardiologist.

We are in the studio kitchen which is connected with the lounge and it is really come in handy, especially when you have been hosting the morning show for 2 hours. It’s not that much, it still can be tiresome, though. Especially, when absolutely confusing guest appears in our studio.

“It could be better if invited guest knew about his own music. How he could say “Uh... my new stupid song is about the hurtful heartbreak” when this damn song was clearly about making up and was full of love?” I really don’t know what happened with our management team and why they decided to invite Mason Scott. I know who he is, I like a couple of his songs and our listeners also. Don’t get me wrong, he has a beautiful voice, but intelligence isn’t his advantage. I honestly admire people who write songs they sing, not some team that absolutely unknown to you and doesn’t know your true self to express your position or opinion through the lyrics.

“It was cruel, but I agree. His knowledge level wasn’t higher than yours when you met Alice’s dad for the first time,” the corner of my lips lifts in a smirk. I guess that topic will be the source of my sarcasm and jokes towards him till the end of our lives.

“Just don’t remind.” He sounds annoyed.

“All I’m asking about, please, make up with Alice’s dad.” I give him a side hug. “At the end of the day, it will be better for you.” Maybe he is suffering from my sarcasm and sassiness towards him, but I love him dearly and I don’t have anybody this close in this enormous city, even though I know him only for four years, I have a feeling that he is my brother who knows me since birth.

“I promise,” he whispers wrapping his arms around my shoulders. The difference in height allows him to do so because from the side he looks like a giant compared to me.

“Pinky promise?” I ask stepping away from him to put on my denim jacket. We all know that stereotypes about the weather in London, but I love it. Really. Today is one of those days in the year when the sun is shining bright and the streets are a bit windy. Like that perfect scene from the film. But my life is too far from the film.

“Vivian, where are we? In kindergarten? God, you’re a 22-year-old adult,” he chuckles.

“It doesn’t matter until you promise me to do it.” Yes, I agree maybe it was a little bit immature, but it is a part of me, so no judgement. “Or you’re not my friend anymore.” Now I just have reached the highest level of immaturity. Well, all of us are kids inside no matter what point of age we hit.

“Okay, pinky promise,” he reaches my hand with his to wrap his pinky finger around mine.

As soon as I say goodbye to Connor, I walk out of the building and stop right on the edge of the pavement to catch a taxi and go home. A couple of cars goes by me, but a few minutes later a famous black cab stops right in front of me. The glass building of the radio station is getting smaller with every driven meter until it completely disappears around the corner.

This day hasn’t been that bad, but still, I have a lot of work to do at home. We’re lucky to have only a couple of hours shift, but this promotion works only today. Kit gave me a lot to think about, as well as to write. As usual, I need to be fully prepared for tomorrow show and do research about our future guests. Asking questions that haven’t ever been uttered out loud, but keeping them civil and appropriate, is the best way to engage the audience and the interlocutor.

As I reach my floor and notice a guy at the opposite door. I haven’t seen him before, though. The black t-shirt is wrapped tight around his body defining and outlining his abs. The denim shirt is sitting loose on his upper body, but the sleeves are rolled up for a bit revealing the black patterns on his wrists. I’m able to see just a part of his tattoos, but that doesn’t forbid me to admit how black ink suit his energy and personality. He looks like one of the boyband members we usually invite to the studio, but more like down to earth version. My sight catches his jawline which stands out with sharpness. He looks handsome, I can’t deny it.

Maybe he is one of the Millie′s friends? No, we have lots of common friends and if he is one of them, I′ll obviously recognize him. Although he looks like fucking model, he still remains a stranger to me.

So, I quickly write to Millie to clarify the situation. Maybe she just broke up with Ethan and this guy is one of her admirers, which is not likely, because he is standing with a couple of bags, maybe he is his cousin or one of her relatives who came to London and needs a place to stay?

Vivian: Hey Millie, how are you? I don′t want to bother you but there is some handsome guy near your apartment and WHY THE FUCK AND HOW HE ENTERED YOUR FLAT? I CALL THE POLICE!

I’m over-reacting, but I don’t know what to do in a situation like this.

Millie: Hey, don′t call the police. It must be Timothy and he is your new neighbour. I didn’t think that he’s your type.

Vivian: Okay... Wait, have you just said MY NEW NEIGHBOUR? P.S. He’s not my type, at least from what I saw.

Millie: Do you remember the scholarship I told you about? In New York, the writing program? So, I was accepted, and I needed to find a new renter to avoid the speeches of Mrs Dickson. I swear this woman is a devil. So, it is why Timothy is here.

From the bottom of my heart, I’m happy for her, but that gave me a possibility to understand the fact of how absent I can be in lives of my closest friends because of my job and hobbies. Writing takes a lot of my free time, sometimes leaving me without a spare minute for my socialization. But when ideas are flowing out of my mind like Niagara Falls, it would be irresponsible of me not to write them down.

Vivian: I′m really happy for you but why he is here now? You need to pack your things and where will you live until your departure?

Millie: My flight is in two days, so I already packed my things and I will stay in Ethan′s until then. Louis is one of Ethan′s best friends and he was looking for a new apartment, so here we are.

Vivian: Why you didn’t tell me? You are my best friend, why I am the last to know about it?

Millie: I′m really sorry, Viv. It was in hurry and I was so overwhelmed. When you come to New York, I’ll buy you a drink.

As it would save the situation.

Vivian: Don′t worry about it, I understand. Just don′t forget to call and write. Love you.

Millie: Sure, pinky promise. Love you too.

So, my best friend will be on the other side of the ocean in two days, now she will stay with her boyfriend, Ethan, and my new neighbour, who looks like he came from the cover of a fashion magazine, is Timothy. Superb.

Shaking my head, I hide my phone in the pocket and try to fish out the keys. I enter my flat, leave my jacket on the hanger and decide to grab something to eat. I sashay my way through the room as the thought about loneliness engulfs my mind. It happens from time to time, but the longer I live here alone, the lonelier it can get.

Perhaps, thought about adopting a cat isn’t that bad?

The kitchen greets me with a coffee aroma from the opened bag that I forgot to put back in its place when I was hurrying to the studio this morning. I overslept and I didn’t leave myself a type to recharge a coffee machine and make myself a cup, so I wouldn’t buy myself one on the way to work. After putting everything in place and wiping the counter, I finally get to the fridge trying to find there something that will satisfy my needs, but I can’t, so delivery is the best choice for today. Or it’s a sign to go and buy some groceries. As I grab my phone, I hear somebody knocking on my door and rush to open it.

As I open the door, everything becomes blue. That reminds me of Halsey’s song. Everything is blue. Literally.

Shit, why his eye colour is so vibrant? I haven′t seen this shade of blue before. Maybe it will sound cliche, but I′m ready to drown in these eyes, besides I already did.

“You know that staring is rude. Especially when you meet a person for the first time.” The corner of his lips lifts in a smirk. “But it seems to be your habit.” God, is he implying the moment when I saw him at the door a few minutes ago? I didn’t stare at him. I didn’t. No.

He is handsome, but his self-esteem is higher than Burj Khalifa. Or he is just the stepbrother of Kanye West. Everything is possible.

“Hello darling, I’m Timothy, Millie must have told you that I’m your new neighbour,” he says and a smile appeared on his face. He leans on the door frame crossing his arms on the chest, which instantly draws my attention. His outfit changed since the last time I saw him, and how I have had an opportunity to inspect patterns on his arms.

He can be an asshole with high self-esteem, but his smile can light the room.

“Hi, I’m Vivian. Nice to meet ya.” I can’t help but smile. I stretch my hand for him to shake, but Timothy just looks at it and the smirk adorns his lips before he finally shakes it. This is probably the banalest conversation that can take place between new neighbours.

“Maybe we could hang out sometime?” His offer bewilders me, probably making my eyes pop out of theirs sockets. Is he serious? I know him for a few minutes and he just has invited me to spend an evening with him. “As neighbours, for sure.” Jesus, this guy almost give me a heart attack.

“Sorry, but maybe next time?” I reply but doesn’t sound like I have put all my confidence into my words. The whole situation is extremely awkward, and, Jesus Christ, I sound like a teenage girl who has a conversation with her crush for the first time, and her flirt attempt doesn’t end up good.

“Don’t worry, darling. But I don’t ask you for a date, as you already have imagined.” He says with a smirk, and it gives me enough time to state that he will be a pain in the ass.