Still Thinking of title

The lush blades of the lea tickle

As the Lord brags his good mood

The flowers still till they turn fickle

Whooping wind whizzes, wholly wooed

Gone away to heights never touched

For man is small, and the world is much

But man is satiated through his various gifts

A pasture, sweet food, and sweet myths

Having hope for love, for kids for a kiss

Make the heavens above the place you live

Furnish your domain, encompass your sphere

Do what you can, for its easy while alive

To forget that small comforts are needed to thrive

Protect all that is yours, protect all that is dear

For at midnight the pasture is but a jeer

And that poor Nathaniel saw in his head

As he wrung down against the setting Sun

Till he felt the walls crumble in his bed

The race finished he could no longer run

Just like night each time reality had won

But what can he do except dutifully accept

Wail to the skies and pound on his chest

To unanswered calls that spun not even a bell

He wasn’t even sure if anything was on the other end

Nothing seemed truer, than grace or hell

So like the puppet he felt Nathaniel left his door

Ready to enter the building of purgatory

Which was none but a monster that ate sand

From the fragile hour glass he counted on

As he awaited struggling with opened hands

Trying to catch what he could by staring upon

All that was around him and his eyes

To see the others in all their guise

As they pretended to be okay with all he couldn’t

How can one accept to live a hell, he shouldn’t

The idea was foolish for Nathaniel thought that

By acknowledging his foe and fighting through his woe

He was his own ruler

And not a speck on the Lords

Wide everlasting canvas of life

That through immense strife

The right direction he would go towards

Away from the abyss which had always threatened him

For his fear was chiefly the very reason

He felt it sound to continue on his path

For life no matter what is better than feeling

An endless hole filled with eternal wrath

And the creator of it all didn’t interest him

For whatever did is a cruel thing

And as long as Nathaniel could dangle over the brim

He could avoid everything, even if nothing

Was seldom pleasurable and a bleak fate

But it’s easier to ignore then feel

So Nathaniel’s life seemingly continued at this rate

As he sat glum seeing those around who were real

They erupted as the cheers of youth rung his ears

He felt his burden and fall through his tears

The boys looked at the girls, the girls the boys

Nathaniel stared out the window with no reflection

Even his shadow had gone to chase joys

The deluded pompous seemed closer to perfection

At least their imagination was seen through their eyes

The monster inside him heaved its chest

Awakening his body, constricting his breath

He picked up his pen and drowned in the ink

“Love me world, love me as I wish to love you

Hold me Lord, hold me as I wish to hold you.”

The kids continued their lively hilarity

And as irrational as it was, he couldn’t help but think

They directed it at him, even as charity

For the knowing is a beggar and even his blinks

Cannot hide from the truth no longer

“You are nothing but an idea created by

Visionaries who see nothing but have everything,

I have seen it all and the sight has left me empty

But I know there is more, your evil has no bounds

You have no right, even without existence you rule

A mere concept that keeps the world as his garden

Unkept full of venomous thorns and overgrown weeds.”

The world deserves better, the world does not deserve better

How can it be the world’s fault, anything alone is wild

Even the wild uses likeness to come together

Somehow a beast given life has been defiled

A tempestuous battle was occurring in Nathaniel’s skull

He felt the constrains of his mind stretching

Till seated in his chair he felt a moment of lull

Light glistened through the bars of the wall

And his pasture flew to his mind wiping all

Warmth soaked into him and wrapped its arms

Around his light shoulders, the air became free

His bare feet welcomed the known grass

All was finally okay and he wished he could end

As like every other time this would pass

His wretched self would have a steep descent

And the memory of bliss would make it all the worse

For you cannot lose if you have none, but right now

Nathaniel was above the heavens and a curse

Is signed by such a thing but a curse is signed

And furthered with each and every breath

As life and misery are twined as one

With the only cure being death, but kid not

Into thinking it is a noble thing, the world

Needs no praise for offering naught another way

You are shunned in life and shunned if you throw it away

Man needs not scripture man needs not words

They think a mere concept is enough but how is belief

Not the same as delusion, and how can grief

Be evaded in such a fashion when it is felt

In each wake moment until time is dealt

And you are mere dust exploited by future dust

Dust, dust dust. From the start you are eroded

Chipped away until you change into rust

Must, trust, thrust, perceptually unjust

No more, your villainy will be taken no more

“I know I am nothing, but I will not bow any longer

For I have seen the end and I am not deserving

Oh woe, your three-part form should be the same three

We use to call the creator and his unnerving

Rule which is called a gift to be a leaf from a tree

Which roots are stained by the most evil

That is transferred to each because we are offspring

Who have a father vile and cruel given eternal rule

Over us soldiers, over us fodder to the soil.

I will not give in to wicked tyranny

As long as that idea stays as firm as it is now

I will search for gold in a pile of sliver, with no irony

For even a gilded meaning is enough.”

He dropped to his knees as his head met natures cushion

“Oh life as I lay in your purest form a lone grain

In your endless vastness, please accept me for I have none else.”

The wind whooshed, and Nathaniel knew of his answer

He stared up into the sky each atom completely satisfied

Until an entirely grotesque sound forayed his ears

Repeating twice, as Nathaniel left inside

Stepping back to allow a scum to drive past

For he awoke in the middle of the road, his school passed

As a creature suddenly appeared in his way

But angel would be the suitable term, as beauty was

A lie until he saw the moon shine in the day

With flowing hair and lips that pleased him

Without enactment, without voice

The world stopped as it had no choice

As life had only just begun.