PART 1
The lush blades of the lea tickle
As the Lord brags his good mood
The flowers still till they turn fickle
Whooping wind whizzes, wholly wooed
Gone away to heights never touched
For man is small, and the world is much
But man is satiated through his various gifts
A pasture, sweet food, and sweet myths
Having hope for love, for kids for a kiss
Make the heavens above the place you live
Furnish your domain, encompass your sphere
Do what you can, for its easy while alive
To forget that small comforts are needed to thrive
Protect all that is yours, protect all that is dear
For at midnight the pasture is but a jeer
And that poor Nathaniel saw in his head
As he wrung down against the setting Sun
Till he felt the walls crumble in his bed
The race finished he could no longer run
Just like night each time reality had won
But what can he do except dutifully accept
Wail to the skies and pound on his chest
To unanswered calls that spun not even a bell
He wasn’t even sure if anything was on the other end
Nothing seemed truer, than grace or hell
So like the puppet he felt Nathaniel left his door
Ready to enter the building of purgatory
Which was none but a monster that ate sand
From the fragile hour glass he counted on
As he awaited struggling with opened hands
Trying to catch what he could by staring upon
All that was around him and his eyes
To see the others in all their guise
As they pretended to be okay with all he couldn’t
How can one accept to live a hell, he shouldn’t
The idea was foolish for Nathaniel thought that
By acknowledging his foe and fighting through his woe
He was his own ruler
And not a speck on the Lords
Wide everlasting canvas of life
That through immense strife
The right direction he would go towards
Away from the abyss which had always threatened him
For his fear was chiefly the very reason
He felt it sound to continue on his path
For life no matter what is better than feeling
An endless hole filled with eternal wrath
And the creator of it all didn’t interest him
For whatever did is a cruel thing
And as long as Nathaniel could dangle over the brim
He could avoid everything, even if nothing
Was seldom pleasurable and a bleak fate
But it’s easier to ignore then feel
So Nathaniel’s life seemingly continued at this rate
As he sat glum seeing those around who were real
They erupted as the cheers of youth rung his ears
He felt his burden and fall through his tears
The boys looked at the girls, the girls the boys
Nathaniel stared out the window with no reflection
Even his shadow had gone to chase joys
The deluded pompous seemed closer to perfection
At least their imagination was seen through their eyes
The monster inside him heaved its chest
Awakening his body, constricting his breath
He picked up his pen and drowned in the ink
“Love me world, love me as I wish to love you
Hold me Lord, hold me as I wish to hold you.”
The kids continued their lively hilarity
And as irrational as it was, he couldn’t help but think
They directed it at him, even as charity
For the knowing is a beggar and even his blinks
Cannot hide from the truth no longer
“You are nothing but an idea created by
Visionaries who see nothing but have everything,
I have seen it all and the sight has left me empty
But I know there is more, your evil has no bounds
You have no right, even without existence you rule
A mere concept that keeps the world as his garden
Unkept full of venomous thorns and overgrown weeds.”
The world deserves better, the world does not deserve better
How can it be the world’s fault, anything alone is wild
Even the wild uses likeness to come together
Somehow a beast given life has been defiled
A tempestuous battle was occurring in Nathaniel’s skull
He felt the constrains of his mind stretching
Till seated in his chair he felt a moment of lull
Light glistened through the bars of the wall
And his pasture flew to his mind wiping all
Warmth soaked into him and wrapped its arms
Around his light shoulders, the air became free
His bare feet welcomed the known grass
All was finally okay and he wished he could end
As like every other time this would pass
His wretched self would have a steep descent
And the memory of bliss would make it all the worse
For you cannot lose if you have none, but right now
Nathaniel was above the heavens and a curse
Is signed by such a thing but a curse is signed
And furthered with each and every breath
As life and misery are twined as one
With the only cure being death, but kid not
Into thinking it is a noble thing, the world
Needs no praise for offering naught another way
You are shunned in life and shunned if you throw it away
Man needs not scripture man needs not words
They think a mere concept is enough but how is belief
Not the same as delusion, and how can grief
Be evaded in such a fashion when it is felt
In each wake moment until time is dealt
And you are mere dust exploited by future dust
Dust, dust dust. From the start you are eroded
Chipped away until you change into rust
Must, trust, thrust, perceptually unjust
No more, your villainy will be taken no more
“I know I am nothing, but I will not bow any longer
For I have seen the end and I am not deserving
Oh woe, your three-part form should be the same three
We use to call the creator and his unnerving
Rule which is called a gift to be a leaf from a tree
Which roots are stained by the most evil
That is transferred to each because we are offspring
Who have a father vile and cruel given eternal rule
Over us soldiers, over us fodder to the soil.
I will not give in to wicked tyranny
As long as that idea stays as firm as it is now
I will search for gold in a pile of sliver, with no irony
For even a gilded meaning is enough.”
He dropped to his knees as his head met natures cushion
“Oh life as I lay in your purest form a lone grain
In your endless vastness, please accept me for I have none else.”
The wind whooshed, and Nathaniel knew of his answer
He stared up into the sky each atom completely satisfied
Until an entirely grotesque sound forayed his ears
Repeating twice, as Nathaniel left inside
Stepping back to allow a scum to drive past
For he awoke in the middle of the road, his school passed
As a creature suddenly appeared in his way
But angel would be the suitable term, as beauty was
A lie until he saw the moon shine in the day
With flowing hair and lips that pleased him
Without enactment, without voice
The world stopped as it had no choice
As life had only just begun.
