Angel Dust
Graham
“Check it again!” I demanded.
“B-but, sir. We checked eight times. It’s not there.”
“I don’t give a good got damn how many times you checked. All I know is that my luggage was supposed to board that plane with me and get off with me. And for some odd reason, everyone and their fucking mothers have their suitcases except me. Please explain to me how that happens?!” I snapped.
“I-I don’t know, sir, but we’re doing the best we can to find it.”
“If this is your best, then I hate to see what your worst is. Tell me what happens when my luggage doesn’t magically materialize in front of your eyes in the next ten minutes. What’s the protocol? Do y’all even know at which point my luggage was lost? Is it still in fucking Japan? Is it in LA? Huh?!”
I heavily sighed when the customer service representative began crying.
“Ma’am, you might as well dry up those tears unless they’re magical tears that are gonna find my luggage.”
“I’m sorry. In the instance that we don’t find your luggage, we will cover the missing items.”
“So, you’re telling me that your airline is going to cover over $30,000.00 worth of clothes, shoes, and jewelry, on top of the suitcase that cost well over a grand?”
“Um...we offer $100.00 per day your luggage is missing.”
“Oh, that’s lovely. In a week, I’ll have enough to buy a pair of shoes,” I drawled. “So, I’m assuming in the meantime, I’m expected to run all over the city of New York and buy an entire wardrobe to sustain me while I’m here?”
“I wouldn’t say you have to travel all over New York. New York City has shopping at just about every corner you turn.”
I raised an eyebrow at the mousy woman causing her to snap her mouth shut.
“It’s inconvenient. I traveled a total of 22 hours. All I wanted to do was gather my suitcase, check into my penthouse, shower, eat, and pass the fuck out. I have an important business meeting tomorrow afternoon that I should be prepping for, but instead, I have to replace my wardrobe.”
“I’m sorry for the inconvenience, sir, but at this point, we’ve reached an impasse. Your luggage has not been located, and yelling at me is not going to change that.”
“My luggage can’t be found because your baggage handler buddies probably pulled it to the side, rifled through it, and stole my belongings.”
“I highly doubt that’s the case.”
“You know what? I hope that is the case. I’d sleep better at night knowing someone has an eye for good taste and stole my shit rather than being too incompetent to read a tag,” I spat. “I’m not even going to bother asking for a manager because, just my luck, you are the manager.”
“I-I am.”
“Figures,” I clipped.
“Can you please fill out the contact form so that we may notify you when your luggage is located?” she asked, sliding a pen and paper to me.
“You mean IF my luggage is located.”
***
“Fuck my life,” I sighed as I stood waiting for a taxi to arrive.
This trip was already proving to be a fucking disaster, and it had barely started.
“Get it together, Graham. It’s just one meeting, and then you’re free for an entire week. The worst thing that could happen has already happened,” I reassured myself.
I finally managed to get a taxi and decided to rest my eyes and meditate. My mother told me that my anger issues were the reason why I would die alone. I honestly didn’t mind being alone. It was easy being alone. There was no one to disappoint or cause you sadness and pain. I only desired to be responsible for myself, and if I were in a relationship, I would spend my days constantly apologizing for my outbursts or harsh words. I rather not.
“We have arrived at the Four Seasons. I hope you enjoy your stay,” the taxi driver announced.
I offered a gruff thank you and passed him a tip before exiting the cab sans suitcase.
At least I’ll be able to relax in the Ty Warner Suite I reserved.
“Good evening, and welcome to the Four Seasons. My name is Lisa. How may I help you?”
“Checking in.”
“Name?”
“Graham Preston.”
“One moment please,” the woman said as she typed away at the computer.
“Angel reporting for duty!” a woman squealed, causing me to jump and clutch my chest.
“Jesus Christ. What the fuck is wrong with you?” I snarled.
“Nothing is wrong with me. I’m running at 100% and ready to serve!”
“Yeah, serve me to the got damn morgue. You almost gave me a fucking heart attack!” I directed my anger towards Lisa. “Y’all need to put a fucking bell on this one,” I sneered.
“She’s very enthusiastic about her job,” Lisa replied with a tight-lipped smile.
“Enthusiastic? She needs to be drug tested. What’s your name again, sweetheart?”
“Angel,” she gushed with a radiant smile.
“I’m convinced you were named after the dust,” I snorted.
“I don’t know what that is, but I’m pretty sure I was named Angel because I was a gift from above. At least that’s what my parents tell me,” she giggled.
“You keep believing that.”
“I will until the day I leave this earth,” she replied with a satisfied nod.
Anyway...
“My room. Is it ready?”
“Ummmm.”
“That ummmm better be you fucking meditating and not you telling me that my suite isn’t available,” I growled.
“We seem to have a double booking issue,” Lisa admitted.
“Until when?”
“Until next Sunday.”
“Okay. Explain to me what’s the point of making a got damn reservation if the shit’s not even available?”
“It’s our mistake. I apologize. I can put you in our King City View suite, and I will comp you for half your stay and room service.”
At this point, I was done and willing to take anything as long as I could lay down.
“I guess.”
I turned to my right to find Angel stuck to my side like glue.
“Woman, what the hell is wrong with you? Back the fuck up...shit. What are you trying to do? Pickpocket me?”
“Goodness no! That happened to me once. I was sad at first, especially since I had a week’s worth of tips in there, as well as my Social Security card. Whoever took it opened up a whole bunch of credit cards in my name. It took forever and a day to clear it up. But at the end of the day, I realized that whoever stole my wallet obviously needed it more than me,” she replied with a smile.
“I get what this is. Your hotel believes in equal opportunities, which it should, and y’all embrace hiring people with special needs. Good for y’all.”
“Mr. Preston, please refrain from being rude to our staff!” Lisa snapped.
“It’s okay, Lisa!” Angel piped up. “I’m sure he meant it in a good way. I am special, and I do have needs. Like right now, I need to take your belongings and usher you to the elevator.”
“That won’t be necessary. I only have one bag,” I drawled, showing off my laptop bag.
“Where’s your luggage?”
“Someone needed it more than me,” I huffed.
“Awwww, how generous of you,” Angel cooed.
Bless her heart.
“No worries! You’ll be my easiest guest of the day,” she giggled, grabbing the keycard from Lisa and snatching my bag out of my hand.
“Hey! Give that back!”
“No can do! You won’t have to carry a single thing while I’m here!” she exclaimed, marching towards the elevator.
I heavily sighed and dragged my weary body behind Angel. We arrived at the elevator, and I finally took Angel in. She wore the standard red and gold embellished bellhop uniform with a matching hat on top of a headful of curls. From the fit of her uniform, I could tell that she had a nice body. What a shame. I’d try to fuck her if she wasn’t so damn annoying and didn’t giggle like a fucking toddler. I didn’t mind being called Daddy every once in a while, but I was not into that DDLG shit. I groaned out loud when my eyes stopped at her shoes.
“What...the...hell...are those?”
“What?”
“On your feet?”
“My shoes? What’s wrong with them? They’re my absolute fave!”
“The gold star studs make them gaudy and unpleasant to my eyes. Do yourself a favor and get rid of them as soon as possible.”
“What?! Guests love my shoes! I get compliments all the time!”
“I’m sorry to inform you, but they lied.”
“What’s your name?” Angel suddenly asked.
“Graham,” I gruffly replied.
“You’re a little grumpy, Graham. I would call you Grumpy Graham, but I’m willing to bet my favorite pair of shoes that there is some softness under there.”
“Hand over the shoes.”
“Nope. I have a nickname for you. Do you want to hear it?” Angel asked with a sly smile.
“If I say no, will you tell me anyway?”
“Yup!”
“Knock yourself out.”
“Teddy Graham!” she shrieked.
“Yeah, let’s not do that.”
“I think it’s adorable. Now come up with a nickname for me.”
“Angel Dust.”
“I love it. It suits me so well, and it makes me feel like Tinkerbell, leaving my positivity everywhere I go, like fairy dust.”
I was about to correct her and tell her what I really thought when a couple with one of those hairless cats began feverishly making out in front of us.
“Ms. Lewis?” Angel repeatedly asked, trying to get the woman’s attention. Her partner was attempting to choke her with his tongue, and you didn’t have to wonder how she became pregnant.
Shit, I need to cover Angel’s eyes or something because the couple’s behavior is definitely above PG.
“Get a fucking room!” I barked.
“I think that’s their intention,” Angel giggled. “On you go, you two lovebirds!” she squealed, sliding her keycard into the elevator, allowing the doors to close behind them.
“Why did you let them go? Now we’re going to have to wait for the next elevator!”
“They seemed to need their privacy.”
“I pray their room isn’t next to mine,” I scoffed.
“Oh, you don’t have to worry. They’re in the Ty Warner Suite,” she grinned.
This is some bullshit.
“Don’t worry, Mr. Preston. You’ll love your suite. I stayed in there a couple of times myself when I won employee of the month.”
“Let me guess. You’re employee of the month every month.”
“Just about! They had to stop giving it to me because other people complained, but it’s not my fault I’m awesome. I had an amazing time.”
“Did you have an orgy or something?”
Angel gasped, and it was her turn to clutch her chest.
“I-I’ve never heard of such a thing. Is that when you get together with your friends and make origami?”
My eyes widened in shock.
I said it once, but I’ll say it again. Bless her fucking heart.
I was convinced this woman was dropped on her head down a flight of stairs, and she managed to hit every single one of those motherfuckers on the way down. How had she made it this far in life? Especially in New York. I bet scammers had her phone number on speed dial.
The elevator arrived again, and I took pleasure in knowing that I was less than two minutes away from the quietness of my hotel suite.
Angel lowly bowed, allowing me to enter the elevator before her. I rolled my eyes and boarded the elevator. I went to reach for the button for the tenth floor when Angel flipped her lid.
“Aht! Aht!”
I swiftly pulled my hand back like a sneaky child who was caught stealing one too many cookies from the cookie jar.
“Only I get to touch the buttons,” Angel huffed, putting me in my place.
“My bad,” I mumbled.
The elevator ascended and lurched to a stop between the fifth and sixth floor, causing us to grab the railings attached to the wall.
“Oh dear,” Angel pitifully moaned as she repeatedly pressed the button for the tenth floor.
“Please tell me we’re not stuck,” I pleaded.
“We’re stuck,” Angel quickly replied.
“I told you NOT to tell me we’re stuck!” I spat.
“I apologize. Is this a bad time to tell you that the emergency call button isn’t working either?”
I whipped out my phone and groaned when I noticed I didn’t have any bars. I’m didn’t bother asking Angel if she had any service. She probably had one of those phones children have that can only be programmed with three numbers.
I thought missing my luggage and getting shafted by hotel management was the worst thing that could happen on this trip. I was wrong. Being stuck with a pre-teen girl in a grown woman’s body for God knows how long just topped the fucking cake.
