A Great Night

Carl stared Leanne down. The woman was stunning, but that wasn’t why he was staring. She brushed her long brown hair out of her eyes, over one of her slender shoulders. No, it wasn’t the fact that she was breathtaking that did him in - it was the fact that he knew her. He wasn’t sure where he knew her from, but the gentle curve of her smile, how her blue eyes sparkled when she looked at him.

“I know you, don’t I?”

At that, she laughed. A low, melodious, warm sound. Before she spoke, he knew. She wasn’t just some random passerby that he had seen before either; she was someone who had once meant a lot to him.

At that, she laughed, a low, melodious sound. It was warm and before she spoke, he knew. She wasn’t just some random passerby that he’d seen before. She was someone who’d meant a lot to him once.

“Oh…”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

Leanne had been called Luke the last time they spoke. Luke and Carl had dated for around nine months and had broken up pretty amicably, even so, the memory stung. Carl hadn’t dated in high school and Luke, in the last year of college, was his first actual boyfriend, or at least one where he’d been an out and proud bisexual.

“I didn’t recognize you at first. But how could I miss those eyes…”

“Probably the breasts distracting you,” she teased, eyes shining. “Those are new. It wasn’t long after we parted ways I figured out a thing or two about myself. Actually, um, it’s sort of the reason that I broke up with you.”

“I thought it was your new job.”

She laughed a little at that, a blush coloring her cheeks a little bit redder. It was a good look on her.

It surprised him, of course, but he didn’t feel a bit of judgement. As much as he and his ex-boyfriend had gotten along, as sweet as their relationship had once been, there had been something uncomfortable in the man; this woman was anything but uncomfortable. She was flourishing and he could see it in her eyes.

“You look amazing,” Carl said sincerely. “It’s great to see you again. It’s been so long.”

“You too,” she breathed. “You know, Carl, I always hoped we’d meet up again. I wanted to thank you.”

“Thank me?” Carl asked. “What for?”

“For being you.”

Carl looked over at the bar area, away from the dance floor. The music was drowning out her words and making it so that he had to read her lips. He gestured with his head.

“Want to see if it’s a little less crowded down there?”

She nodded and they walked that way. Immediately, the noise dulled a little, enough for the pounding of the music to seem further away, less obtrusive. They sat down at the bar and he looked at her, staring into her eyes. He had always been so drawn to her eyes when they were dating. She met his eyes and a smile crossed her face.

“Can I buy you a drink?” she asked.

He agreed, and after ordering their drinks, there was a silence. Neither of them seemed to know what to say. Carl looked down into his glass and then looked back up at the beautiful young woman.

“Why…why did you thank me?” he asked, finding the words stilted and a little uncomfortable. “I don’t understand what i did by just being me.”

“You were always so cool about everyone being themselves,” she explained. “Remember our friend Ben from school? Everyone made fun of him for being a sissy or whatever. A couple of the guys in the Gay Liberation Alliance even accused him of ‘setting gay rights back’ by being so flamboyant.”

The memory came flooding back and Carl laughed. He hadn’t thought about Ben in some time. He wondered if he still had an updated number to contact him. Yes, this moment was making him feel nostalgic about a bunch of things.

“Man I haven’t spoken to Ben in years.”

“Oh really?” She raised an eyebrow. “I have. I took a trip up to New York last year and we actually had coffee.”

“How is he?”

Her eyes lit up.

“Well, he was more surprised by the breasts than you,” she said, sticking out her tongue. “He’s doing great. He’s a theater teacher at a high school in the city. He’s married, two kids.”

“Woah really?”

“You can’t see Ben teaching theater and rocking it?”

It surprised Carl to see that his old friend had “settled down” so to speak, but they were in their thirties now and it was a different sort of world. He could see Ben using his large than life personality to reach even the most apathetic of high school students. Something about the thought brought a warm smile to his face.

“Anyway,” Leanne said, waving a hand to get back to the topic. “You never let the guys give Ben crap for being different. You pointed out that being an assimilationist would not do anyone any favors. You were really intense. It made me realize that you probably would appreciate me for me. There would always be people like you in the world.”

Carl appreciated her words, but they brought with them a question.

“Leanne?”

“Mhm?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were a woman when we were dating?”

At first, Carl had assumed that she hadn’t trusted him with that kind of information, but her words were suggesting otherwise. If he was as great as she thought, she had to know that he wouldn’t judge. Sure, he might have felt weird about their relationship then, because he hadn’t been super comfortable with his bisexuality in college, but he would have still done what he could to support her.

“That’s a hard question,” she said, emphasizing her words by downing her drink. “First of all, I was pretty certain that you were gay, and I was equally sure we’d be done for when I told you. That scared me. Our relationship was something nice and secure.”

“It was.”

He had to admit that she was right. Finding out his boyfriend was trans and actually a girlfriend would have probably blown his little mind in college. He wouldn’t have been purposefully judgemental, but he probably would have messed something up. He was still struggling to wrap his mind around his sexuality then.

“I understand,” he said after a moment of silence between them. “I was kind of uncertain of my sexuality then. I’m not gay, actually, but I might have told you as such then.”

“Oh?” she raised an eyebrow. “Bi? Pan?”

“I just go with bi,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “It has been little of an issue to label it. I’ve been single for the last four years…”

At that, she seemed scandalized. She put a hand to her chest.

“How is that even possible?”

“What do you mean?” he chuckled, taking a sip of his drink.

That you’re single just seems crazy to me,” she said. “You’re handsome, smart and I’m pretty sure still the sweetest guy in the world. I thought you’d have someone for sure.”

“It just never worked out for me,” he said, shrugging and feeling a bit insecure, even though he knew the insecurity was silly. He had been single and it hadn’t bothered him from day to day. It shouldn’t bother him now just because someone was calling him out on it. “What about you? Are you…”

She gave a tiny nod.

“I am,” she said. “I’ve dated quite a bit, but it’s always been hard to cling to something lasting. My ex just found someone better…”

“The fact that you think that seems crazy to me.”

Carl relished in the blush that dotted her cheeks.

“I’m gonna run to the bathroom, okay?” she mumbled.

Quickly, she left, and Carl ordered another drink, marveling at the chance of them meeting again. Here they were, about fifty miles away from the place they’d originally met and started dating, but they had somehow come back together. it was a wonderful, beautiful thing. The bartender passed over his drink and Carl looked around. He supposed it was the type of establishment they both would have liked back in the day, but she was something entirely different. It wasn’t just her transition, either. It was the confidence, the way she sauntered away from him towards the bathroom.

“Hey, you know she has a dick, right?”

The words bit through the silence and he found a man had slid up in the seat that Leanne previously occupied. He was older than Carl, somewhere in his mid-forties, white with thinning dark hair, skinny and looking at him with shifty eyes.

“Excuse me?” he asked, tilting his head to the side. He knew where this was going, but he hoped to project enough confidence to avoid it. “Are you talking to me?”

“Hurry, before it gets back,” the man chuckled, alcohol loosening his tongue, making his words slurred and easy.

Carl took a deep breath before he turned to engage. He had been queer in a small town, so he was used to jackasses who assumed he was a straight man and included him in their bigotry. It had been awhile, though, and he wasn’t the hot-headed Carl of his twenties.

“Back off,” he said firmly. “She’s a friend. You should leave.”

“What? Do you like that shit or something?” The drunk’s cackle was low, threatening and Carl wanted to punch him. He wasn’t that big on violence and with one or two instances put aside generally avoided that. “I don’t know how to tell you, man, but that’s fucking sick…”

Carl stood up. “I want you to leave,” he repeated, a last sort of warning.

The transphobic tirade didn’t surprise him, but he was dissapointed.

“I hate those trannies that keep coming up in here, ruining our city. It’s riddiculous…”

“You do realize that this has been a queer hangout for years, right?” Carl asked, looking over to the bartender to see if the man had noticed. He had, unfortunately not noticed, busy with a pair if young women. “You’re in the wrong place if you feel that way.”

“What are you saying?”

Suddenly, the other man seemed more aggressive, putting himself into Carls direct space. He leered, looking at the other man with an intent to intimidate.

“Are you saying that you’re one of those freaks? Do you have a dick down there?” He eyed Carl’s crotch menacingly. “What the hell is wrong with people these days? Nothing makes sense.”

He edged his way into Carl’s space, pressing himself close. He didn’t notice what Carl did. They were no longer alone at the bar. Leanne had returned from the bathroom and she had been listening to the whole long spiel from the asshole. Carl shook his head.

The man turned around to face Leanne and -

Smack.

She punched him in the face.

The action was so violent and sudden that it caught him off guard. Leanne had reeled back and socked the guy in a matter of seconds. He staggered back, putting a hand to the space between his jaw and nose where her fist had struck. Leanne looked down with a sheepishness that was only outshined by the pride in her eyes.

“Oh honey…” he said.

The bartender finally took that moment to notice them, rushing over. It was a little embarrassing how slow he got to them.

“What the hell is going on?”

“Nothing,” Leanne said, staring down their assailant with the most beautiful look on her face. Carl had to admit that he was in love. “I think this guy wants to pay his tab and leave.”

“Is that true?” The bartender assessed what was happening pretty quickly. He raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah I’m out of this freak show.”

The bartender took the now injured asshole to the other side of the bar, and for that Carl was relieved.

“That was incredible.”

Leanne let out a shuddering sigh, and then shook her head. Without saying another word, she rushed out of the bar.

Carl followed after her, of course, after taking a moment to comprehend what she had done. He headed out the front door, feeling the frosty night air around them. Leanne hadn’t gotten far out of the bar’s perimeter, and was just standing in the cold, arms around herself, looking shell-shocked.

“Leanne, are you okay?” he asked, as he approached her. “That was…really incredible. You didn’t let him talk shit about you. He…”

“I’m lucky I didn’t end up arrested or dead,” she said bitterly, meeting his eyes. It seemed that the shock was fading from her. “I know better than to react like that, but I was so happy to see you and the fact that he was going to ruin it with his bullshit.”

Realization dawned on Carl as he took Leanne’s hand. She flinched a little.

“It okay if I hug you?”

She softened a bit and nodded.

He pulled her into a close hug. Even as an openly gay man, he forgot the prviilege that he had. He was white, able-bodied, average looking. He knew those things made life a lot easier and yeah, honestly Leanne had taken some serious risks taking a swing at that guy.

“It’s okay honey,” he said softly, hands on her shoulders. “It could have gone bad. I can’t deny that, but the fact of the matter is clearly that it didn’t.”

“It didn’t,” she agreed softly. “I just got so angry… I should be over that stuff by now. I’ve been dealing with this since long before I came out. It’s not even a big deal anymore.”

He squeezed her shoulders lightly.

“Let’s be honest. It’s always a big deal. It never gets easier.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“Can I take you home?” he asked. He immediately then blushed , trying to dismiss the implications of those words. “Not like that, I mean…we can pay our tab and leave though. I’m sure you’re tired and I can take you there so you’re safe..”

“That was the most awkward thing I’ve ever heard,” she said with a grin, a blunt look on her face. “But it’s so very you, Carl. I’d love it if you’d come home with me. Did you take an Uber?”

He nodded.

“Me too,” she said, a smirk on her face. “Don’t worry. I won’t come onto you too hard. But I want to catch up…”

He smiled, admiration for her lighting up in his eyes.

“I think, my dear, that sounds like a great night.”