To My Mother.
Mother, If I told you that a young man broke my heart, would you stitch it back together?
Would you weave with love, the torn pieces of my soul?
Mother, If I told you that I had let down every promise I made to you, would you still hold me close?
If I told you that I had defied every boundary and broken every rule that you raised me with, would you still want to hear me speak?
Mother, I am a sea of grief and an ocean of shame today. I stood so tall and so proud in the face of the world, having forgotten who put me there. The world stabbed me and I lay bleeding in your arms.
Understand me mother, it is not easy to look into your eyes after having fallen so low in them.
No mother, don't call me by my name. I am not her! I am not your daughter!
I am just a miserable wretch, who sold herself to her desires.
You did not birth this mother!
How could you- so holy- have birthed so monstrous a being, so corrupt a creature?
If father were to find out the sorrows that I have burdened you with, he would never speak to me again.
But, I cry to you mother, and to you only.
The only home that my banished soul has known is in your arms.
I know you worry, but do not insist me further.
I cannot tell you what displeases me.
I cannot tell you why I cry.
It is only the veil of secrecy that binds us mother for if it were to be lifted, you would never look at me again.
I am scared of my hideous truths to be revealed to you.
Remember how as a child you taught me to stay away from wicked and merciless people? How do I stay away from myself mother? Teach me again.
No, no! My dear mother, don't cry! Don't weep!
All the pain in my heart cannot account for a single tear that detaches from your eye.
Fine! I will tell you.
When I went out to the world to build myself a life, it greeted me with open arms. I was deluded when I thought that it was inviting me into an embrace. I was a fool, mother.
The world had opened its arms to strangle me!
It strangled me, mother.
The world threatened me that if I wanted to live, I will have to live with its ways. The world taught me lies and deceit. It took morality out of my bare hands and ripped it into pieces.
Look at my hands mother, Look!
They wail. They curse me for all I put them through. Every inch of my being condemns me!
Birth me again mother!
Give me another life!
This one; I have failed to live.
