Encounters
Ally
My eyes don’t fully absorb the scene in front of me. I can see Nico and Esha playing on the lawn, the red ball bouncing softly on the grass as they attempt to pass it back and forth. The late afternoon sunlight casts a warm glow over the field, but the sun’s warmth is no longer bright enough to make my eyes uncomfortable, so I give little thought to the sunglasses on the chair beside me.
Then the world becomes slightly brighter as if the exposure has just been increased a few notches. Micah walks around the elaborate table, the pink tablecloth barely touching the grass. A few hours ago, every inch of it was covered in elaborate appetizers that only Micah could have made, yet slowly as various people made various trips, attracted to the intricate mint leaves sprinkled on the watermelon cubes, and the miniature glasses filled with colorful juice, the table now holds the remains of a somewhat uncomfortable yet pleasant gathering. Micah seemed delighted at the lack of food left on the table, as though it might not have occurred to her that people often eat because they have nothing better to do. After all, when they see no one to talk to, the food provides an excuse and a purpose. I suspect the food was eaten not because of the tasty appetizers, but to wash away the sour taste of unfamiliarity and awkwardness. Nevertheless, Micah continues to make her way over to me, straightening the chairs as she passes, and adjusting the volume of the large speakers. She’s the only person I know who would wear heels to a lawn party yet her walk is a mixture of grace and confidence, as is the soft smile as she looks down at me.
Every time I look into her eyes, without fail, I remember the pain that filled them when I left her. Even more so when I see her smile because I know she didn’t get her smile from me. Her lips are fuller, and her teeth straighter. It saddens me to know her smile is familiar because it’s the smile I fell in love with. The smile I left her for, the smile that once could chase away the rain. Even after watching her all day, I haven’t gotten used to seeing that smile again. It’s been so long. But it still has the same effect. Watching her, I see all the parts of him I fell in love with, all the best parts The parts that would have never wanted me to leave her, the parts that would’ve hated to make me choose. Decades later, I still know I made the wrong choice. And as my eyes drift to see Rowan come up behind her and grab her hand. Behind them, Charlie began collecting the dishes. Despite the glow that seems to radiate from every inch of the backyard, it’s impossible to allow for warmth when I see the person who once took it all away from me. Two years of difference might as well be ten as she looks the same as the last time I saw her, except her hair is a few shades darker, likely from all the dye, and the wrinkles around her eyes are slightly more defined. But she still has a scar on the left side of her neck, right under her ear where I burnt her that time I was trying to curl her hair for her first party. And around her wrist is a simple gold chain I found when digging through the sand by the lake, the one we went to every summer. I thought the chain was the prettiest thing I’d ever seen, so I gave it to her.
It was much easier to look at Nico and Esha, to see the happiness I’ve created. I knew agreeing to come meant I would have to see her, but there is only so much sister bonds can withstand.
Micah
This was a mistake. I don’t know what to say to her. I can simply tell from the hardening of her eyes and the way her shoulders tense that seeing Charlie still has the same effect on her. That she is nowhere near forgetting what happened between them. I’m a failure. Everyone has a past, yet through my foolish attempt to bring everyone together, I fear I’ve only stirred up old memories. Of course, it was never going to be simple. I’m even struggling, to see Ally after so long. While I know I should think of her as Mom, the name hasn’t quite stuck with me yet. Maybe because in my eyes, someone else has already earned it. Sometimes I don’t understand my own incentive to overcomplicate situations. I fail to understand that when I look around me, I don’t lack love, I don’t lack happiness, yet for some reason, I make it my own goal to jeopardize all of that. And in this situation, even Rowan can’t calm me down like he usually can, and even Nico can’t make me laugh like I usually do. If I don’t keep smiling, the crack will only deepen. So instead I sit down in the chair next to Ally, motioning for Rowan to walk away. This needs to be a private conversation.
Ally’s eyes haven’t left Charlie as she continues clearing plates, oblivious to the unwavering gaze from across the lawn. I spoke to her earlier and advised her to keep her distance. This day would be hard for all of us and I fear Charlie and Ally reuniting might be too great of a step just yet. So she has spent the better part of the day with Rowan’s parents and his younger brother who I suspect has a thing for her. Since Exeter didn’t want to come for obvious reasons, it’s hard to determine that she isn’t single, yet she’s far from it. But I can only imagine what would happen if Exeter did decide to show up. Despite being my dad, he has some obvious flaws and a quite complicated history. But it pains me to know what he did to Ally, who finally tears her eyes from Charlie and smiles down at me. “Thanks for inviting me.” her voice is soft with a surprising firmness that I wouldn’t want to be on the same side of. “Thanks for coming” I reply. I honestly wasn’t sure if she was going to. It was a long shot, but when my producer told me he had a potential address, I couldn’t resist sending an invite. Of course, not everyone here knows who she is, other than Rowan of course, and Charlie who I warned far in advance. The rest of Rowan’s family has simply assumed she’s an old friend of mine. Though this might seem like a foolish decision, I couldn’t let myself forget her, how much I loved her. I thought a low-stress family environment would be a good chance for her to see my life now and what I’ve found, what she left. It’s not like I’ve forgiven her, but there are parts of me that don’t belong to Exeter, and I’ve always wondered where they come from. Of course, I also want an explanation, but we aren’t quite there yet.
