Chapter 1
My earliest childhood memory is standing downstairs looking to my left at the stairs infront of me the doorway that leads to the kitchen and to the right the living room. I can't tell you how many places I lived before the age of three but this one is to painfull to forget.
My younger brother by one year was watching cartoons. I hear screams coming from the bedroom under the stairs. This was my mothers room. As I moved quickly to the room there she was screaming crying begging to be let go. She was handcuffed and there he was with this evil smirk staring at me shaking the hand cuff key. She was begging for him to let her go I started yelling to let her go but she then focused on my telling me it was a game they were playing. Next thing the door is being shut in my face. That's the day I met him, the man in my nightmares.
Sitting outside her room begging pleading to let my mom go. My brother looking at me as the tears streamed down my face. Neither of us understood what kind of game would make my mom cry and yell like that. We heard sounds of what we can only assume was a spanking with her pleading to let her go. Finally the door was opened and her face was all puffy from the tears.
She shushed us along to the kitchen repeating it was a game it was a game. Looking at it years later I think I understand she didn't want us to worry. What she didn't know was yes even though we were young children we understood pain.
As we sat there eating PB&J sandwiches the smacking of lips as we chewed were dealing. After our quick dinner we were sent to bed.
My room was at the top of the stairs to the left, bathroom in the middle and my brothers room to the far right. I don't recall when but my brother's door had been removed. This allowed me to see from My room to his.
That was the last night of normalcy I can't remember. I was awoken to my brother crying from his room. My mother yelling about something and him so angry. I rushed in the doorway only to watch as he picked up my brother by the neck and throw him like a ragdoll. I watched as his body hit the other side of the wall. Then it bounced hit again finally coming to a rest on the ground. I rushed to him I wanted to shield him to save him to protect him but I was rushed out of the room. I heard the same slapping sounds the sound of him screaming but I couldn't get to him I could help I couldn't save him. I found out later that day it was beciade he had a pee accident and wet the bed. My mother has convinced herself to the day that no it was because he got up and peed in the back of his TV, but I remember. I remember where they were in the room I remember him throwing my brother I remember....
