Asters

“Addie,” a shaky voice said from above me. I look up at the speaker, Jonathan, a boy from my grade.

“Hmm?” I ask quietly, putting my bookmark on the page of my history textbook.

“I-I was just w-wondering if you’d, umm maybe go to the dance next week with me?” he said nervously.

“Oh, ohhh, god uhh I well,” I trailed off awkwardly. “I mean-,” but I was cut off.

“Yeah, that’s totally fine. I didn’t really think you would but it’s worth a try, right?” He said looking miserable. I felt like I owed him more of an explanation than some half hearted stuttering but he was already walking away. I stood from my lunch and homework quickly to go after him. When I caught up I put my hand on his shoulder to stop him.

“Jon, I-I owe you more of an explanation than that,” I said quickly.

“Seriously it’s fine, you don’t owe me anything.”

“No, It’s not that I don’t like you but I well I don’t, that way,” I said the last half quickly as he looked up, hopeful. “I just, I like girls.”

“Oh shit.”

“Yeah, oh shit.”

“Well I mean I like boys but here I am asking you,” he muttered, then realizing what he said clamped a hand over his mouth and walked away quickly leaving me standing there confused. I could have gone looking for him but decided against it looking at the clock and realizing there wasn’t much time left in lunch. And I had some homework to finish for the next period.

I didn’t have any classes with him for the rest of the day which was surprising seeing that our grade only had twenty kids or so. I would have to wait until the next day to figure out that mystery of a conversation. The good news was that he was in my first class of the day tomorrow. The bad news was that so were a few of his close friends so I would have to try to get there early so I could steal one of the seats next to him.

After school in my car with my closest friend, Isabella, I told her what had happened over lunch.

“Why would he ask you if he likes boys? I mean maybe he’s like bi or something but why would he say like ‘but i’m still asking you’ or whatever. It just doesn’t make sense,” she rambled. “Seriously, just why?”

“How am I supposed to know? He just walked away.”

“It was a rhetorical question, Addie.”

“Yeah I know but it’s really confusing. I’ll have to tell you what happens tomorrow.” I said as I pulled into her driveway “I’ll see you tomorrow Isa.”

“Bye!” she responded before walking into her house and closing the door behind her.

I was finally at school the next day and rushing into the physics classroom to get a spot next to him. One of his friends, Charlie, was already on one side but the other chair was empty and I slid into it. The tables had three chairs each so me coming in filled it out. Soon after me his other buddy who usually sits where I am came in and looked at me with a half glare and half questioning look. Then I looked over and my other two table mates were looking at me, Jon with a nervous look and the other annoyed.

“Why are you sitting here,” Jon asked, obviously trying to sound calmer and look less distressed.

“I don’t know. Just thought I’d switch things up today. And it’s not like you’ll never see Jake again,” I said nonchalantly and with a look at the still pissed boy at the end of the table saying the last sentence. Jon obviously didn’t believe me but dropped the matter when our teacher, Mr. Anderson, cleared his throat and stood up. He was a tall skinny man with stubble and messy brown hair and as always a plaid button up with jeans.

“Today we’ll start with solving the equations I’ve put up on the board. You’ll work with your desk mates for the first twenty minutes. Just try to get as much done as possible but if you can’t finish it all don’t sweat it.” He sat down and we all got to work. We finished and he lectured us for a while about thermodynamics before letting us get to work on a new worksheet.

Finally Charlie got up to go to the bathroom and I leaned over to Jon. “What was that about yesterday?”

“I mean I asked you out, you said you liked girls so I left.”

“Yeah, no. You left out the very important detail of muttering how you like boys right before you left!”

“Well I would think you of all people would be okay with that with you being like, a lesbain and all.”

“I’m not judging but if you like boys why would you ask me to go to the dance with you? Like, are you bi or was it a joke? I just want to know.”

“Fine, Im gay,” he said after a long puase. “I just don’t want people to know. All my friends are pretty homophobic but I don’t really have other people to hangout with. I asked you because they’ve all been teasing me about never having a girlfriend and making bets on wether I’m gay.”

“Oh god, that sucks. They’re being total jerks. You shouldn’t have to go to a dance with a girl for your friends not to bully you.”

“Yeah I guess not. I don’t know what to do. Maybe I’ll just lie and say I’m sick.”

I glanced up checking to see if Charlie was back yet but luckily he wasn’t. “You’ll tell them you’ve got Addie to go to the dance with you and you’ll show up and you’ll dance with me,” I said without thinking.

“R-really? You’d go with me?”

“Yeah, I mean I think you should cut off your friends. I know it’s kinda hard with our class size but even if you don’t I’ll still help you. Plus I don’t have anyone to go with so why not?”

“Thank you, really, you don’t know how much this has been stressing me out.” Just then Charlie came back from the bathroom and took his seat again.

“Why are you so happy?” he asked Jon.

“It’s nothing,” he answered, looking over at me. “I just got a date for the fall dance.”

“Really? Her? Didn’t she like, date a chick in ninth?” Honestly I didn’t think he would remember that or even care but now I had to cover for myself.

“You know there’s sexualitys where you like boys and girls right?” I shot back at him hoping he would shut up about it.

“Yeah but still it’s really gross. I mean imagine how weird it would be to kiss a girl that’s kissed other girls, right Jon?”

“Yeah, I guess,” he said quietly looking down before shooting me an apologetic look. I didn’t care much about what Jon said knowing he was just trying to keep his cover.

“Stop being immature Charlie. That’s like complaining about cooties as an eleventh grader. It’s just pathetic.” Just then the bell rang and I stood up and walked out without even hearing what he said next.