ted

A Refreshing Read

(completed) I really enjoyed this book; it was the type that you could easily binge in one sitting, but reading it over several was just as enjoyable and doesn't lessen its impact in the least. It was a refreshing read. I've found that most stories on here tend to focus on the sexual aspect of relationships (which is grand; sex plays a big role in most relationships), but the PG nature of this story made it more about the emotional connection of the characters and how important it is for a relationship to have a friendship component to it. The 'friends-to-lovers' trope was well done here; the writer struck a balance that didn't bog us down with mundane details but allowed us an insight into their friendship from its very beginning, so props to the writer for capturing that so effectively. The characters were well developed and distinct from one another, and I liked how they writer kept their friendships realistic, having them drift apart after school/uni and them not being able to afford flights to see one another every weekend. They also weren't stereotypes, which was a relief in itself, and I can't thank the writer enough for that. The pace of the story was well done, though perhaps a little more 'showing' rather than 'telling' in the chapters about his worsening mental health (after uni when he met Pratt)? I understand that there was a lot to get through and that the writer didn't want to overload the reader, but I'd have a liked a little more on his relationships with his professor and Pratt, rather than just being told about the entire thing in a matter of a few lines/paragraphs. The same for his recovery - a little more 'in the moment' interactions (with his family, Julia, therapist) rather than just summarising it; it'd help the reader to realise the extent of his problems and would also aid in showing the passage of time. (That's just a personal opinion though; it's grand the way it is, I'm just being fussy xD) The writer dealt with mental health issues well; I don't want to spoil anything, but it does get quite dark at some points, so perhaps some trigger warnings in the blurb wouldn't go amiss. All in all, it was a refreshing, emotional read, and definitely one of the best stories I've read on this site. Great job :)

A thrilling read!

(still reading; review covers til the end of chapter fourteen) This was an intense read right from the get-go! The writer created a suspenseful atmosphere very well and maintained it throughout, which is a tough feat to achieve, so props to them for that. The descriptions were well done, and I especially liked how background information was given through dialogue, rather than being info-dumped in the narrative; it helped make it more engaging and memorable, as well as relevant to the plot. The flashbacks used were helpful in giving context, though I felt like some of them could be shortened a little (especially the one where Victor describes how he first encountered her). Nonetheless, they were a useful addition and not over-used - a good choice of writing device for a fast-paced thriller. The characters are well developed and distinctive in their own right. Fae comes across as strong-willed and quite impulsive, though very loyal to those she cares about (even when said people betray her in the most horrible way). Victor is ... honestly, I don't even think HE knows who he is, which makes it impossible to predict what he's going to do next - but that's why it's such a thrilling read. It makes me want to read more, which I shall certainly be doing over the coming days/weeks, and I shall update my review along the way. Really good job - looking forward to continuing! :)

Interesting start!

(read til the end of chapter 5/number 12) This was an interesting start! I like that the writer used a journal as a means of providing details about the history/background. It was much more effective than using flashbacks, as it gave an insight into her character and helped the reader to understand her more; sympathise with her for what she'd gone through. The family dynamic was at first a little confusing but once the journal entries began, it became clear why their relationships seemed strained and distant. The dialogue was well done throughout and read like something you'd actually hear people say in real life - especially when she was talking to her friends. I liked the swear words dropped into the narrative; it made it feel more real and a lot more entertaining than the usual bland first person narrative you see on here xD I wasn't a big fan of using emboldened italics for some of the dialogue. I understand that it was to convey that the conversation was taking place in the past, but it took me out of the story a bit. I liked the back-and-forth between the present and the past (journal entries), but it got a little tedious at times. I was more interested in the present and would have liked a few chapters in a row dealing solely with that, rather than flicking back to the 'dear journal' side of things. (But that's just a personal thing of mine - I dislike when POVs switch between characters in the same manner too, so it's not a criticism about the style, just me being annoying xD) Anyhoo, really good job with this :)

A memory you'd rather forget ...

If Sir Alegria ever invites me over for dinner, I think I'll be declining .... xD Good job with this! I liked the explanation of what a dagli is; it's kind of like flash fiction, but the name is a lot catchier and intriguing. You built up the suspense well, especially given that it was such a short piece. The dialogue was good and definitely read like how people actually talk in real-life. Ending it with a line similar to the title was a great way to tie it all up and make the reader feel just as horrified as the characters. Good job with this :)

Mr and Mrs ... Graveyard Dudes?

(completed) I'm not exactly sure what I was expecting from this, but whatever the case, it certainly didn't disappoint! The opening was very different from any I've read before - it was abrupt but engaging and instantly drew me in.; it set the tone well for the rest of the story, I enjoyed the humourous approach taken; I've seen it attempted before in horror/action novels, but it usually comes across as forced and out of place, but it worked very well here. It made the story even more engaging, especially naming him "Graveyard Dude" and the remark about how the person to scream "do something!" never actually does anything themselves xD Little quips like that made his character very relatable and all the more realistic. The characters were well written and we learned a lot about them. There was a fair bit of information told rather than shown at the start, but as the storyline progressed, this changed for the better. The dialogue was good too and read like something you'd actually hear people saying in real-life, rather than the usual robotic formalities you so often read in stories, so props to the writer for that! The descriptions were great too - gory and vivid, but not just for the sake of it; they were woven well into the narrative and definitely had me making "yucky faces" like the girls at times xD Really good job with this! :)

I don't know what I just read, but I want MORE xD

(on-going, read til the end of chapter 7) Well, that was a wild ride! I was expecting something light-hearted and quick to read, but this was not that at all and I'm delighted that it wasn't xD It was humourous, entertaining as feck, completely unpredictable and satirised the world of politics more than politicians (unintentionally) do themselves, which is an impressive feat in its own right xD The characters were well introduced and developed, and they were all distinct from one another. The dialogue was good and had some creative quips/comebacks that I shall definitely be implementing in my own life ASAP! I loved the diversity and inclusiveness of the characters and the dynamic between them all; they fit together well in a mismatch-y kind of way that was refreshing to read. Really good job with this, I hope you continue it soon :)

Cute start!

(ongoing, read the first chapter) This was a lovely start! The MC is introduced very well and she comes across strongly. I like that the writer gave away bits of information about her background without making it into an info dump - opening the first chapter on her leaving the dinner with her mother was a good way of showing the poor relationship between them, rather than just being told they don't get on, so props to the writer for that! The descriptions were well done, especially when describing the new fella she's met. He's interesting - quite mysterious, but not in a broody kinda way since they talked and teased one another a lot. The dialogue between the was well written and flowed well - it was casual and read like stuff you'd actually hear young adults say, so the writer did a good job in capturing that. Really good job with this - keep writing! :)

Gripping!

Shub Agar has done it again - an epic, emotionally driven piece about life, loss, love and regret (for things done but also left undone). It drew me in from the very start; the frantic worry and desperation felt so real and was only the beginning of the heart-wrenching array of emotions conveyed throughout the piece. The writer's grasp of emotional writing is excellent and truly made this piece engaging. I liked the format of the story: the pre-war bits about the dance company/their life together vs the war and the letters. The pre-war scenes were a much needed reprieve from the intensity of the war scenes, especially as the story moved forward and his letters became more desperate and depressed. Adding the dates and years was a good indication of the passage of time and worked especially well in adding tension and suspense when they were captured and a long time had passed between letters. The revelation at the end (I won't say what) was well placed and added an even heavier air to the atmosphere. One little thing I would say is that there were quite a few sentences that started with 'I' or a pronoun in the first few sections and it became a tad repetitive. This sorted itself out in later sections, so it's nothing to worry about and is just me being really nit-picky xD Anyhoo, great job with this; you have a wonderful ability to capture so much emotion in such short pieces, please keep writing! :)

Vampire Baby - need I add more?

(ongoing, read til the end of chapter six) I do love a good horror/thriller, but I can't say I've seen many horror/humour stories about - or, at least, none that have managed to pull it off; but this story certainly did just that! It was humourous without being humourous - it wasn't slapstick or forced jokes, there was just something distinctly entertaining about the writing style that had me snorting (at likely highly inappropriate times). The writer also did a great job of building up suspense and tension throughout; Chris' declining mental state was portrayed realistically (well, how I'd imagine one would react to being stuck in a sewer with a vampire baby for the foreseeable future) and I like that the writer didn't shy away from the gory side of things - tis a horror, after all. Anyhoo, really good job with this, can't wait for more! :)

Very engaging!

(completed) This was a really interesting read! I love stories set 'back in the day' and this one didn't at all disappoint. The writing style was quite 'old time-y' and definitely added to the atmosphere of the piece. The writer developed their characters very well, especially Blythe: she was a strong, independent woman who certainly gave Mackenzie a run for his money (literally!). The dynamic between them was intriguing and I felt they were very well matched - which made the ending even more heart-breaking, though I very much admire the writer being realistic about that. The descriptions were very well done too, as was the dialogue. I liked that the writer didn't shy away from gorier scenes, especially given the nature of Mackenzie's enterprise. I also liked how Blythe's relationships outside of Mackenzie were developed rather than having everything be about her romantic attachments. The dates and locations given at the start of each chapter were a nice addition too, not something you usually see, but they fit well here and gave a sense of the passage of time. There were a few grammar errors (misspellings, tense changes), but nothing that detracted from the story. A good edit will surely catch them all no bother. Good job with this! Congratulations on finishing your first story, it's a wonderful feeling and achievement :D