Prologue
Diamondï»ż
âWhat!?â I shout, making Mother wince. âI canât marry him, Mom. I donât even love him! Isnât there another way besides marriage?â
âIâm sorry, sweetie, but it canât be done. Youâve been crying over that no-good boy for years now. Itâs about time you let go of Lionel.â
My eyes narrow. âDonât talk about him like that.â
âItâs time for new beginnings, dear. Just give it a chance,â Mom pleads, taking my hands gently in hers.
âDarling, you know how much I love and adore you. My greatest wish in life is to see my only child happy again. I just want to see that smile that used to light up your eyes and brighten everyoneâs day. I know this marriage feels sudden, and maybe I shouldnât meddle in your love life, but I just want to help you move on. You deserve the best, and I truly believe Liam would make a good husband.â
I stare at my mother, studying her face. She means well, I know she does, but I just canât.
âMom, I know youâre doing this because you care, but I donât need to marry someone to be happy!â I protest. âI donât even know the man, for crying out loud!â
I pull my hands free, staring at her baffled. This had to be a dream. Reality wouldnât pull such a ridiculous stunt on me. âWhat if heâs a criminal? Or a pedophile? What if heâs murdered someone before?â
Mom laughs softly at my wild accusations. âI assure you, dear, heâs nothing like that. In factâŠâ She trails off, pulling out her phone to find a photo. âHeâs a well-mannered gentleman from one of the most respected families in the country. Your father and his father go way back. Heâs a good young man,â she says, tucking her phone away. âHardworking, too.â
The image of his face is still fresh in my mind. He might look well-mannered on the outside, but that doesnât make him good on the inside.
I cross my arms tightly over my chest. âI still donât like this.â
âItâs for your own good, sweetheart.â
I fight away an eye-roll. Even that couldnât describe the sheer ridiculousness of this situation.
Mom rises from my bed. âItâs late. Get some rest. Weâll talk about this later,â she says, kissing my cheek.
âThink about it, dear,â she murmurs before closing the door behind her.
My chest tightens as the weight of it all settles in. My mother is fully determined to marry me off to a man Iâve never met. Despite her intentions, itâs still against my will. I donât care how much of a saint this Liam might be. Iâll only ever see him as the person I was forced to spend the rest of my life with.
I change into my sleepwear â a simple baby-pink top and black shorts. With a flick of the switch, the room sinks into darkness, leaving only the soft amber glow of my bedside lamps. I slip beneath the blankets, but the comfort that usually cocoons me offers little relief tonight. My mind refuses to rest. Sleep refuses to come as I turn over my options again and again. When did my life take such a turn for the worse?
Ever since he left.
I rest on my elbow, staring at the light. My hand reaches down, pulling open the drawer. I pull out the grey book thatâs been residing in that drawer for the last few years. A book I once loved, a book I reread so many times and never got bored of.
A book that held the note that shattered my heart.
That letter that turned my world upside down is still tucked between the same pages I first found it in. Smoothing out the paper, I read the words that I now know by heart, yet, every time I see the words, I always imagine that they mean something else.
To my dear Diamond,
Hey love, youâre probably wondering why Iâm not answering your calls, right?
Well, Iâve left the country.
Iâm sorry, Diamond, that I told you this way. The truth is, I wasnât happy with where I was in life. I wanted to achieve more⊠for you.
I know this sounds selfish, but I had to.
Iâm so sorry, Diamond.
Just remember that my feelings for you will never change.
You are one of the most amazing women Iâve ever met.
Thank you for making me smile, for loving me, for understanding me.
Thank you for giving me your all.
Iâm sorry I was too much of a coward to tell you this in person.
I couldnât face you.
The guilt is killing me.
I promise that if you wait for me, Iâll come back a better manâfor you.
Iâll never leave you again if we ever meet.
Just so you know, my loveâI love you, and I always will. Take care of yourself, love. Once again, I love you. Please wait for me.
Love, Lionel
~~~
The same bitter filling that has become a known feeling, fills my chest as tears stream down my cheeks. I donât understand why, after all this time, I am still crying over Lionel like a baby. I need to get it together.
Who knows what Lionel is doing out there? Maybe he found someone new, someone heâd never abandon, someone heâd love with his whole heart.
Someone who he would love in the way he couldnât love me.
What if heâs married and has a kid? What if heâs finally achieved everything he wanted to do and is now living the life heâs always wanted just without me?
What if itâs only me who misses our relationship? Our memories.
Our love.
I remember the first moment I read it. I stared at the letter, wishing I could somehow summon its writer. Two weeks after our second anniversary, he was gone, leaving nothing behind but a flimsy piece of paper covered in words.
Words Iâm still holding onto.
Delusional? Maybe. A normal person would have moved on by now. But I had always thought what Lionel and I had was amazing. I thought we were amazing.
Clearly he didnât think that. And he didnât even have the decency to properly end our relationship or say goodbye.
I only have this stupid letter to remember him by.
What if heâs forgotten me? He should have known I wouldnât be able to move on just because he left a stupid letter.
So why hasnât he found me? Why hasnât he come back to reclaim our love?
These questions will forever run in my head, but I know I will never get the answers I need unless he comes back.
Five years have passed without him yet I still hope that one day, I will get to see him again, to run into his arms and never let go.