Just Keep Going Straight
Well, for fuck’s sake, Roksolana has come to this – drag a pizza to a penthouse, and in an evening gown, the whore!
What the fuck is this, one might ask? It’s always these anime freaks, may the devil grab them by their fucking tails, they call, the bitches, when I’m in a fox costume, and I, like a fucking idiot, with a butt plug in my ass, hobble over to them, because, you see, it’s “service”.
Service, my ass, shove it up your own asses, you half-baked anime nerds! Today, you see, is some special occasion. A penthouse he wants, a “four cheese” pizza for three hundred hryvnias, and for me, the whore, to show up in an evening gown, as if for a ball.
What kind of pervert is this? Or maybe some rich slut ordered it to amuse herself?
Ah, fuck it, I don’t give a shit about their whims. The main thing is they pay money, and for money, Roksolana will even dance in a clown’s ass if need be.
Although, no, she won’t dance in an ass, that’s too much. But a pizza to a penthouse in a gown – no problem, why the fuck not?
The dress, though, that’s another clusterfuck. Found some old rag in the closet, from prom, I think.
Maroon, with sequins, like a gypsy hag’s. I’ll pull this shit on now, I’ll look like a laughingstock.
Well, fuck it, the main thing is that it’s comfortable to ride the scooter, because if I get caught on something with that long hem, it’s fucked, I’ll crash to fucking hell, and the pizza will fly apart, and the dress will tear, and I’ll get a fine.
No, I need to be careful. Started my “Honda Dio,” that old heap that’s already on its last legs.
It farts like an old woman, but it moves, and that’s good. I put on a helmet so the wind wouldn’t lift that dress up to my ass, and I rode off.
Lights are on, people are scurrying, cars are honking. And I, like an idiot, in a maroon dress on a scooter, am delivering a pizza to a penthouse.
Some bullshit life this is. By the time I got to that penthouse, I was all sweaty, like a mouse.
The dress stuck to my body, my makeup ran, my hair got messy. I look like a shat-on cat, honest to God.
I drove up to the building, and it’s such a fucking thing that it’s scary. A glass high-rise, like fuck knows what.
Some puffed-up concierge is sitting there, like a turkey. Looks at me like I’m shit. Well, go on and look, what the fuck, am I a clown to you?
Well look at that, this thing can even talk, this scarecrow in a suit!!! “Good evening, madam. Who are you here to see?”
— this patched-up condom squeaked, looking me over with such arrogance as if I had personally pissed in his shoes!!!! Madam?!
What kind of fucking madam am I to you, you dickhead?! Want to get a “madam” in your face?!?!?
I put the thermal bag with the pizza on his marble counter, which radiated a deathly chill, and I say, smiling the sweetest smile of a serial killer:
— Pizza-shmizza, for fuck’s sake!Penthouse!! To the very top!!! The apartment number isn’t listed, it just says “highest floor,” is that not clear?!
He grimaced, the bastard, as if he’d eaten a lemon!!!! He grabbed the receiver, started whispering something, like a rat behind a baseboard.
“Yes... Yes, there’s a delivery for you... a girl... in an evening gown, yes...” Bitch!!!! He emphasized the dress, the scumbag!!!!
What’s the dress to you, you miserable faggot?!?!? A strange fucking expression flashed across his face, something between surprise and disgust, and then he slowly put down the receiver.
— You may go in. The elevator hall is to the right.
He didn’t even say which elevator!!!!! Asshole!!!!!!
I grabbed the bag and shuffled where he waved his bony hand. Fucked!!! This is some kind of fucked up!!!
This, for fuck’s sake, isn’t a hall, it’s a football field!! The floor is made of such white marble that I can see my reflection in it – a disheveled whore in a wrinkled rag!!!
The ceiling is so fucking high, like in a cathedral, and some metal bullshit is hanging from the walls, which some faggot obviously called art!!!! Quiet!!!!
So quiet, it makes my ears ring with the echo of my shoes!!!! Every step echoes through this fucking labyrinth!!!
I’m walking as if to my execution, I swear to God!!!! And there they are – the elevators!!!! Five of them, for fuck’s sake, in a row!!!!
All steel, shiny, like surgical instruments!!!! I press the call button, and it doesn’t even click, it just lights up!!!!
