Lilac Meadows

I finished the third book today, the one you signed in Newton last month. You told me no one could finish it so quickly, I stepped up to the challenge, Lilac. I loved that you wore lilac to the signing, it really suits you; it brings out the blue in your eyes.

Love now and always,

S

I read the fan mail again. It was short, sweet and to the point. Nothing in particular stood out but something felt different about this one.

Closing my laptop, I sipped my tea. The bag had grown weak, threatening to burst in the cold water. There were only a few hours before I'd have to venture out again to the towering building that housed my agent and a quadrillion books I'd have to sign.

It wasn't the idea of signing the books that soured my mood, it was having to go outside. Outside where there were people. Hundreds of people bustling around the city, all in their own little bubbles but far too close for me to cope.

One thing about growing up in the country was that you missed the quiet, especially when every night was now filled with sirens and screeching teens wandering the streets at ungodly hours.

I wasn't a people person, I never had been. I found solace in my books and eventually took to writing my own books. It was a miracle that Helen, my assistant, had taken a leap of faith in my work and pitched it to her publishing house. Now, five years later, I was a bestselling author of what they apparently called a 'world-wide phenomenon'. She took me from being a nobody in the middle of nowhere to becoming a household name.

My work wasn't anything extraordinary but for some reason, it ticked every box along the way. It began as a dream, quite literally, one I'd woken up from in the middle of the night thinking it would make for quite an interesting movie or book. And so it all began.

I hadn't quite prepared for life to take such a drastic turn. An unbelievably amazing turn, but one that caused such intense anxiety I could barely leave my apartment anymore.

The view from my living room was stunning, one I couldn't quite tire of. It was the best thing about the place and the features that made me buy it in the first place. With massive floor-to-ceiling windows, the city lights illuminated my living room each night in an array of colours. It was a large apartment, more like a luxury hotel suit than anything else. Everything I could possibly want or need was within the building; a residential spa and gym were located in the basement along with a huge indoor pool; the building had three restaurants and a cafe that looked out onto the bustling street; the residents were quiet and minded themselves. It was ultimately the best place for someone who hated interacting with other humans.

As sunny and colourful as my characters were, I was a very grey person. The furnishings in my house were all various shades of grey giving the whole apartment a show-room like feel to it. I didn't bother with blinds or curtains as I was too far up for anyone else to see and too far from the other buildings for people to peer in. I realised after Helen had helped me with all the paperwork and moved me in, that I was quite a dull person.

"With a name like Lilac Meadows, you can't be dull honey." She'd told me as she stocked my fridge with some essentials for my first night.

"It's only my pen-name Helen." I'd rolled my eyes at her, pulling at a thread on my jumper.

"Honey, it's your alter ego now." She turned to me with a stick of celery in her hand. "When you go out there, you're not Katherine, you're not the shy, little girl from nowhere. You're Lilac Meadows, best-selling author, quirky and out there living in the big city and making a name for herself!" She waved the celery around as she painted the picture for me, swinging her arm over my shoulder.

I stepped out onto the balcony, the air was always crisp with a bite to it up here, even when it was the peak of summer. Maybe she'd been right. Maybe when I was out there I should be more Lilac instead of Katherine. I shook the idea from my head quickly.

Jumping through the shower, I scrubbed myself clean and threw on a fresh set of clothes; a loose fitting top with a pair of jeans. Practical and comfortable. My hair was easy to dry as I kept it short and tousled the curls into place. Grabbing my bag, I made my way to the door. Hopefully today there won't be any people on the elevator on my way down.

By the time I got to the office, I was disheveled and ready to sink into bed. The people on the streets were far too much for me. The shouting, the zipping passed while on their phones, screaming and whistling for taxis. It was overwhelming to say the least.

A harsh sweat had accumulated at the nape of my neck, making my skin feel clammy and unclean. I hated it. The heat of the building didn't help as I pulled my loose sleeves up and re-shouldered my bag. I ran my fingers through my hair, the curls damp and clinging to each other.

"Lilac there you are!" Helen was a pro when it came to using my pen-name. There were only a handful of people who knew my real name, my legal team, obviously my literary team and Helen.

She waved me down, a coffee in one hand and a large ipad tucked under her arm. Her bright red lipstick matched her heels and complimented her black ensemble beautifully. Helen was a woman who was always well put together, no matter how many challenges life threw her way.

"Come on honey, we got some real exciting news for you!" She sipped at her coffee as she pressed the button for the elevator. "Remember I told you we were working with some people to get you that tour?"

I nodded, vaguely remembering an email that I skimmed through months ago.

"Well, we finally managed to get some deals sorted and we had the last venue approved last week."

I clutched my bag to my chest, taking some deep breaths as I tried to listen to Helen. The elevator was crammed with people heading up to their offices, everyone squeezing in to catch the lift up. I'd much rather take the stairs but knew my asthmatic ass couldn't walk up fifteen flights of stairs without dying a slow, excruciating death.

With the thought in my mind, I reached in to grab my inhaler, taking a quick puff as Helen rubbed my shoulder.

"You OK there babe?" Her neatly threaded eyebrows dipped to show her concern.

I nodded, holding my breath as my lungs relaxed their deathgrip.

"Just take it easy, I know this is a lot, but it's also a really amazing opportunity for you." She said softly as floor by floor, the people vacated the elevator and I was able to breathe again.

Helen continued to excitedly tell me about the venues; book store after bookstore; a few libraries; one or two universities and colleges.

"Everything will be prepped and ready before we even leave, you'll have a whole team working with you. And we've got some photoshoots, some interviews, live readings, obviously we'll have book signings, meet and greets!"

We entered the office through clear, glass doors (doors I'd walked into on numerous occasions). Helen led me straight to the meeting room where people were already waiting. The nerves died down as I realised they were all people I'd worked with previously.

"Lilac, this'll be our team for the next few months." Helen splayed her arms open dramatically.

She sat at the head of the table as I took the seat next to her. She placed her ipad down along with her coffee.

The meeting was long and tedious with a thousand papers to sign and read through. We discussed everything under the sun from outfits to wear in each city to which chapters I'd read for the live readings. Helen would sort out the speeches for the colleges and universities, Imogen would take the lead on the photoshoots and wardrobe for interviews.

It was ridiculous how many detailed questions were answered, not to mention how silly it felt to think an outfit could 'make or break' an interview. But, I kept quiet, only giving simple answers here and there as they required. I trusted them to make the decisions I knew I simply didn't care enough about to make. They knew what they were doing, they left me to write and I left them to make me a face for the people.