Things We Left Unsaid • JJK

Thanks to my dear friend who made my OC come to life; she produced the perfect image of Siri and her daughter, Lily.

wordcount: ~3750

_______________________

“Where we going, mama?”

Little four year old Lily looks curiously at her mother who’s kneeling in front of her, quickly doing up the buttons of her pink Hello Kitty jacket.

Siri puts on a smile, “You’re finally going to meet your daddy, baby.”

A gasp leaves Lily’s lips and her doe eyes go wide and sparkly. “Weally?? I’m going to meet daddy??”

“Yeah!” Siri tries to sound upbeat. “You excited? You’re going to stay with him for a bit.”

Lily bounces on her toes, “Yaaay!! Will you stay wif me and daddy, too?”

Siri’s smile drops slightly and her blue eyes dim just a little. She shakes her head, “No, sweetie. Mama can’t stay.”

Lily pouts, “Why not?”

“Daddy isn’t going to be too happy with mama.”

“Why?” the little girl tilts her head. “Did you do somefing bad?”

An ache hits Siri’s chest and guilt twists inside of her. Her eyes sting, but she urges herself to not cry. She told herself she wouldn’t do that until after she left Lily with him.

She swallows thickly, trying to push her tears down and nods as she smoothes her little girl’s jacket. “Yeah… Mama didn’t tell daddy something important. He won’t want me there.”

Siri’s heart aches as she thinks back on the father of her child, Jeon Jungkook. He’s the only man she’s ever truly loved, but Siri didn’t know if he ever felt the same way for her.

She used to believe that they were perfect together and could’ve had a beautiful life with one another, but unfortunately, the universe made them that typical cliché of being the right person for each other at the wrong time.

Siri knows it’s still not the right time for them now, and maybe there never will be. It’s been around five years since she last saw Jungkook, and she’s about to walk back into his life and turn everything upside down.

While she was unsure about how deep his feelings for her were back then, Siri knows for certain he would’ve loved Lily with all his heart had he known she existed.

But that’s the thing… He doesn’t know about their daughter.

Siri is absolutely sure Jungkook will be furious that she kept something this important from him. If their roles were reversed, she would feel the same way. However, she knows what Jungkook is like. He has a good heart, and no matter how angry he is with her, he won’t turn his back on Lily.

The little girl frowns, thinking hard before she gives the easiest solution she could come up with. “What if you told daddy you’re sowwy?”

Siri chuckles at her innocence. If only it were that easy…

She cups Lily’s warm cheeks, memorising the softness of her skin and those pretty little blue doe eyes that look just like her daddy’s.

“I don’t think that’ll be enough, sweetie.” Siri quickly looks down, removing her hands from her daughter’s cheeks to pretend to fuss with her scarf, hoping that looking at something else will stop the water in her eyes from accumulating.

“But don’t worry,” Siri blinks the tears away a few times before continuing with a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “Daddy’s going to be so nice to you and he’s going to love you.”

Done with her daughter’s jacket and scarf, Siri grabs the suitcase and duffel bag she packed earlier. Lily’s clothes, her favourite teddies, books, and shoes are all in there. The mother packed as much as she could, hoping it would be enough to last for a few weeks.

A few weeks… That’s how long Siri is hoping this will take.

She takes her daughter’s hand, does a quick once over around her child’s bedroom to see if there’s anything she missed. When she thinks she’s okay, Siri quickly leads Lily out of their apartment to her car while her eyes dart around cautiously.

Once Lily is settled into her child seat, Siri carefully buckles her in, double-checking the straps to ensure her little one is secure. She then puts on the brightest smile she can manage.

“Now Lily, you’re going to be a surprise for daddy, okay? He doesn’t know you’re coming, and he hasn’t met you before, so he’s going to be really shocked when he sees you.”

“Am I like a birfday surpwise for him?” Lily asks enthusiastically with her eyes sparkling.

A soft chuckle slips from Siri, even though the question makes her heart pinch.

“Yeah.” She reaches up to play with one of Lily’s pigtails. “It’s not his birthday yet, but yeah... You’ll be something like that.”

Lily giggles, looking so delighted by the idea.

Siri smiles back at her, but as she closes the car door, her smile slowly disappears. This most definitely isn’t a birthday surprise. It’s more like a goodbye of sorts…

It’s just for a few weeks though, Siri reminds herself again. Just a few weeks.

Knock knock knock.

Jungkook glances up from the recipe notebook he has on his kitchen island. “Coming!” he says a little loudly so the person on the other side of the door could hear.

He unlocks the front door and pulls it open, and as soon as he sees who’s there, his heart drops before it starts racing hard, his breath hitches, and his doe eyes widen.

For a few seconds, Jungkook wonders if he’s hallucinating because he did not at all expect to see her of all people.

Her… The woman he used to think the world of. Her… who before life took them in different directions, promised they would keep in touch, and yet she was the one to suddenly vanish out of his life for five years.

Five years.

Jungkook was so hurt when Siri disappeared from his life. Even though they hadn’t been together for that long, he always wondered if he had ever meant anything to her because she was so easily able to ghost him after they parted ways. For so long, he even thought that maybe everything between them had only ever meant something to him.

But now here she is… Standing on his doorstep…

“Siri...” he murmurs with disbelief.

She gives him a small, awkward smile. “Hey, Kookie.”

His heart pounds harder hearing that nickname, “Am... am I seeing things?”

“No…”

“You…” Jungkook lets out a chuckle and shakes his head, still flabbergasted. “Wow. This is seriously a huge surprise.”

“Yeah… I know…” Siri says with a sad smile. She didn’t even need Jungkook to say what he’s feeling or what’s on his mind. She knows.

You disappear on me for five fucking years, and turn up at my door all of a sudden? What the fuck?

“It’s been a while,” she murmurs.

“Yeah, it has…”

On the outside, Jungkook just looks at Siri, unsure how he’s supposed to react to seeing her again. But on the inside, his heart is going haywire, pounding so hard against his chest that he can hear it in his ears. His hands twitch at his sides with a desire to reach out and wrap his arms around her—only because he’s missed her and it is really nice to see her again after all these years.

However… Jungkook curls his fingers into his palms to stop himself because he doesn’t understand why Siri’s here, and if he’s being honest, he’s still hurt by what she did.

“So what are you doing here?” he eventually asks. “And how did you even find out where I live?”

Siri doesn’t answer the second question, and just tells him, “I actually don’t really have much time to chat.”

“What??” Jungkook frowns with confusion as a small spark of annoyance alights in his chest.

He hasn’t had enough time to process the fact that she’s standing in front of him, and now she’s already telling him she didn’t have time to chat?

Then what the hell is she here for??

Jungkook doesn’t know why, but his first thought is was he really that insignificant to her? Was this just going to be a quick hi and bye?

“I need to tell—or more like show you something,” Siri says, swallowing thickly. “And it’s going to make you freak out, so I’m really, very sorry for this…”

“Sorry?” Jungkook repeats as his eyebrows pull together. Sorry for what? For disappearing out of my life? For making me feel like I meant nothing to you?

“I should’ve told you this a long time ago…”

Jungkook stares at her, feeling totally lost. “Told me what?”

Siri doesn’t answer, choosing to lower her face and look down to her left instead. Confused, Jungkook’s gaze also follows hers, and his eyes widen once more.

There’s a tiny person tucked behind Siri’s leg, along with some bags just off to the side.

It’s a little girl with long, dark hair in pigtails who can’t be much older than four or five, and she’s hugging a well-loved pink bunny tightly against her chest, peeking out at the tall man with her wide blue doe eyes before quickly hiding behind Siri again.

Jungkook blinks multiple times as his brows slowly furrow. His eyes go from the little girl, to Siri, back to the little girl, and then locking on Siri once again.

I should’ve told you this a long time ago… Siri’s words ring in his ears, and when Jungkook’s eyes go back to the little girl, his heart suddenly drops as he gets a terrifying suspicion.

Oh, mother of god… Is this… Is th-that… Is she…

“Siri… What’s going on?...”

She gently encourages the little girl forward who shyly steps out from behind her mother’s leg, lifting her bunny up a little higher as if to help her hide.

Lily was initially excited at the idea of meeting him, but now that the moment is actually here, she finds it a little scary. What if daddy doesn’t like me?

“This is Lily,” Siri says softly. “She’s our daughter.”

Jungkook’s heart stops, and he feels like he can’t breathe. He feels like he’s just had a shit tonne of alcohol cause his head is spinning.

“W-What?...”

“This is our daughter.”

Jungkook’s surprised doe eyes go back and forth between the mother and the little girl again, ”Our… As in…?”

He can’t even finish the sentence because this is just too crazy. This can’t be happening right now. Something this important and this serious—Siri would’ve told me, wouldn’t she??

But Siri nods to his unfinished sentence. “Ours, as in she’s part me and part you, Kook. We made her.”

His eyes widen as he shakes his head. “N-no… No, this can’t—” He laughs once out of disbelief. “How is this— when did— what the hell, Siri?!!”

He looks at her with his eyes whirling with so many feelings. Betrayal, confusion, complete and utter shock and disbelief.

Tears fill Siri’s eyes as she knew his reaction wouldn’t be the best.

“I know, Kookie, I know. I’m so sorry for not telling you about her, but I really can’t stay and explain right now.”

Jungkook frowns, “What? Why’d you bring her here then?”

“Because I need your help. Kookie… Can you please look after Lily for me for a few weeks?”

“What?!” He actually takes a step back, looking at Siri as if she’s just grown two heads. “Are you nuts?! I haven’t seen you in five years, and you suddenly show up with a little girl, telling me she’s my daughter and that you want me to look after her?!”

He looks at her incredulously, “You can’t do that! You can’t just dump a kid on my doorstep who’s supposedly mine and—”

“Not supposedly,” Siri says firmly to ensure there’s no room for debate. “She is yours. Just look at her.”

Jungkook already had and it’s what made him panic and feel lightheaded. Lily looks so much like both of them that there isn’t a single cell in his body that could convince himself Siri was lying.

“I know this is crazy,” Siri says pleadingly, “and I’m sorry for springing this on you, but I can’t take care of her right now.”

“And you think I can?!” Jungkook quips back, still gobsmacked with this whole situation. “I’ve never even looked after a kid before!”

“It’s only until I sort things out. Just a few weeks. Please?”

“Things?” he frowns again. “What things?"

“I can’t explain right now coz I have to go.”

“Siri—”

"Please,” she reaches for his tattooed hand, grasping it close to her chest as her eyes still hold tears that haven’t dropped yet. “Please, Kookie? She knows you’re her dad and she’s been excited to meet you. I’ve told her about you and—”

Except Jungkook’s jaw falls open and he couldn’t help but cut her off, “So she gets to know who I am, but I never got the chance to know her?!”

The hurt in his voice makes Siri’s tears fall and she squeezes his hand tighter. “Yes. I know this is eff’d up, and I’m so, so sorry.”

Jungkook’s heart twists. He can see how apologetic and regretful she is, but this is all too much and too fast for him.

“Jesus, Siri…” he groans with a slight whine to his tone as he squeezes her hand gently. “How am I supposed to raise a little girl I just met thirty seconds ago? I don’t know the first thing about being a dad. I don’t know anything about her.”

She gives him a small, sad smile. “Then get to know her. This is your chance. She’s four, her birthday is June 13th, she has no allergies, and she’s just like you.” Siri’s sad smile lifts the tiniest bit at the thought of their daughter being like him. “She loves drawing, her favourite drink is banana milk, she loves mint chocolate chip ice-cream, and she loves Spider-Man.”

Jungkook could only stare at Siri with a sad look that pleaded, Why are you doing this to me? Don’t tell me such cute things about her. Don’t give me that sweet, sad face of yours. Don’t convince me to do this. How could you even do this to me? How could you even keep her from me?

“Please, Kookie?” Siri asks softly one last time, squeezing his hand for dear life.

He drops his gaze to the way she’s holding tightly to his hand, and he could feel how desperate she is. He then looks at his daughter who is still shyly peeking at him, and his chest aches again.

Jungkook really doesn’t think he can look after her that well, but if Siri was begging him like this then there must be a reason.

“Shit,” he mutters under his breath before he sighs sadly and nods once. “Alright,” he relents.

Siri’s teary blue eyes light up and it irritates Jungkook that it makes his chest feel warm. He doesn’t really want to let Siri back in so easily after she very clearly tried so hard to stay out of his life for five years.

Although he could easily figure out why she did that now. She obviously didn’t want him knowing she was pregnant and had their daughter.

But why? He would’ve been there for her—for them—if he knew. That’s what hurts and confuses him. Why didn’t she tell me about this?

“My number is in Lily’s bag if you have any questions regarding her.” Siri wipes her tears away before she passes the duffel bag and rolls the suitcase over.

Jungkook takes the bag hesitantly, and reluctantly rolls the suitcase inside, leaving it just by the shoe-rack. He then watches as Siri crouches down in front of Lily.

“My sweet baby.”

The little girl clutches her bunny tighter, giving her mother a pout. “Do you weally have to go, mama?”

Jungkook’s chest goes tight hearing that wee voice and seeing how uncertain she is about everything.

“Yes, sweetie. It’s better for you here, and it’s just for a few weeks, okay?”

“But I want you to stay. Daddy is mad and I don’t fink he likes me…”

Her little blue doe eyes flick up to the tall man beside them before going back to her mother with an even bigger pout on her lips.

Jungkook’s heart sinks so low with guilt that his daughter heard him go off at her mother. Definitely wasn’t a good first impression for their little girl to have of him, and the fact she thinks he already doesn’t like her? That guts him, and he already feels terrible knowing he made her feel that way, especially when she’s only just met him.

Siri plasters on a smile while she brushes a small strand of hair out of her daughter’s eyes. “I’m sorry, baby, I can’t stay. And daddy does like you; he’s just mad at mama. But he will take good care of you, okay? Might not seem like it right now, but he’s very nice. The nicest and sweetest man I know.”

Jungkook swallows thickly, feeling warmth go through his chest, and unexpectedly, water gathers in his eyes.

He has to look away and clear his throat as he urges himself to not get emotional. Siri shouldn’t be making him feel like this. Not after all this time.

“And hey,” the mother continues, trying to keep things light, “if you’re a good girl for daddy, then maybe he’ll get you some mint chocochip ice-cream sometime.”

Lily’s eyes light up and her pout is gone. “Okay! I be good!”

The corner of Jungkook’s lip turn up just a fraction, finding it a little funny and cute how their daughter went from pouty and hesitant, to eager and excited, all for ice-cream.

A small chuckle slips from Siri as she pulls Lily into a tight hug, and Jungkook watches as she holds her a little too long and little too tight. Then he sees a tear slipping down Siri’s cheek.

Something is wrong, he can feel it. But what is it? What’s going on in Siri’s life that made her feel the need to show up in his life again with a daughter he never knew about?

Siri doesn’t want to let go of Lily, but she has to, slowly standing up while wiping her face quickly so her little one doesn’t see her tears.

She then looks at Jungkook with apologetic eyes, but a soft, grateful smile was on her lips too. “Thank you, Kookie. And I’m seriously sorry for all of this. I promise it’s only for a few weeks.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

Jungkook said that so fast without really thinking, he didn’t even realise he sounded bitter until he saw Siri’s smile drop and her eyes dim.

His heart sinks seeing her reaction. He didn’t mean to make her feel any worse than she already did. He guesses his heart just wanted to speak for him before his brain could. It’s still wounded by the one promise Siri made five years ago that she never kept. She promised they would keep in touch, but she was the one who never did.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s okay,” Siri cuts him off with a sad, tight-lipped smile. “I get it. I knew you’d be upset with me over this, and I deserve it.”

Jungkook doesn’t know what to say to that since part of him agrees. He is upset with her and he has every right to be after what she’s done.

But another part of him can’t stand seeing her like this. She looks exhausted, regretful, guilty, and she’s obviously going through something.

“Anyway, I gotta go. Thanks again.” Siri then looks down at her daughter, cupping one side of her face tenderly and longingly. “I love you, baby.”

“Love you too, mama.”

Siri is at least able to smile once more, although there were tears in her eyes again looking at her daughter. She quickly turns and walks away without looking back, letting her tears fall freely the further she gets.

Jungkook stands frozen at the door with Lily until she looks up at him innocently. He looks down at her, taking in those big blue eyes that were definitely in his shape. Her nose was like his too, but her lips, hair, and eye colour were like Siri’s.

Fuck, he thinks as his chest aches again. She’s definitely my kid. Don’t even need a blood test.

“Hi, Lily…” he speaks to her gently, trying to get used to her name, as well as just her in general.

“Hi, daddy,” she replies softly, looking up at him with hopeful eyes.

Shit, she’s cute. But oh boy is that gonna take some time to get used to hearing… Can’t believe I’m a dad now…

“Shall we uh… go inside? We’ll get you into a room, ae?”

Lily nods, holding her bunny close, and just as Jungkook guides her inside and closes the door, a voice comes through from inside his apartment.

“Jungkookie? Who was at the door? I thought I heard you getting loud with someone. Everything okay?”

His stomach drops. Oh shit. I forgot about her…

Her being Jieun, his girlfriend of two years. His girlfriend who’s been living with him for about three months now.

Jungkook turns just as she walks into view, seeing her stop just a few metres away where her eyes are confused, flicking from him to the little girl beside him who was now trying to hide behind his leg, just like she did earlier with her mother.

“Aww, who’s this little cutie?” Jieun asks curiously. “This a young cousin you never told me about or something?”

Jungkook gulps and his heart races 'cause he’s not sure how well his girlfriend is gonna take this. He didn’t exactly take this news too well himself.

“Uh, Jiji… this is Lily…”

“Lily?” Jieun smiles sweetly. “What a pretty name. Hi, Lily, I’m Jieun, but you can call me Jiji.”

Jungkook could feel Lily actually grabbing his leg as if she wanted to hide more. He had to admit, it was pretty damn cute, but right now, he had other things on his mind… He had to break some major news to his girlfriend.

“Jiji… She’s uh… She’s not my cousin…”

“Oh? Who is she then?”

“She’s um… Sh-she’s my… daughter…"

There’s silence for a moment as Jungkook gives Jieun time to take in those words, but within the next second, her eyes widen and her jaw drops.

“What?! You have a daughter?!”

---------->>