Maybe This Is Love!!!!

  Maybe This Is Love

Chapter 1 — The Omega Who Didn't Believe in Love

Phuwin: The sound of shouting downstairs woke me up.

Again.

I slowly opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling.

For a few seconds, I didn't move.

Maybe if I stayed still enough, the voices would disappear.

Maybe this morning would be different.

Then I heard my mother's voice again.

Mother: "You never listen to me!"

My father's voice followed, louder than hers.

Father: "And when do you ever listen to me?"

I closed my eyes.

Never different.

I pulled the blanket over my head.

Hanabi, who had been sleeping peacefully beside my pillow, lifted her head at the sudden noise.

I peeked out from underneath the blanket.

Phuwin: "Sorry, baby."

Hanabi stared at me with sleepy eyes before slowly crawling closer.

Another loud voice came from downstairs.

Hanabi immediately pressed herself against my side.

I reached out and scratched behind her ears.

Phuwin: "It's okay."

I wasn't sure whether I was talking to her or myself.

Maybe both.

I finally sat up.

The room was still dark because I had kept the curtains closed.

I liked it that way.

No sunlight.

No noise.

No reminders that another day had started.

Just me, my cat, and the little amount of peace I could create for myself.

Hanabi stretched before walking across my lap.

Phuwin: "You hungry?"

She looked at me.

I raised an eyebrow.

Phuwin: "You are always hungry."

She meowed.

I smiled.

Phuwin: "Fine."

I picked her up and placed her beside me before getting out of bed.

The shouting downstairs had become quieter.

That somehow felt worse.

Quiet after an argument usually meant one of two things.

Either they had stopped.

Or they were waiting to start again.

I walked toward the mirror.

My reflection stared back at me.

Messy hair.

Tired eyes.

Twenty-four years old.

Omega.

I looked away.

That one word had followed me my entire life.

Omega.

My parents had expected an Alpha.

Someone strong.

Someone they could be proud of.

Someone who would carry the family name.

Instead, they got me.

Their only child.

Their Omega son.

And somehow, that had always felt like something I needed to apologize for.

I never understood why.

It wasn't something I chose.

But I learned very early that some things weren't worth arguing about.

So I stopped asking.

Stopped asking why they were disappointed.

Stopped asking why everything I did was compared to what an Alpha might have done.

Stopped expecting praise.

Stopped expecting affection.

Eventually, I stopped expecting anything.

Hanabi jumped onto my desk.

Phuwin: "Don't."

She looked at me innocently.

Phuwin: "Don't pretend you weren't about to knock something over."

She blinked.

Then slowly pushed my pen toward the edge of the desk.

I caught it before it fell.

Phuwin: "Hanabi."

She meowed.

I stared at her.

She stared back.

And somehow, I started laughing.

Phuwin: "You are impossible."

She walked over and rubbed her head against my hand.

I smiled.

At least someone loved me without conditions.

My phone vibrated on the desk.

I looked down.

Perth: Awake?

I typed back.

Phuwin: Sadly.

The reply came almost immediately.

Perth: Breakfast.

Phuwin: Not hungry.

Perth: That's not an answer.

I rolled my eyes.

Phuwin: I said I'm not hungry.

Perth: And I said breakfast.

I stared at the screen.

Phuwin: You're annoying.

Perth: And you're eating.

A small smile appeared on my face.

Phuwin: Fine.

Perth: I'll pick you up in an hour.

Phuwin: Okay.

I placed my phone down.

Hanabi immediately jumped onto my bed.

I looked at her.

Phuwin: "Apparently we're going out."

She tilted her head.

Phuwin: "Don't look so shocked."

She meowed.

I laughed softly.

Phuwin: "Yeah, I know."

I took a quick shower and changed into a simple black shirt and jeans.

Before leaving my room, I looked around.

My books were stacked neatly beside my bed.

My camera sat on the desk.

A few small paintings covered one side of the wall.

Hanabi's bed was near the window.

It wasn't a huge room.

But it was mine.

I picked up my camera and placed it carefully inside my bag.

Photography had always been one of the few things that made my head quiet.

I liked capturing things people usually ignored.

A shadow on a wall.

Rain on a window.

Someone smiling when they thought nobody was watching.

Maybe because I knew what it felt like to have feelings nobody noticed.

I opened my bedroom door.

The hallway was silent.

I walked downstairs.

My parents were in the living room.

My mother was sitting on the sofa, scrolling through her phone.

My father stood near the window.

Neither of them looked at me.

I stopped for a moment.

Phuwin: "Good morning."

My mother's eyes briefly moved toward me.

Mother: "You're finally awake."

I looked at the clock.

Phuwin: "It's nine."

Mother: "You could have woken up earlier."

I didn't answer.

My father picked up his keys.

Father: "We're leaving."

My mother looked at him.

Mother: "You always leave when we need to talk."

Father: "And what exactly is there left to say?"

I quietly moved toward the kitchen.

I didn't want to be part of this.

I never did.

My mother noticed me.

Mother: "Phuwin."

I stopped.

Phuwin: "Yes?"

Mother: "Did you eat?"

Phuwin: "No."

She sighed.

Mother: "You never take care of yourself."

For one second, I almost thought she sounded worried.

Then she added,

Mother: "How are you supposed to find an Alpha if you keep behaving like this?"

The warmth disappeared immediately.

I looked at her.

Phuwin: "I don't need to find anyone."

She frowned.

Mother: "You're twenty-four."

Phuwin: "So?"

Mother: "You can't stay alone forever."

I looked down.

Phuwin: "I can."

My father finally looked at me.

Father: "Enough."

I couldn't tell whether he was defending me or simply ending the conversation.

Either way, I didn't want to stay.

Phuwin: "I'll eat outside."

I picked up my bag and walked toward the door.

My mother said something behind me, but I didn't listen.

The moment the door closed, I breathed.

One breath.

Then another.

Outside was always easier.

A few minutes later, Perth's car stopped near the gate.

He rolled down the window.

Perth: "Get in."

I opened the passenger door.

Phuwin: "Good morning to you too."

Perth: "Good morning."

He looked at me.

Then frowned.

Phuwin: "What?"

Perth: "Nothing."

Phuwin: "Perth."

Perth: "You look tired."

Phuwin: "I slept."

Perth: "That's not what I said."

I looked out the window.

He didn't ask again.

That was Perth.

He knew when to stop.

We drove in silence for a few minutes.

Then he glanced at me.

Perth: "Did they argue again?"

I didn't answer.

He didn't need one.

His hands tightened slightly around the steering wheel.

Perth: "I hate that house."

I looked at him.

Phuwin: "It's still my home."

Perth: "You know what I mean."

I did.

I just didn't want to admit it.

Perth sighed.

Perth: "Anyway. Breakfast."

Phuwin: "I'm really not hungry."

Perth: "Phuwin."

Phuwin: "Okay, okay."

He smiled.

Perth: "Good."

We stopped at our usual café.

The place was small and quiet.

I liked it.

We sat near the window.

Perth ordered for both of us because apparently he had decided I was incapable of choosing food.

When the food arrived, he pushed my plate toward me.

Perth: "Eat."

I looked at him.

Phuwin: "You sound like my mother."

Perth: "Your mother doesn't scare you into eating."

I raised an eyebrow.

Phuwin: "Exactly."

He laughed.

I finally picked up my fork.

For a while, everything was normal.

We talked about random things.

His plans for the weekend.

A stupid video he'd seen online.

Work.

Anything that didn't involve my family.

Anything that didn't involve love.

Until a couple walked past the café window.

An Alpha and an Omega.

The Alpha was holding an umbrella over both of them.

The Omega was laughing.

Nothing dramatic.

Nothing extraordinary.

Just two people being comfortable with each other.

I looked away.

Perth noticed.

He always noticed.

Perth: "Still don't believe in it?"

I knew what he meant.

I shook my head.

Phuwin: "No."

Perth: "Love?"

Phuwin: "Yeah."

He leaned back.

Perth: "Why?"

I gave a small laugh.

Phuwin: "You know why."

Perth: "I know what happened."

Phuwin: "Then you know."

Perth was quiet.

I stared at my coffee.

Phuwin: "I don't understand why people call love beautiful."

My voice came out quieter than I expected.

Phuwin: "From what I've seen, love makes people hurt each other."

Perth didn't interrupt.

Phuwin: "My parents have been together my whole life. And look at them."

I looked down.

Phuwin: "Maybe love isn't supposed to last."

Perth's expression softened.

Perth: "Phuwin..."

Phuwin: "I don't want to talk about it."

He nodded.

Perth: "Okay."

No lecture.

No telling me I was wrong.

No forcing me to change my mind.

Just okay.

And somehow, I appreciated him even more for that.

---

Pond:

"Your meeting starts in ten minutes."

I didn't look up from my laptop.

Pond: "I know."

Santa dropped a file on my desk.

Santa: "You've been saying that for twenty minutes."

I finally looked at him.

Pond: "Are you working here or annoying me?"

Santa: "Both."

I sighed.

Santa smiled proudly.

He was twenty-one and somehow had never learned the meaning of silence.

Santa: "You need to eat too."

Pond: "I had coffee."

Santa: "Coffee isn't food."

Pond: "It has calories."

Santa: "That's not the point."

I leaned back in my chair.

Pond: "You sound like Mum."

Santa: "Good. Maybe you'll listen to her."

I shook my head, smiling.

My younger brother had always been like this.

Loud.

Playful.

Warm.

Completely impossible.

But I wouldn't trade him for anything.

After our father passed away, Mum had worked hard to keep our family together.

She never let grief turn our home cold.

If anything, she made it warmer.

Dinner together.

Weekend breakfasts.

Random hugs.

Checking if we'd eaten.

Asking about our day.

Sometimes I wondered if Mum realized how different our home could have been.

She had taught us something without ever saying it directly.

Love wasn't supposed to make you afraid.

It was supposed to make you feel safe.

My phone rang.

Mum.

I answered.

Pond: "Hi, Mum."

Mum: "Are you coming home tonight?"

Pond: "Yes."

Mum: "Promise?"

I smiled.

Pond: "Promise."

Mum: "Good. I made your favorite."

Santa immediately shouted from across the room.

Santa: "Mine too!"

Mum laughed through the phone.

Mum: "I heard that."

Santa grinned.

I shook my head.

Pond: "Anything else?"

Mum: "Yes."

Pond: "What?"

Mum: "Bring yourself home on time."

Pond: "I will."

Mum: "And Pond?"

Pond: "Yeah?"

Mum: "I love you."

I smiled.

Pond: "Love you too, Mum."

I ended the call.

Santa was watching me.

Pond: "What?"

Santa: "You smile differently when Mum calls."

Pond: "Shut up."

He laughed.

I returned my attention to my laptop.

I had no idea that somewhere in the same city, there was an Omega who had stopped believing in the very thing my mother had taught me to treasure.

I didn't know his name.

Didn't know his voice.

Didn't know that he had a cat named Hanabi.

Didn't know that he had spent years learning how not to need anyone.

And he didn't know me either.

Not yet.

---

Phuwin:

By evening, I was back home.

Hanabi greeted me at the door.

Phuwin: "There you are."

She rubbed against my legs.

I bent down and picked her up.

Phuwin: "Did you miss me?"

She purred.

Phuwin: "I missed you too."

I carried her upstairs.

The house was quiet again.

I placed her on my bed and sat beside her.

My phone buzzed.

A message from Perth.

Perth: Home?

Phuwin: Yeah.

Perth: You okay?

I stared at the message.

Then typed.

Phuwin: I'm fine.

I knew he wouldn't believe me.

A second later:

Perth: Okay. Goodnight.

I smiled.

He didn't push.

I placed my phone aside.

Hanabi curled beside me.

I looked toward the window.

The city lights were glowing outside.

Somewhere out there, people were falling in love.

Meeting someone.

Trusting someone.

Building a life together.

I wondered what that felt like.

To believe another person wouldn't leave.

To believe someone could hold your heart without breaking it.

To believe love could actually be safe.

I shook my head.

Phuwin: "Not for me."

Hanabi opened one eye.

I smiled at her.

Phuwin: "Don't look at me like that."

She closed her eyes again.

I lay down beside her.

Maybe love existed.

Maybe it didn't.

Either way, I wasn't looking for it.

I had Hanabi.

I had Perth.

I had my own little world.

That was enough.

At least...

that's what I believed that night.

Because I didn't know yet that tomorrow would bring someone new into my life.

Someone who wouldn't ask me to believe in love.

Someone who would simply show me what it looked like.

And maybe...

just maybe...

that would be enough to make me wonder if I had been wrong all along.

Maybe this is love.