FINALLY, I CAN BREATHE

Trauma, drama, and more for your mama. I don't know what to else or what else do. I have to take this one day at a time or yes I will fall apart. Being the child of an alcoholic/crack addict has never been easy, so of course what do I turn into. I didn't do the drug thing but the drinking yes. I would drink until I pass out, or ended somewhere I had no clue how I even got there. The things that led me to doing what I did and how I got there are not all my fault, but a lot of it was and could have been prevented; had I put my trust in God and not man.

A lot of my years I had grown up without a father. For eleven whole years, where was he? And for the years that he was there, well, that's a story we get to later. I'm writing this story without names, sort of like a monologue, because I no longer want to tie any emotion to what has happened to me. I want all my emotion to tie to the wonderful things that God brought me through. For instance, he has given me seven wonderful children. A lot of things that has happened has also happened to my children or my children witness things they shouldn't have. I am trying to break this vicious cycle that has control over majority of the black community. Social Media has even taken it to a new extreme and everybody is turning on each other everyday. Families are breaking apart; friends are becoming the worst enemies, and women are giving in to being thots; called ratchet; and bitches by the man they say they love and would do anything for.

Well, I am not giving into all crap and whatever is going on in this cruel world. I vow to make a change some type of way. I vow to my children that their life will become more meaningful and exciting. I vow to my spouse, whenever I get one, that I will be the woman that God intended for me to be for him, even when it hurts. I vow to myself that I will not self harm any longer. I will rise above it all and become an example for the world to see. I can and I will win!