What is your opinion?
Houndal
"A quick but simple fairytale. The story had a great moral. Reminded the reader a lot of Rumpelstiltskin."
Fast-paced and enjoyable
"I love how in such a short space you crammed in so much. You instantly gave me a picture of the three characters and the plot. I really liked how you take stereotypical stories and give them a new twist. That's definitely a skill. I wanted there to be more, but I think that it stands alone as it is. Good work! I really liked it! :)"
Delightful and whimsical
"This reminds me of something one would read from far back in the old days. I found it be quite fun and delightful to read. I hope you continue working in the way of fables like this. If there were a compilation of such short tales I would eagerly add it to my collection!"
Fairy Tale
"- The summary was vague. At first glance, I didn't know if I was the target audience. Was this something I would pick out and read? - The opening had impact. I just thought... Who is this narcissistic guy? I think maybe there should have been more emphasis on descriptions of his looks to show how obsessed he is while also giving the reader an idea of what he looks like. - I was surprised that Houndal agreed to this stranger's request. He doesn't know who this is. It seems more realistic for Houndal to disagree. "Why?" or "I'm busy." And then the man says, "Hear me out." A stranger just gave him a bag of responsibility. - The barmaid's reaction was equally puzzling. I thought she would call him crazy. Instead, she goes with it like it's normal. For a moment, I thought she may have heard rumors about the mysterious man, but she was just as clueless. - Houndal saw her transform so it was strange for him to question the animal's identity. - And suddenly he's okay with her running off into the woods."
Great writing, but something missing
"I'm going to start with a good thing: since this story, your writing has really developed for the better. I think you had a tendency to brush over things that needed to be focused on more. Like when the little man is discovered, it seemed strange that Houndal would just accept his presence as something real -- much less accept his offer. It felt rushed to me, and that's my main point of criticism. That's the reason for the pull down to 3 stars in plot (I didn't want to take another from writing style because your style is actually really nice). I couldn't see a deeper meaning to the story, other than, of course, stick to your end of the deal. But it was a very fun little story that I thoroughly enjoyed and which kept me interested throughout. I loved the incorporation of traditional myths (I would've liked that you delved into the Narcissus stereotype more, but that's just me being in love with the Echo/Narcissus storyline) and the setting was really well done. Even though you never explained the bar, I could still *feel* it somehow. You were good at getting from one scene of interest to another. And, like last time, your grammar is near flawless! Keep writing!"
Great story built on traditional folk tale elements!
"Short and sweet. I really loved the British, peasant-town feel to it. The details were quite well done, plus they were delivered quickly and succinctly, in a way that didn't feel sluggish or burdensome. I loved the characterization of the barmaid and the adjectives that accompanied her, like how her eyes gleamed and she grinned wickedly. Houndel was sweet and fairly innocent and I felt attached to him immediately (not sure about his name and I'm wondering if that's a nickname purposely meant to relate to a hound...? Is it a British thing? I need to look it up). The only thing was that I was a bit confused about the description of what she became. It sounded to me like she turned into a rat--what with the long, yellow teeth and all., but then it calls her a mongrel. I get it that she should be a hound (right? I think...), but the details in general struck me as a tad off. All in all it was a great story that worked quickly and fairly seamlessly!"
Birth of the hound
"The Birth of the Hound gave me nostalgia of the little stories I used to read in storybooks that always had a moral, or something like this. I enjoyed reading it. At first, I though Houndal(?) was going to open the bag, but as the maid pushed and he refused, It became clear to me who would open it. This was a very enjoyable story. Thank you for writing it!"
Intriguing
"As I started reading "The Birth of the Hound," the plot of the story reminded me on those old fairy tales your grandparents would have told you when you were young. I got a feeling like there was a huge life lesson to be told. Houndal, although rather vain, did actually stick to his guns and didn't open the bag (like I expected him to do!) He had a lot more restraint than that. I was surprised that it was the barmaid that opened the bag, and she turned into a Hound. It makes me wonder what Houndal would actually turn into. I was a bit confused at the end when Houndal was sort of talking to the dog. He was asking its name, but surely he would know the name of the dog because it is his boss, the barmaid, whose name you never find out. Maybe I'm missing the point haha! One minor spelling error. When describing the tiny little man, you described him wearing a "grey suite," instead of a "grey suit." Don't worry, I do this all the time ;) Pretty intriguing so far, keep it up!!"
Simple FairyTale
"A short fairy tale with clear and concise references to various fairytales and characters. A new take and clear influence from the Grim Brothers and other folk fairytales, it is an interesting and quick read. HOWEVER, it is still an experimental take as the story still doesn't present a moral or teaching. At the same time, the play of words is something still needed some fine tuning. These type of stories are very complex in their simplicity. It is a superb take and try, but re reading and checking both fluence, flow and words is crucial. Sometimes less is more, which means simplicity shines in these stories, short and concise words. Imperfect, yet entertaining, it's a story to keep a watch on as the author hones his skills in this forgotten field."
Chasing hounds
"Now, I must say that I was very surprised, reading your little story. It incorporates different elements of Western legends that have been made popular by French or German writers. The little man and his cursed deal, definitely a take on Rumpelstilzchen. The young boy that marvels at his own beauty, King Thrushbeard meets Narcissus, I daresay. And of course, like every fairytale, there is an interesting moral at the end of the story. Now, this also has a coming-of-age feel. The young boy discovering what lies deep inside of him, in other words a hound. It has some sad connotations, definitely. The hound is generally a lonely animal, that is seen to walk, scrawny and unfed, in dark forests. A bad omen. Maybe is that an illustration of everything that young boy Houndel lacks? He lacked love, attention, or only got some because of his appearance? Thus, he became a hound, wandering from place to place, looking what he lacked? Food for thoughts. However, there might be a thing in the style that irritated me a little bit, and I do not wish to be harsh, but you know (and this is my biggest problem as well), we tend to start with pronouns or names, verbs and objects. It is the standard way we have been taught sentences. However, even if the sentence is generally well-written, this structure becomes repetitive and it might appear at first glance falsely amateurish."
