What is your opinion?
Five Times as good
"This is a great book. I like how all of those feelings are put together. This is a great book. Keep up the good work! Btw do you have a fan club that I could join??"
Five Times
"I like it. I recommend it to everyone. I love it!!"
Awesome book!
"This is actually pretty good you know. How did you come up with that plot? I will try to do mine like that too."
Five Times
"This is a hard book to write - at least from my experience, because I write from experience and not fantasy. But, I was asked as a psychiatrist to comment. What I see is the plight of a young woman, whether facing total destruction or arranged marriage, finding a safe place in fantasy, completely off the human dependency on O2 and empowered by magic. Aren't we all to some degree, but this is more culture driven and therefore of interest from that perspective.. English is such a great language, because it allows us into worlds we have never been. In this case it is the world of a young Indian woman. I think that there are some grammatical corrections that need to be made even though they may derive from a different dialect of English. Try to clear up the technical issues of language to make it easier on everyone all over the world reading it. The sudden collision of different characters can be confusing. I did have to read it a couple of times. I really don't know if that collision empowers the story and is intended or if it needs some tightening up to make it a smoother and easier read. That is a choice the author must make, because it may be the very intention to create such a collision - i.e. a girl facing an arranged marriage and then suddenly a Anglo couple married in a Christian church. Interesting."
ammazing
"I cant believe you wrote this. it also has an artistic structure. this has to get published!"
A great read!
"Well, I am a huge fantasy fan and this story had me drawn in. Loved the story development and character portrait. The best part about this book is the plot, I just love the storyline, the way you bring out the conflicts and the plot twists and turns. It kept me intrigued in every way. The SeaWorld itself had a way in keeping the reader interested. Would definitely recommend this story to all fantasy fans out there. Great work!"
Amazing
"I really enjoyed reading this story for multiple reasons. First off I'd like to praise you on your storytelling ability. I felt drawn in. You do an amazing job describing things. One thing I am a sucker for is detail. Honestly, that is something many people struggle with. In my eyes the main goal for writers to achieve is to be able to paint a picture for the reader. To allow little to no imagination up to the reader. You do an excellent job. My one small critique is your formatting. Yes I realize this is a website and not a published work, so formatting is kind of free range. Adding things in all caps adding more than one exclamation point ect. are things I personally find daunting. They are such small things , and yes I realize that people may have difficulty expressing emotions through characters, but I view it as silly for lack of a better word. Other than that I believe you have an enticing and promising story. "
Five times
"I loved this book through and through.. so many sub plots..so many people's lives getting intertwined.. its amazing how the author weaves the various plots together effortlessly..and ends every chapter with a note of suspense leaving the reader wanting more..I would recommend this book to everyone who enjoys a good story and loves fantasy!!"
Amazing
"The story is descriptive and the fantasy part intrigued me a lot. I have read many books about fantasy but the sea world makes it's more outstanding. Love it."
Beautiful
"I loved the way you started it and I love it when i can picture exactly what the author is trying to say. Looking forward to read more. "
Five times
"I love the plot and the way you say it. Overall its a good story. I can see that you are correcting some of the errors that has been mentioned by the readers. That is great. I don't know what to say because even i am a begginer. I wish you to keep up the good work and good luck for i hope your story gets published.😊"
Great!!
"From what I've read so far the story is pretty good! There were a few times I was a bit confused with the plot and was taken out of the "narrative dream" but the confusion didn't last too long. I think if you studied active voice your sentences would be even stronger. I really liked your description of detail and the main character's voice is very clear and understood! Another thing that could improve the story is having more showing of the actions and characters rather than having the main character tell the reader about everyone. This just allows readers to come to their own conclusions of the character's we meet from their actions, voice, and dialogue. Great story though :D"
Love this story
"I love this story a lot. Keeps me reading as every chapter intrigues me. Although there are some spelling and grammatical errors (only slight). I'd give it 4.5/5 stars (overall) if I could. Keep going :)"
More Show less Tell
"This is a great story and one you can keep updating as your writing style grows and improves! I would say maybe less 2nd person and less descriptions but that is my personal opinion. Overall great work!"
Unique and interesting
"Although the book needs some proofreading for grammar reasons most of the oddities are probably due to the use of Indian English which I am not very used to. I find the plot to be a bit too melodramatic for my taste but I absolutely adore the unique fantasy touches. I do not know if the mer-peoples lore is fantasy or based on the rich Indian culture. It is not every day I can read a book which includes the Indian stories and beliefs. I find it interesting to see if Abi will get over or at least lessen her fear of men enough to have a romantic chance with Adhi. In the beginning it was a bit confusing if the point of view jumped from Abi to Intelina because they seemed to have no connection. Then Linda? was added too. But when the ring did its magic first it all clicked and made sense. I did find it odd though that Walros was depicted as a whale and not a shark. For until now I knew whales to be only the peaceful and majestic giants. Not someone who would eat a human. Please update soon! "
great!!!!!!!!!
"it was a very good story i really enjoyed reading it. well done!!"
Intricately Woven
"Five Times is a story that is intricately woven with the threads of the lives of so many characters. The different characters and their different plot lines hooked me onto the story knowing that eventually, they'll all meet revealing their connection to one another. I like the uncertainty of not knowing what will happen next and that it keeps me on my toes waiting for the next plot twist. This, in fact, happens to be the writing skills of the author at work that pulls you into the story. Another commendable aspect of this story is how the author mixes a lot of Indian references into the proceedings of the story. The dialogues, the names of most of the characters and the characters themselves are Indians which to me was interesting to read. The uncertainty of this story is what lured me into this book and it is for the characters (and their respective storylines) that I will stay."
great story
"This is a really great story but I am confused about it. what are you trying to say with the story? I don't understand it. Your descriptions are really great. it made me feel like I was right there."
Review Chapter 1-5
"Chapter 1 “partner (no comma) enjoying the view Probably a second world (!) one exclamation point you say “we were searching for” but at that point, we don’t know who “we” is I don’t suggest having the first few paragraphs a lot of telling and not showing. Just a bunch of imagery is not always gripping, especially when the first few paragraphs are long and bulky (“) Where is my daughter?” the quotations are facing the wrong way There’s a lot of information here and it’s hard to remember all of it…I hope that this stuff comes back up later in a more fluid way, so that I can remember it. I like the idea of different gods and I love the name Intelina I think it’s a personal style, but its a little too much to have THAT many capitals. It doesn’t make your point any more intense, it’s more off putting. A simple exclamation point can make your point more professionally. Just an opinion of course, Aw her family :( Why would she ask “how would this happen” and then say “come and take my life tooooooooooo?” just seems like an unnatural thought process? just my opinion was standing (no comma) with his face half covered Was King Whalros introduced earlier? I don’t remember hearing that name through the information you gave us, but it’s not a big enough cliff hanger…maybe introduce him earlier if you haven’t already? Chapter 2: “someone(,)” her father, okay i’m going to slow it down on such detailed comments and just enjoy the story now The time skips are very dramatic “Oh God!!!! you’re missing a closing quotation somewhere This had much more fluid conversations :) Chapter 3: I hope these characters start to intertwine with each other Okay back in time Back to Intelina I like the paragraph of her at the beach dum dum dum Whalros is there Interesting. I love when books explain the title later in the book. 5 colored ropes. I’m guessing that’s the title meaning Chapter 4 This chapter really does a good job developing all the characters and their feelings toward teach other blindly(,)” said her “But(,) I think…..that(,)” said her heart…not sure what said her heart means magazines(,)” (s)he lied Chapter 5 OO romance! My favorite. Ahhh not as romantic as I’d hope it’d be…was that your intention? Ahhhh why was he arrested?! How did Lara not know?? That's all the time I have for today. I hope this helped!"
Well, you want a review that is being realistic here bud.
"Well, it is a bit blocky, and sorry but you need to probably hear this again. But you need to SHOW AND DON"T TELL! Sorry, but that is the real world, the plot is intriguing though and I give you that! Just need to fix some things and yeah. See you on the flip side!"
