Memories

I don’t know what happened. I have no recollection of the past three months. I think I’m in a hospital, but I don’t know. All I remember is the car accident-and then nothing-there were dreams- I think- but in between just darkness.

I can feel people around me... someone is holding my hand and another is oddly painting my nails I think, but the worst part are the voices- I don’t know any of them. There’s an older male voice talking softly to a female voice, there was another male that somehow seemed familiar. None of the other voices were, but this one was different. It felt like someone I might have known.

My thoughts were rudely interrupted when a new voice came in saying something about waking up, three months, and a bunch of other things. I believe he was a doctor, but I was too busy thinking. I had been here for three months! What had I missed? my heart started racing and the machine that monitored my heart rate started beeping faster. The familiar male voice came closer and whispered ” it’s ok” to me, I could feel his breath on my forehead just before he gave me a light kiss. There was something about him that calmed me.

I don’t know what it was, but I wanted to know who he was. So I struggled and pushed against what felt like glue on my eyelids- it was really difficult, especially when everything else hurt. I kept trying and slowly my right eye cracked open, and then my left. I slowly looked around trying to find the source of the voice.

The doctor looked up then and smiled, saying, "well look who decided to join us", the female voice from before belonged to a short, stout, blue-eyed, blonde, and obviously worried woman. I don't know her, I don't even know myself. All I know is that voice is familiar, and I had been in a coma for 3 months after a car accident. I stopped and looked around, listening for his voice, when he finally spoke, he was perfect with sea-blue eyes and light golden brown hair. But as I watched, I noticed he had an engagement ring on his hand which meant he was taken already. My heart sunk a little as I looked back at the worried woman who is standing next to a tall, broad-shouldered man that was holding her shoulders. As I scanned the room my eyes landed on the chair next to my bed, recognition swept over my mind."Sni-" I tried to say but my throat was dry and the animal was a stuffed, ratty, and old dog named Snickers. I recalled a dream I had dreamt while sleeping, a boy with the same blue eyes and golden hair giving me Snickers in the hospital.

Then the same boy, but older kissing me in a park, memories hit me over and over, Andrew, with his blue eyes getting down on one knee, his golden brown hair blowing in the wind, as Mom cries as I murmured yes, Dad smiling proudly next to her, me and Andrew being thrown bachelor and bachelorette parties, Andrew picking me up from the club, then us going through the intersection three miles from home and a semi hitting the car. But after that there was nothing. Andrew looked at me with raw guilt in his eyes, he thinks it's his fault I thought but I knew it wasn't, that light had been green when he had stepped on the gas.

"Andy" I consoled as I pushed off the bed swinging my legs out from under the blanket when I stopped short, I looked under the blanket slowly down and down realizing why he looked so guilty. Directly at my knees on both legs my legs were gone," the semi crushed the passenger side... the metal cut most of them off but... You had already blacked out... So when the ambulance came... There was nothing they could do and all I got was a concussion… I'm sorry Nicki I'm so sorry " Andrew explained.

But I didn't hear him, I didn't hear anything, panic was welling up in me climbing my throat and tearing at me trying to escape. But I had never been one to panic before thinking it through, so I leveled my head and pushed down the panic and looked over to Mom and Dad they nodded in encouragement. The doctor came in with a nurse in light sky blue scrubs. He explained to me that before I could get in the wheelchair I would have to go through a whole 2 weeks of physical therapy.