The soldiers, that I have Lost
Perfect day to start off by sitting in a psychiatrist's office. Why am I here? I keep asking myself that. These Doctors do nothing for a man like me. They are useless, only here for the money. They don't care about what I went through. They don't care about the struggles, and the experiences I have gone through. Nobody cares.
Then I actually remembered why I am here.
5 months ago I was on a mission. We were ordered to get the hostage to the rock tower of ganderee and be extracted from a confidential checkpoint. We rescued the hostage. The hostage made it to the rock tower safely due to my comrades and I. However, on the way to the checkpoint. Everything turned sideways literally and figuratively.
We were on foot trudging through the rocky mountains. Only a couple of times we have found flat land covered in mud. Each of us were ready to see our wives. Some of us had children but we all had someone to go home to. To stay alive for. The only one who didn't have someone to go home to was Pete and frankly he was the lucky one. He didn't have anyone to leave behind. He was the quiet one out of the group. A quiet Irish red head with dull eyes. I've talked to Pete a few times, but only got a few sentences out of him. However, my other comrades, Joseph, Will, Conner, Tre, and Demanicus. Were talkative they never were quiet. Not even when under fire. They always found some way to crack jokes and make the traumatic experience not so traumatic.
While we were walking Liam and Joseph were both laughing after hearing a joke Conner had said. And suddenly the ground shook and an explosion greeted us. We were trained for this, but it's strange that nobody was out here. Nothing, no gun, no sound of anything, but something or someone set the explosion off.
"Everyone get down!!!"
All seven soldiers dropped down, bracing for the unknown. They didn't know what was going on but they did know that something was wrong. What laid in front of them was all flat land as its been cleared for a while, but the sudden explosion made all the soldiers unsure of what was going on. There were no enemies in the area that raised any awareness that this was a trap. But the explosion came from something.
Liam assessed the area. The few strands of blond hair not strapped into his combat helmet were blowing in the wind. His face was firm, calculated, trying to put the pieces together. And the other soldiers were still pressed against the ground waiting for the next order. Liam's face changes from calculated to recognition. He looked all around him the wind blowing the leaves falling. It all made sense. He was trained for stuff like this, but never actually waltzed right straight into something so horrific. Especially with a team whose signed up for their first mission. This wasn't supposed to be included in their first mission. Given I doubt anyone knew about the obstacle in front of us, but I'm basically guiding my unit through death and destruction. Liam hung his head and turned to his comrades, all of them still face down on the ground." Guys, it's clear nobody is out here"
All of them lifted their heads slowing disbelieving the truth behind his words. Pete was the first to speak. "Really, what was that then?" His Baby blue eyes held questions that Liam planned to answer.
"Well, Pete fortunately we don't have any enemies out here ready to shoot us down and kill us, but we have a bigger problem than that."
"What is it, Liam? What's Happening out there?"
Liam's body felt heavy. He didn't want to answer, but he knew he needed to. They didn't sign up for this, especially for their first mission.
" We're in a Land Mine." Liam looked at all his comrades, his unit he didn't know how to comfort them, especially not knowing if all of them were gonna make it out of this. If he was gonna make it out. He looked at all of them in the eyes. " We are going to make it to or wives and kids. Were gonna make it. We won't die. " And on that note he patted each soldier's helmet to comfort them.
"Now, what set off the land mine? It was a leaf, I know you're wondering how? Well, these mines must've been here for a while. They are set off by the slightest of touch with makes it a hell of a lot more dangerous than a newly constructed land mine." He swept his eyes over every soldier catching numerous facial expressions most of determination. But he knew they were scared. He scared himself. Not for himself, but for his unit.
"Now we're gonna take it slow and steady Follow each other, trust in each other and lastly trust me. It's okay to be scared we can make it to the other side. Believe in us, your unit, your leader. Now come on get up lets go." He believed that was a good pep talk, hopefully it was good enough for them to trust in each other to make it through unharmed.
Everyone got up to straighten themselves and followed Liam. Liam took the first step, the first step through death and destruction itself, he heard no click from his first step so he continues. He's putting his life and the life of his comrades in gods hands.
They are now halfway through the mine. No casualties, everyone however is still on edge. One misstep can end it all.
CLICK.
Everyone stopped upon hearing the noise. Nobody knew who it was although someone was under one. Liam knew better than to get his hopes up. One of his comrades stepped on death and destruction.
Liam gathered his strength and held back his tears and spoke.
" Men, one of us stepped on one and by the looks of it, it will be deadly. It would be selfish of me to disregard the noise and not recognize that one of us stepped on a mine but that wouldn't help anyone. However, we must keep going"
And with that statement he picked up his foot and moved another step. He felt nothing, he heard nothing, so that means he wasn't the one to step on it. He closed his eyes, letting the tears fall. This is a soldiers reality. He continued on, to be met with an explosion and the sound of objects hitting the ground, he didn't want to look and see who it was but he heard the yells of his unit. The yell of the name "will" the funniest soldier, he has ever met has died on his watch. Leaving behind his comrades. His wife and children. He knows he won't ever forgive himself.
Trudging through the mine, he heard 5 mines go off. He heard the yells of his unit. The yells of terror. So much death. He didn't want to look to see who was left who made it. He felt like it was better to know that all had died so he doesn't have to live with the thought that the ones who lived will hate him forever. Despite his wants, he did what he needed to do. He turned around to see Pete the only one alive, to see a land mine filled with blood and the parts of my unit.
Now that it was over, Liam grabbed Pete and held him where they both cried for themselves, for each other, and the friends that they have lost, for the families that are left behind.
They stayed looking where they last saw their friends, the ones that made combat life a little easier. They were both broken.
Broken from the loss of their friends, the fact that they can't grieve the way they want.
Liam turned his emotions off and whispered to Pete, " we have to keep moving we have to be at the extraction point and we need to leave now. Come on.
Pete showed hesitation not wanting to leave his friends. But he knew he need to leave, he needed to live for them. So he followed Liam. His leader who lost most of his unit.
They made it to the extraction point. And they were taken to the nearest Army base. Upon returning, nobody paid attention to the loss of numbers. They just looked and continued on.
From that point on I've hated anything dealing with the government I've hated anything dealing with the Military. They don't care about the soldiers lost they just easily replace them with soldiers that don't know what they are sacrificing their life for. I sacrificed my life for my country to lose my unit, to suffer from PTSD. No matter what they offer me, I'm not going back. I'm going home to my wife. I'll find my way with her by my side. She's the beautiful light in the all the darkness.
