What is your opinion?
Very Unique World and Very Compelling Characters
"The author does a really good job building a world that the reader can completely immerse themselves in. You feel as if you could actually live in the story. The plot keeps readers on the edge of their seats, and once I started reading, I couldn't put it down. The story is very professional and it can really go places. I definitely recommend this book to anyone who loves sci-fi novels. **Comments for the author are below this post. :)"
A great read
"I really enjoyed the lore and the world that was created. Anyone who enjoys scifi will enjoy this story."
Absolutely enthralling
"I absolutely love this story. Well done! The plot was interesting, and there was just the right amount of suspense and mystery to keep me enthralled. If there's one thing that might need improvement, it's that you use a lot of words particular to your universe, especially early on in the book. You may want to tone it down there. I also notice that some paragraphs where you transition between different places starts off describing one scene, and then suddenly shifts to another, which can be a bit jarring, though that's my personal opinion; some readers might not have a problem with it at all. Overall, this was an absolutely stellar novel! Good work!"
An Enjoyable Sci-fi Ride
"I'm going to be very blunt here and say that the areas I think you need work on has nothing to do with the plot or the characters but rather writing style. Because in all honesty, I think you have the plot and the world down. The characters were colorful, the sci-fi world was rich, even the technology and cultures and different species were intriguing and well thought out. It's a good story with good character development, and the areas you're stronger in is actually the thing many people are weaker in. In regards to my critique to the writing style, I think there's just two big problems plaguing the story. And if you can fix those two areas, you've got a set novel. The first is that you have a tendency to "character hop" as it's coined. In fact, it is a problem that I've struggled with. It means that you switch between characters' focus/view a little too quickly that it leaves the reader slightly confused. I understand that you might've been going for the "omnipresent third person" style, but at the same time, even novels with that style has slight transitions between their characters. My second critique is actually really simple to fix: break up your paragraphs. The length can be distracting to the reader, especially reading online versus actual paper, and I think you can keep people's attention with the novel better with just some shorter paragraphs. Overall, I clearly enjoyed the story, and I think the writing style edits are fairly quickly to apply. Hope it helps!"
Interesting!
"I'm not really into sci-fi, but this did catch my interest. I read the prologue and first chapter, and maybe I'll get to reading the rest if I ever decide to come back. So far, I like the characters, plus the worldbuilding is very nice. There were, however, some grammar errors throughout the chapter, but if looked aside, this was overall a great start! Nice work!"
My Review
"Good book. I liked the characters. For a Saga I think the narrative should be lighter and a bit more discretionary. Congratulations and good work."
Such World Building!
"This is a review of the Prologue and the first chapter-- I usually think they're unnecessary and cliche, but I loved your prologue. It immediately gave a sense of epic scope and universal conflict and it introduced Alex in a way that made me want to jump into his story as soon as possible. That being said, the first bit of the first chapter was repetitive after the prologue. It's hard to hook a reader by beginning a book with your main character sitting and musing about his future, but you do it well anyway. To do better, though, I think you should intersperse his thoughts with his actions. Keep him moving and thinking while he interacts with his world, like you do while he does his chores. So, my critiques: Though your world building is expansive and engaging, your writing suffers from sometimes being redundant and lapsing into wordiness. Long descriptions are lovely, but long descriptions broken into smaller paragraphs with tighter sentences and cleaner wording are more palatable. Also I feel the dialogue could be improved, or perhaps it was just overpowered by the prose and did not accomplish much. My summary: I was delighted by the vast world and the personality of the main character and the promise that all the backstory and plot hints suggested. This is a strong first chapter, classic for a coming-of-age sci-fi adventure in the best way possible. Take a comb through it and I think I would probably start raving about it. Keep up the good work!"
Quality Scifi Epic
"I'm not sure if this has a prequel or not, but its kind of hard jumping right into the plot. Would have loved an opening with Alex doing a little more before throwing all the terms in. Like his conflict with joining the religious order or the military could have come up in a conversation rather than him just kind of thinking it. I do this often too so not too big a deal. Its definitely a very rich narrative, lots of details to take in but that's a staple of scifi or fantasy so that works. Good descriptive language, maybe shorten slightly. Well realized characters. All in all I was satisfied with the reading and would love to see more."
Creative tale of good and evil
"I enjoyed the novel once I got into it. The world building was straightforward but effective, and by the end I got a good sense of the characters and their roles in the conflict. The dialogue and narrative were a bit on the nose for my taste, but did improve later in the piece. Overall I would say the series has potential, but I would like to see the prose itself receive a bit more loving care, to clean up some inconsistencies and flesh out the scenes. It's easy to enjoy the overall arc of the book, but harder to get caught up in its moments."
Not a big sci-fi guy but it carries itself.
"Honestly sci-fi to me just goes over my head. There's just so many words I just glance at or skim past because it's filled with words that mean nothing outside of the context of the world it's in. So the prologue put me off as a reader because I'm just like; 'Woah that is a word salad of stuff I'll never remember'. But the style is sticking close to star wars and I can see how that fits sci-fi but in any other genre that's telling when you should be showing, it's a word dump. It's straight up spoonfeeding, here have some backstory. It would be totally hacky in any other story but sci-fi. It's why fantasy and sci-fi put me off, you have to dig through so much crap to get to the actual story which is always about people, all stories are when you boil it down. It's about love or revenge, it just depends how you dress it up and this is dressed up very well. The writing is strong, the voice is there, the dialogue is good. It all strikes me as very professional and something I wouldn't be surprised at doing well on shelves as an authentic book release. So despite my ranting, I think if you like sci-fi, this is a solid piece."
Great setting and worldbuilding
"To be frank, I have never been a fan of sci-fi novels, however the author has a great writing style that eases the reader in and I believe has created a story that could be enjoyed by both sci-fi and non sci-fi lovers. I liked the world building in this book and the attention to detail the most, it feels as if the author has put a lot of thought into it."
Action packed thrill-ride!
"If you are into very futuristic, space-traveling scifi, this book is for you! This story is packed with detailed battle scenes and a fascinating world of strange creatures and environments on the fringes of "Dark Space". The protagonist, Alex, is a strong-willed young man, who at first seems to be a bit of a coward, as his reasons for joining the order are to avoid military service, but he is much stronger and braver than he first appears to be. The religious order of the White Falcon reminds of a mix between monotheism and the Jedi knights, in a time when religion is mostly a thing of the past."
Exciting!
"So this isn't my usual genre of choice, but once I started reading I was actual very interested. If you're into futuristic novels or just looking for something new, this will be a good read for you. It's technically great, and shows signs of an experienced writer. I'm adding this to my reading list!"
Great
"Not my cup of tea, but the writing style and plot are well thought out. The grammar is great and the story is good. I am not huge into sifi, but this was written very well and if great."
A good read!
"A very well written futuristic war story. I saw only minor technical difficulties, but as the author is human I should expect nothing less. It was, for me, a glimpse into the life of a young man, who at times struggled with what he thought was right. Yet, in the end, made the right decision. In closing, I would like to add that I would recommend anyone who hasn't read it to give it a read. You won't be sorry."
