What is your opinion?
Amazing!
"I can't tell you how much I loved this. It almost brought me to tears. One teensy error (not bothering to take a star off for it) was I found you wrote around the time the clerk shows up towards the end that Anomaly "didn't hear here" instead of "here her." Small typo; no big deal. I just thought you'd like to know. Anyway, I hope I get to read more from you very soon."
Great read!
"Really great, unique idea! It's one of those things that seems obvious once you read it, but I don't think I've ever heard of anything like it before. I don't think, like other reviewers said, that it's important to know WHY height matters so much to this dystopian society. I mean, there's no real reason WHY race mattered so much to our ancestors, yet they still broke people up into "good" and "bad" categories based on it. However, I would like to see more technical details added. That would bring it a more solid foundation. Even if the character themselves didn't know those details, giving them to the reader would bring the world more to life. Ex: what's the minimum height requirement? Do people still wear heels, etc to increase their height? How do the people get to this facility, do their family turn them because they are equally disgusted with short people or does someone come take them away? etc. I really like the overall feel of the piece. It's very visceral, and charged with different emotions that seem very natural and real. Somehow it makes the reader feel numb, and hopeless, and full of emotion at the same time, so I commend you on that. I especially like the little details of how the character looks described through the way they move, their hair, and the circles under their eyes, instead of going into a long list of physical descriptors. The only real criticism I have is that I don't really understand how you formatted the expiration date at the beginning. And that the character says it "05 25 __" (I don't want to press back to check the actual date). How would someone SAY it though? Underscore, underscore? Blank?"
Wow...
"This is an amazing idea that has been written beautifully. A little bit of elaboration as to why height is so important wouldn't go amiss, but at the same time I don't think it matters to the overall plot of this story. The characterisation of Anomoly was intriguing and it was so easy to get attached to her, despite the fact that it was so unlikely that she would make it. I think there was one error that I noticed (looking into the 'bright' as opposed to 'brightness'), but otherwise it was grammatically exceptional and the spelling was spot on. It's clear that a lot of thought and effort went into writing this and, in my personal opinion, it paid off. Congratulations on a beautiful story."
The Anomaly
"I love this! So well done! This is the first story I've read on here and I was trying to figure out how to get to chapter 2 when I realized there was no chapter 2. You drew me in so completely to her world and I really wanted to go on! It was amazing even thought I wanted it to continue and for her to somehow find a way to live! Great job, really :D"
Anomalies on Inkitt
""When I was a somebody, I had a brother." That was the line that made me stop and lean back in my chair. What a powerful line, to show a complete erasure of self, of personality. She's already deleted herself before she fails out of the program. You use repetition like a pro, unlike my own work, where repeated words only demonstrates rough crafting. Your prose carries weight and voice--especially impressive in a story where the character seems to lack any of her former personality. (I bet she was sarcastic, before the program.) The story is poignant beyond what I'd anticipated. While the end of the story is clearly shown at the start, I spent the entire time reading this tale waiting for the twist that would save her. By refusing to, you've struck a chord that will resonate with me later today, this week, this month. And the fact that you managed to make me care about a character whose demise I could see inching closer within such a short amount of time is a breathtaking accomplishment. "The Anomaly" is by far the best story I've read yet on Inkitt. I highly recommend it. I do have some minor suggestions, should you care to revise in the future: + Why is height important? What advantage does it give over being short? What was this aspect of the commentary supposed to say? For it being the cause of her death, essentially, it's not as well explained as I think it should be, to really show the desperation to reach that height and give this arbitrary requirement some meaning to readers and characters alike. The mystery behind height's importance redirects the focus away from Anomaly's situation to wonder about the world's dynamics, and I think that weakens the overall story. + I'd cut some of the adverbs. They throw me out of the stark nature of the world you've built, on a rhetorical level, but that's both personal preference and nitpicking of the HIGHEST quality talking here. + Cutting from scene to scene as she goes about her day works, but there just seems to be too many moments where she can't recall how she gets from place to place. In my mind, the abrupt transitions came across as an enforced "fade to black" that Anomaly tries to hang the metaphorical lantern on to explain away, but only manages to illuminate the fact that there should be some mechanism there to transport her--not deus ex machina. + Following that logic, Anomaly's lack of awareness of her own surroundings at times disconcerts me as the reader--how is she so introspective?--but I can almost understand due to the plot line. + The clerk bothers me. She's awfully convenient as a character, in terms of timing and what she's got in her pockets. A hand mirror AND a flashlight AND a pair of scissors? That's some world class Mary Poppins bag she must be carting around. She's almost a stand in for us, as the readers, wishing we could help ease Anomaly's pain--or for you, bringing a little mercy to your character by arranging for this most intriguing of coincidences. Still, I'm not sure I like that scene as it's currently constructed, and I think she's the weakest part of what you've written so far. Suggestion: Maybe, if you wanted to tweak the story a bit, have Anomaly's final act be stealing the scissors? A last breath of caring, of fortitude, of wanting to achieve something--anything--and make her deletion be on her own terms? Just an idea. Again, this is all semantics stuff. This was a smacking good story, and I'll bookmark more of your work to read later."
Where do I start?
"The concept is fantastic! It's simplistic and easy to understand, yet fresh and exciting! The plot evolves at a peaceful rate. Each thought and emotion is clearly stated, in a way that conveys the idea that there's more to the story than what we're currently reading. I'd love to see another chapter, however I think the story is complete just the way it is now."
Emotional
"An emotional story about kindness. It shows just how long a kind heart can go. It made me really glad that the character of the story experienced some of that gentle nature. Shout-out to the author for talent!"
Loved it!
"The story of Anomaly was both heart wrenching and beautiful. I almost wanted to cry as I read about how sad her life had been thus far, with only a hazy drug induced view of something that isn't even a life at all. She may have been alive, but she was certainly not living and it just broke my heart. However, in her last hours, she is given something she hasn't known in a very long time; kindness. It's so beautiful and I found myself sniffling a little as I read about the sweet and caring clerk. The moment when she asks Anomaly if there is anything she can do for her and is met with the seemingly simple request of a haircut, it was so touching. I loved this whole story and the supremely creative idea of a society that cherishes height above all else. As crazy as that concept sounds, I found it totally believable and thanking my lucky stars that I didn't live in that society. The only critique I can give is that there were a couple of words missing and a few spelling errors, things that can be easily taken care of with a quick edit. Other than that, I loved the style in which you wrote and felt the short story flowed really well. The story really made me feel for Anomaly and all other short people in this made up world. Excellent!"
Read, Re-read and consider
"Ok, first time I read "The Anomaly" I emotionally was ticked off, frustrated...I did not like the story. Was it written well? Yes, but emotionally I didn't like where it took me. The day went by, and I couldn't stop thinking about the story. So I thought maybe I should read it again. 2nd read, still the same emotion but now with a lingering thought of intrigue, why? Is there more to this story and the fictional characters before me? Is this author making a statement about something else? Is there a metaphor here? What is the real horror story? It all seems so sanitized and anesthetised to be a horror story. I finished reading the second time walked away and continued to wrestle with what is going on in this story. Several days later I decided to return for a 3rd reading. "The Anomaly" is about something else, something horrifying, something no one wants to look at in our day and age. If it is what I think it's about, we have an insightful and very talented writer who is giving a timely cultural analysis and the horror story is not on the page but in our society. Well done! Please continue to challenge our thinking we need more writers like this who make us want to read, re-read and consider our lives."
Wow! I love it.
"This story has an amazing theme. It is interesting to read and the style is quite enjoyable. The message regarding life is inspiring, as well as, thoughtful. Continue to write: you will someday be a successful published author."
wow
"I really love this. I love your writing style and your character depth, especially if this is a short story. I would really love it if this continued. (sorry for such an overall star chart up there) In such a short amount of time I sorta grew attached to this character. Congratulations on doing this so well."
The Anomaly
"I've never read anything quite like this before, I'm new to this site so forgive me if I do this wrong. Writing: excellent. The plot: extraordinary and original and captivating. In a single chapter this character has been made emotionally touching and connectable. Anomaly and the Clerk were simply beautiful. Everything about this oneshot was breathtaking, marvelous job."
Excellent
"This was a really interesting story. I was quite intrigued by the premise and the style was very welcoming. I enjoyed it! The writer caught my attention and held it and the feelings seemed very real."
Awesome Idea!
"Whoa....this is yet another great story I've had the pleasure of reading. Seriously, the story line itself is just so unique and different and intriguing. I was upset when it ended with the character expiring. I was hoping she would find salvation somehow. Anyways, I think that you did a great job of giving the reader insight on what's going on with the character emotionally, mentally, and physically as well as providing a reason behind the existence f the program the short people are in as well as its primary function. Well done on this piece! I'm loving your writing style too in case ti's not so obvious! You're a great writer!"
Good but short
"The premise of this story is good but unexplained. Why does hight matter? I enjoyed this story as a quick read and honestly the only reason to give you less than a five would be you didn't explain things well. I loved the story and it's premise and wouldn't rewrite it but I would add just a little more detail. I know this is a short story but I would add a couple more chapters because I really want to know what happens next. This story leaves many questions unanswered and that's shame because it's such a great story. Please keep writing Syfy like this and at this pace it's really good but next time don't be afraid to write a bit more."
Interesting!
"Over all, the story was really, well, interesting- the plot and the idea of it was like, (it's late and literally the only word I can think of is interesting, but like, good interesting! Like, "all I want to do is think this over"-interesting!) interesting. Literally the only part of the story that I guess, bother is a good word to use, bothered me was there really was no explanation, no "this is why things are the way they are"- such as Anomaly's, and everyone else who didn't fit societal views of greatness or success, which in all fairness, are featured in our own society with beauty standards, and the whole thing animals have with runts and stuff is like a valid explanation too, but... To the point of expiration dates? How does one "expire" in the center? How are "people" given expiration dates- did Anomaly's brother have one before he proved it to fit societal values? Is it something everyone is given and the ones who do not meet it well before their expiration time get it burned off without ever going to the center? How exactly does height drive a person's social standing if everyone is like pretty tall? I get the point of it being vague in a sense, as Anomaly loses herself, and she really wouldn't want to know about what happens when she expires in a sense, but society would have to know, right? What would push society into such behaviors? But then again, that's probably me overthinking it. Either way, The Anomaly is a interesting (again with the word interesting!), unique tale that honestly ends in a way that usually annoys me but just felt like, the perfect way to end the story,"
Outstanding!!
"It's only been one chapter and already I'm enraptured! I love how the first few lines really hook the reader in, and I'm loving the writing style too! The story has a nice flow and a realistic plot, both of which I'm enjoying! I can see that it did take some work to write (which I totally understand), but let me just say: great job! I look forward to reading more of your works in the future!"
Interesting Premise
"The plot is quite interesting and definitely adheres to the post-apocalyptic tone well. The premise that height dictates one's role in society is intriguing and holds a lot of potential-- enough potential that making this story's length longer would help the plot and world fully branch out to its fullest extent. To clarify, the story almost feels like I opened a book to the middle page and started reading from there. The shortness that it is at now only serves to obstruct the impact of the story and I am left wanting more! In addition, and I'm being picky here, but the imagery could use a little changing. For instance, the simile in the sentence, "I've been asked thousands of times, and the answer slips through my lips smooth like peanut butter", detracts from the tone. It also raises a couple of questions: how does she remember the texture of peanut butter? Has she eaten it recently, despite her lackluster diet? Etc. Overall, the story uses some rhetoric strategies very well (like repetition) and the plot has me wanting to read more."
Made me think
"I haven't read anything like this before and it resonated with me personally, since if that were our society today then I'd be in that program and am only 5 feet. Just reading her thoughts about how she no longer remembered what mud felt like gave me a strong urge to go outside and push my bare toes into the mud. This was excellently written and brought tears to my eyes as she gave up when she knew she wouldn't make it. The kindness of the clerk was bittersweet but significant in giving her a sense of calm as she reached the final moments of her life. This was just beautifully tragic."
Stop and Stare
"I really enjoyed this story. The concept was fresh and fascinating, definitely something that could be developed into a full novel. Several sentences really made me come to a full stop, particularly the paradoxical ones. There were concepts in here that I haven't ever encountered before, and for that I say bravo."
