Sometimes
Sometimes you feel like nothing, like no one is paying attention to you. You feel like life isn't going anywhere because you don't know how to do anything. You don't know how to act or behave. You want to smile and cry all at the same time. You want to run but you feet aren't moving. You don’t want to stay but you have too. You want to be someone. You want to be like someone else or everyone else. You want to be happy but your sad. No one knows, what you mean when they ask you if you're okay and you say i’m fine. Where did you learn the word fine. People ask you so many questions but all you say is I don't know or I'm ok. You say please and thank you because you don't know if you'll ever get it again. Even though you know you will. You think a lot. You don't know when to shut up. You talk to much. You eat to much. You look at your body and shame yourself. Sometimes you wonder why it all happened to you. Why do you keep making everything about you. Your not pretty enough. you don't know how to act. You don't know how to be yourself. Is everything a lie. You are so depressed and dependent on people . You don't know how to do things on your own. Why are you alive. You should go drink bleach. What did you do when someone said that, you cried. Why. Your a spoiled bitch. Your childish, your ignorant, you are so many things but you aren't you. Why? You walk funny, you talk funny, You are ugly. No one talks to you. Are you not that entertaining as everyone else. What are you, who are you. Why can't you be you. Why is everyone so hard on you. You say to much you give out to much information. What is wrong with you. You were molested. You are disgusting. Why would they want you. You are nothing. You should commit suicide. You cut yourself to take all the pain away. Your nasty. You did this and that. You question everything and you question yourself. You question what how and why. How did you make it this far. You use the wrong words you need to look more. You need to take your meds. You smoked at one point even when you had it all. You can't sleep at night. What is haunting you. Why are you awake. Why did you fall asleep. Why did you do that. Why do you always want attention. Most of all why aren't you,you.
