What is your opinion?
Wow
"I finally found a book actually won my heart without having a second thought "
The one they left behind
"l like how the author put the characters together"
Good
"I think this is a good book it is keeping me entertained i havent stopped reading since i started the book"
The One They Left Behind
"This is a great story plot and it's written nicely too. I like the fact that you didn't describe the main character as weak and depressed, that has been used a lot, and I appreciate the fact that the detail that is given is specific enough to where it is not called rambling. Overall great story!"
Cute one
"Cute one... There is so much related to daily on-goings.. great to see better friend ship going bitter"
Intrigued.
"It's a really good story I can't wait to read more!"
The One They Left Behind
"Well, as a person who adores a good cliché, I can safely say I enjoyed your story. It's not very different from the other high school drama stories, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't have a good potential to evolve into a masterpiece. I just have some observations that will might help you get even better: 1) Your basic idea is very important and it would be perfect if you highlighted it more. You want to highlight the difficulties of Rose, who tries to overcome them and find herself and her happiness throught everything that is happening to her. Describing her inner feelings and deeper thoughts, and maybe some features that betray her embarrassment, her fear, her despair, etc., will give much more emphasis and will make the reader feel even closer to the main character. Give a clear message: that we are all going through difficult times in our lives, but we should always try for the best. Everything is done for a reason and the difficulties we face, prepare us for a better time in our lives. 2) By describing better what I mentioned above, your chapters will become much larger. Admittedly, they're smaller than they should be, and your readers might be a little bit...disappointed. Give them something more to read, even by explaining only the space and characteristics of the faces. 3) Some chapters may slightly confuse your readers, as there are references to the past that are confused with the present and very fast transition from one age to another. Of course, the rapid age progression and the references to the past are very interesting, but maybe you should use some means, to make it more prominent, as a bold font that warns readers of the time (5 years earlier-, -flashback-, -end of flashback-...). 4) Your characters are shaped beautifully,but you could give us a bit more information about their relationship. If we know more about their friendship, we will be able to relate more to the pain of Rose's split from them. 5) You have a few grammar and vocabulary mistakes, but they can be fixed easily with a good editing. I do believe that adding more descriptions of the places and the feelings and thoughts of the characters will make this story a bomb!! Generally, is a great work that can become even greater if you fix a couple of things!! Your hard work is showing and I honestly want to find out how the whole plot is going to evolve, so as a dedicated reader I can do nothing more than help you improve and motivate you become even better...Keep up the great work!! You got this!!"
The One They Left Behind
"It's so good! I love the plot and I fell in love with the characters!! Keep going with this book! It's amazing!!"
Review swap
"Let me just start by saying that I was never bored by the plot and I think it's a really good rough draft. However, since it is a first draft, there are a lot of grammar/punctuation errors that I think could be avoided with just a quick proofread before posting, but I don't think the author actually has real issues with grammar/punc. otherwise. Second, I found some of the characters a little flat. Actually most of them were decently flat and many scenes that could have stole the show for their drama and pacing seemed rushed, mostly because of the way that the dialogue was written out with few periods and fewer pauses. I think that the dialogue in general in the story could be unconvincing, though there were some really good moments as well. All in all, the biggest thing that bothered me while reading was that many of the dialogue tags that contained information that would have been good to know at the beginning of a paragraph were pasted onto the end of the dialogue and I found it to be something that pulled me out of the story every time. Sometimes the dialogue tags were also kind of extra, such as using too many adverbs. In the last couple chapters, there were also a few sentences in there that kind of took the story into another character's POV because it said things that I didn't think Rose would be able to know just by watching the other character. Congrats on a good start, and I look forward to seeing how it plays out!"
Simple and Sweet
"It can really be challenging to draw in readers when the story ramps up to the conflict; one has to really care about the character if things aren't slam-bang right out of the gate. This author invites me to care about her character.. The prose is clear, for the most part, and there were few grammatical issues I noticed (which is a big deal for me!) I hope this author has many more stories to tell"
Cute
"This was def a nice and innocent story, to begin with. I'm still reading but so far its captured my interest. I love the little love triangle I believe is forming not sure who I prefer at the moment still reading into the book. I can't wait to see where this goes and the potential this book has to develop into something amazing. Good job Author."
The One they Left Behind
"I really enjoyed reading this. Keep up the good work! I do wish to see some more character development and plot but maybe it’s because I haven’t gotten as far. But other than that, it’s a great piece of work! Awesome job! :)"
Teen Story
"INteresting cute I could say. It reminds me a lot to other stories. But has potential. Like the relationship shes having with hillary and jasmine. Hope diana stop bothering her and I ship her with clayton but sam looks nicer idk why but clay didnt show more emotions. Also, A little more of descritpion and it would be good. Just edit and you will be fine. keep up the good work."
Needs more excitement!
"Your writing is beautiful, your pacing and flow are all pretty awesome as well. But you need to add an x factor that will keep reader's reading. You need to offer them something other than just words and sentences! I hope you can do that with a bit of thinking :) I hope you all the best! -Coffee Beanz"
WOW!
"I LOVE the suspense! Keep writing!"
nice character
"I like your writing style, and Rose already seems very sweet and relatable! Though the first chapter does tell a lot about Rose's relationship with her friends and family, there isn't really anything in the plot to draw the reader in."
Sort of Boring
"The characters are average which is fine but the story is average because the characters are. Draw out the family dynamic a bit with the father. Explain a bit about him or have a scene with her and her father talking about something. He seems to be lonely as well. I hope the plot dives into a love triangle because that would be typical or very cliche. Waiting for more!"
Getting there
"For what it is, which is a typical teen romance as others have pointed out, this is an enjoyable story. I can’t entirely predict where the plot is going - refreshingly unusual for this genre - and the characters had some humorous and interesting conversations with each other. I can see that some of the characters introduced early on are already becoming more rounded as opposed to flat stereotypes, and I hope to see this happen to the rest of them as it goes on. I’d recommend researching the interests of the target age range as the characters’ behaviour sometimes doesn’t match up with their ages. Remember that there’s more to maturity than the word f***."
potential but stereotypical
"This story has a lot of potential but its too much stereotypical. Like best friend leaves friend is upset friend gets bullied etc. The first 3 chapters made me feel like I was reading words. It didn't draw me in it didn't make me want to know what happened next. It just felt like a burden but chap 4 was really what wanted me to know more. It was actually doing something. Something was about to happen. I think that you should like introduce Yazmine after Dianna left. It will definitely bring moral support to Rose and help her deal with her bullies. Also, Rose and your other characters feel fake except for Yazmine. What does Rose want? Why do the bullies bully her and what are they trying to gain by bullying her. Also like combine chapters 2 and 3 together that will help. But this is a great first try and there's always room for improvement. You don't have to take my advice but I honestly think it will make the story better. There are also some grammar mistakes. Overall I can't wait to see where this goes update soon and best of luck."
Pretty Typical Teen Fiction
"While I do see a lot of potential in both the plot and writing, I just have no reason to continue reading. Many scenes are not important (at least from the 3 chapters I read) and offer nothing to the reader. Going by the blurb, perhaps show more that Rose is sad. I'd even suggest adding a character (I know that this is only the beginning so I have no idea where the plot is going to go) that doesn't care about her until something happens (maybe an accident involving Renee). A character that is there to see how upset Rose is and help her. However, the problem with that is that Rose must ultimately solve her own problems and get over her feelings. I do think that a male character (to be a love interest) would really make this story better. Anyway, that's just what I think. It's just too much of a typical teen fiction story to be interesting. My issue is really with the plot of the story rather than the writing. If the scenes and pacing could be fixed as well as some more show > tell to give Rose character, then I don't have a problem with the smooth, easy-to-read writing."
