What is your opinion?
Great!
"I thoroughly enjoyed this short. Even though I’m nowhere near the place where Anna is in her life, I totally understood where she was coming from, and I think that’s due to your writing. I could completely understand why she was upset with Sean, and even though he was trying to be understanding, her wants in the situation completely flew over his head. I feel like that’s something that happens a lot in relationships, wherein Anna just wants him to do some of the chores without being nagged by him, so bravo to you for so expertly bringing out that aspect of a relationship. I don’t think it’s talked about enough. Even though I’ve never been pregnant (and I’m not sure I have any intention of ever having kids) I love how you described the feeling. I love the line “a gentle reminder of the presence breathing inside”. It’s such a beautiful way of describing it and I instantly knew she was pregnant as soon as I read it, so fantastic job of wording that. Overall I was thoroughly impressed with this short. A captivating, relatable read! Fantastic job :) "
Nice Alternate/Prequel!
"This was a really nice alternate/prequel! :) I rarely give 5s across the board since I'm a harsh critic, but I really think that this story deserves all 5s! :D It was an easy read that makes me think of questions I want answered, so I'm tempted to read the next book - which is good writing, in my opinion. I like the characters and their dynamic is intriguing. I'm wondering how they got together and are having a baby when they seem like they may be somewhat opposites. I'm curious if Anne's pregnancy is making her high-strung or if that's how she's always been. I'm wondering if Sean is actually trying to make more money for himself or for his family/baby. I'm left curious and I like having to think about where the story is going in the next part. :)"
Amazing! So so so good!
"This book ticked all the boxes! I want to read more of her books. It’s so good and I can imagine everything! EVERYTHING. I’m in LOVE omg. This is author has a new reader! So good, so fucking good. I had to stop and write a review. This is the SHIT the SHIT - sorry for swearing but it’s so good. I understand why she won creative writing contests because this is mouth watering! So good. The beginning just needs to be tweaked a little - I love love the beginning but it’s not clear I thought the rectangular screen was glasses but now I think it’s a tv. I love creative writing but I must hand it to you. Less is more and sometimes too much embellishments makes it hard for the reader 🥰but the creative writing is on point! But EVERYTHING AFTER!!! I have to read on, I want to know more. That’s it that’s the review it’s so good. I haven’t read a piece like this on Inkitt in the sense of description and detail with everything. My favourite scene is when MC girl walks down the stairs, the description *chef 💋 kiss* "
Realistic and thought-provoking
"Building up tension in something so short as a flash fiction is no easy task, but you've managed to perfectly capture the tension in a scenario like this with so few words. The short, direct sentences are perfect for this, but I think they could be made even better with more strategic italics. I see that you have plenty of well-placed italics already, but maybe italicize more one-word sentences like "Again." and also split them into their own paragraphs for greater emphasis. This is just a personal preference, though. The word choice and the dialogue at the end is perfect, and the descriptions of the dishes and the music are extremely vivid, so great job on that. I think the summary should be shortened significantly or removed because it introduces a lot of information that is never really touched on in the story. Besides, flash fiction doesn't need a long introduction. Aside from that, awesome job! You've captured the essence of flash fiction perfectly in this story!"
Harmony
"I came across your post in the Beta- Discussion group, I am a new writer and I love reading others stories. What a great short story! The way you convey emotions is beautiful! I got a really good feel for the story and you set the scene really well. I could really feel the emotions especially the frustrations of the characters. You are so talented. I have seen you have some more books so I intend to give them a read too! I have just started writing so if you want to, I would love to have some feedback on what I have written so far. Happy writing :) xxx"
Harmony
"This is the first time that I read a short story that is so well written and all the emotions conveyed in it. You have perfectly described the tension, set the tone, set the setting and build up to the events beautifully! It is such an amazing piece and I can not wait to read the rest of your work because it was absolutely phenomenal! "
Very insightful!
"Another well written one-shot that skillfully captures the anxiety and uncertainty that comes in the build up to the arrival of a child. The author creates a tension almost instantly and allows it to build up and abate over the piece until it reaches it breaking point. I found this very realistic, especially since the breaking point was something as simple as undone dishes - it's a build up of the little things that makes us snap sometimes, so it was very relatable and understandable why she went off at him like that. Really good job with this :)"
Great One shot
"For a short story it's really difficult to portray the mood of the characters and the plot in a thousand or so words. But you've done a really good job, there is a lot of tension between the married couple, and they're both showing that they're worried about the baby in different ways, but I think when it arrives they are both going to love it to pieces! Just a quick point, you've put a lot of background and information in the summary, a lot of which doesn't get brought up in the story. You might want to think about that. Keep up the great work! Sofia"
Harmony
"First of all, I enjoyed this single chapter so much so cheers to you for that! Your descriptions were perfect, your writing style was top-notch and your arrangement of paragraphs made it easier for your readers to engage throughout your story. Your flow didn't seem forced and to be honest, there's not much to criticize about it. But if I had to give my opinion on one thing, I would insist you put a few more chapters, maybe involve a teeny tiny twist. I understand that this is a short story and it's how you prefer it to be, but I think with your creativity and your writing style, your story would pretty much be receiving the love it deserves if you spiced up things a bit with a few twists, all while keeping it a short story! But I do understand it's completely up to you and I respect your ideas! Amazing work and do keep it up!"
Written well, but
"First off, I’m sorry it took me so long to read your story. Had other prior engagements to take care of. But I finally read it and I’ll now say my thoughts. As an author, your writing style is impeccable. I can’t critique any sort of aspects to your wording cause you did fantastic job expressing emotions and inner struggles Anna was conflicted with rather well. So for that kudos to you. I did, however, found a few mistakes. One, paragraphs with less than 4 sentences are considered fragments. There were several in here. I get some are justified to be solo. Especially when she is expressing her feelings and internal struggles. But for the rest? Can be joined together. Next, found small spelling mistakes. Like in the section, “Anna stopped her by placing her finger against his lips.” It should be she stopped him. Stuff like that very minor. I wish I could give this five stars but considering it’s a short story and there was a very thin plot I couldn’t do so. Maybe if it was expanded by chance to see how the outcome of will she or will she not be a single mom due to her husbands potential desire for greed comes into play. All in all, great start! I have no doubts you are a talented author who can write exceptional works! Keep going! "
Relatable Relationship with Great Description
"I think the story is very indicative of the frustration of couples all around the globe. This makes it easily relatable for most. We've all been there where we wished the other person would take initiative without being asked multiple times to pull their weight in the relationship. The plot follows Anna who is due to give birth in mere weeks and her partner, Sean. Sean seems to be more invested in his work - which may or may not be the only income supporting the both of them. While one slaves away over a job, the other is left to take care of the rest of the household while carrying a child. This is something that is all too common. I like that the author shows the dynamics of the household and how each person feels to be doing their part. The argument over the dishes may seem trivial to some, but can be a downright catastrophic if this has been an on-going thing. Anna isn't upset about him not doing the dishes - she's upset about the fact she has to keep asking him to do basic things that affect everyone. Sean, while trying to remain calm and understanding, completely misses the point. Anna isn't asking him to quit working. She's asking him to take more initiative in the relationship without her feeling the burden of being the "nagging wife." The author does a very good job with stirring these emotions within the reader. While I think the plot is interesting, there were some issues with grammar. While many of the sentences are sentence fragments, which are completely acceptable, they seem to be missing small words. It does throw off the flow for the reader. Also, some of the sentences could be toned down for clarification. Instead of using flowery words, simple words may be better. I think a once over in grammarly or any editing website may help. Overall, I enjoyed the tension of the story and the descriptive details that helped show what was happening throughout. Thank you for the enjoyable read!"
Mixed feelings.
"I just stumbled into this account a mere hours ago, but I can already tell you have a great talent for conveying emotions through the simple acts, (great showing not telling!). This one-shot was also enjoyable, but I found a few things that left the reading experience a tad lackluster. I advise to possibly reconsider the summary, because it heavily focuses on Sean, so you'd expect his narrative not Anna's, and it also included context that wasn't really tackled throughout the story itself. I don't know if I have read it wrong, but it felt like Sean was dismissive, and minimized the complaints and discomfort of his wife, who's essentially suffering the most by carrying his child. I'm not sure if he was supposed to learn to take responsibility with this baby, but it didn't seem like it was happening in this version, at least to me. Again, I might have read it in a certain manner. Personally, I prefer the original version of this one-shot, but again, you're amazing with description."
