What is your opinion?
Great
"I am currently reading the sixth chapter. Everything is very well written. I especially want to pay attention to the writing style perfectly and everything is easy to read."
WOW
"This story is AWESOME and I think this is really great and is going somewhere. Keep up the flawless work I have no problems with this story at all # complete honesty"
The Everlasting Song
"At the time of this review, this story had 11 chapters. In the beginning of the story, the first thing I noticed was that it reads like a teenager's diary. That's not necessarily a bad thing, if your targeted demographic is teenagers, which it seems to be, so you're good. The spacing was inconsistent, though. In the beginning, there was too much space, but in later chapters, this was corrected. The earlier chapters should be fixed as well. The plot is very simple, so naturally it's easy to follow. A girl who writes songs and is already popular for being a singer/songwriter is striving to become even more popular, while struggling with a past love and a likely future love. I liked the use of flashbacks. They definitely improved the story's intrigue. Without them, the story was becoming monotonous and predictable. I hope something exciting happens in your story soon. Nice work!"
Lyrical
"What a lovely story! I generally agree with most of the other reviews. The thing that most stood out to me were the songs that you put in there. I've tried writing songs and poetry before, and I've found it extremely difficult to make them work. Getting the story, the feeling, the sound of the lyrics as they are read to all be right is incredibly challenging, yet I think you do a great job of writing good songs. I think that's particularly commendable. Keep up the great work!"
Fun and gripping!
"I love the songs and how beautifully crafted they are (it almost inspires me to be a songwriter but I know nothing about song structure). The characters are so interesting and each play a significant role in the story. I love this!"
The Everlasting Song
"This story takes you on wonderful love and youth and what it’s like to be young and a young singer and song writers young journey. Enjoyed reading each chapter and enjoyed all written songs and read it all in one night and it was a nice read. "
Pulls you back for more
"I really thought this was a great flowing read. It was extremely easy to follow along but didn’t leave you feeling bored. I enjoyed how the dialogue switches from internal to external and how the main character portrays herself when she’s debating things internally verses how she responds and reacts to those around her. I think that the verbiage in the story is wonderful and makes you feel like you are able to physically see what is going on with the mental picture that it creates. The descriptions for the characters and how you can see it was fantastic. It really helps to pull the storyline together cohesively and make you feel as if you are there. I also liked the song aspect of it because not only are you diving into an interesting read – but it’s a story within itself when you add the lyrics to it. I think the ending lines of chapter 7 were really good to end on before starting the next chapter. The flashback scene I thought really set up more of the relationship backstory, that was a good addition. Totally unrelated, but chapter 9 I just saw Kelsea Ballerini in concert a couple days ago (fire). I like where the story is so far, I think that the last chapter up currently and the switch in relationships is really intriguing for what is to come. Great read so far, I am excited to read more from you in general!"
Singing Your Praises
"I think this story has a lot of potential! There is still a lot of plot to come, and I am unsure of the direction the book is going in. Will Chloe end up with her childhood crush? Will she and Lila end up fighting? I don't know, and that's good - it keeps the reader in the dark! The dialogue is written well, the characters are relatable, and I like the use of song - it is clear that the author has an interest and familiarity with this world. I did notice some grammatical errors - nothing overt, but there is room for editing (ie. some words are missing, story jumps from present tense to past tense in a few paragraphs). Nevertheless, an interesting premise with lots to come! I'll keep an eye on this one for sure."
Interesting with the lyrics
"Interesting premise with the song writing aspect to show her feelings and emotions. The school drama parts are so on point from what I see with my kids and their friends. "
This!!
"This, in my opinion, is better than 'The Crimson Dimension' It's a super cool idea, and I love reading something that I never have before! Just, like, three things that I want to comment on. Very minor, except for the last one. The first is Lila. I just want to know if she had her phone number at first, and had they been friends before? Because it sounded like they became distant, until we actually meet her in something other than a flashback, I'm a little lost on the status of their relationship. Are they close, or not? I would like that to be clearer in the story. And then there's the issue of, Matt, is it? I'm sorry about this who forgetting names thing. Why didn't she love him? Did she just get over it? Maybe mention that. Its like, "I loved him, but I resented Lila for dating him and started to hate on her. I got famous, at to which I then met Matt again, but didn't like him anymore," Why? Did she just fall out of touch with him? I want to see what happened. Which leads me to my last point. . . She meets Jace, learns that he's a fan, he comes over, and, due to the two-sided crush, they make out. Um. I feel like you just rushed the romance thing. Take it slow, AB! I 100% assure you that its OK not to fall in love immediately! A slow developing crush is fine- in fact, its fantastic. It lets them get to learn more about each other and still keep the story going! Overall, its a magnificent story. With some refinements, it'll be even better! PS. (Just a suggestion) A different cover would be nice. I can make you one, or not. I just want to see a nicer one. :) <3"
Good songs
"I like the plot of the story. It's fun and easy to read. The characters, especially the main character, are quite interesting. My problem will have to do with the dialogue tags and punctuation. I feel like using 'he said' and 'she said' after every dialogue makes it sound too repetitive. On a whole though, this is fun. And the songs are pretty much the icing on the cake. Keep writing. "
Interesting!!
"This is an easy read and fast-paced (for those who like that). The details in the story allow it to be understood and the emotion of the characters felt. I like the writing style but I give it the rating because the relationships seem rushed. If you would love to hear the songs! (The author can be notified). An overall interesting story. Well done! "
GREAT START
"I'm really loving this so far, the plot is captivating and had me intrigued from the beginning. Maybe consider using slightly less exclamation marks (!) and try to start sentences with something other than I (this one I noticed less the more I read, but more so in first few chapters) as it adds variability with writing. I could picture each setting quite well and liked the incorporation of current pop culture. The characters seem sophisticated and thought through, I am interested in seeing how it continues to develop!"
the review
"I would call this piece of writing heart-warming and light-hearted, in many ways passionate. I especially loved the character development; the image was incredibly vivid in my head. The music theme was probably the best interwoven feature in the entire story. I wonder if the author composes often. Sometimes the protagonist felt super relatable, although, I don’t think fluffy romance is my thing at all. Thank you for your work! Keep it up!"
Great characters
"I am liking this story so far! I feel involved with the main characters and understand the plot. I think you have a strong plot to work with! When I read the story description I felt very intrigued! Like someone pour the tea please, what has gotten Chloe into trouble? I feel very wary of Carter and Lila, don't know if you intended that, but those two just popping back into her life after the pain they have caused, and all of a sudden when she is becoming famous is very suspicious! And I like this tentative not knowing whether to trust them or not. Moving forward into Chloe's story, it would be great to be revealed to us the readers more flashbacks so we can really appreciate what Chloe went through and what drove her to make the lyrics. Don't be afraid to get dark with her flashbacks and lyrics either if that is what you intended thinking of this story... The only other thing that I noticed is needing a little more description of your character's surroundings. Your dialogue is great! and I can picture them talking and it feels real however a little more description would just seal the deal. Finally, my only other point is a few spelling and grammatical errors but they are not huge, they can be fixed with Grammarly or getting someone else to edit your work with another set of eyes. Sometimes when you have been writing for a long period of time, you get tired and so it's easy to miss. Overall, I feel connected to Chloe and I want to see what happens next so well done :)"
The Plot That Keeps On Thickening
"I liked how the Prologue began, it really dived in head first into the story. I'd recommend a bit more description that would appeal to writer's senses, such as perhaps strobing lights, a bass that vibrates in their chest, the roar of thousands of fans, etc. I think it's a fantastic start, just needs a little more "oomph" to get it up a level. The chapters flowed well, I like how there was some cliff hangers at the end of each. You know how to leave your readers craving for your next post. Excellent use of suspense. You do exceptionally well at portraying the hurt and the betrayal that Chloe has experienced, especially with the diary entry. In my 30's, I still remember that kind of naivety and lack of world experience that Chloe is caught in the middle of. This seems like it's going to be a great coming-of-age story, portraying how Chloe learns through her past mistakes and is able to overcome (at least, I hope she does) her infatuation with the meat-head Carter. There were times I did wish there was a bit "more" in the story, although for some people that's just not their style. You seem like a very cut-and-to-the-point kind of writer, and I can respect that. Just my personal preference as a reader. I'd say the biggest piece of advice I can offer is to try to spice some things up with description, appeal to all the senses you can. What the character hears, smells, tastes, sees, feels. You've appealed to most of those, but to really get a reader to dive in and become engrossed, you need just a smidgen more. I left a link in one of my comments on a site to use other words for "said" or "and", and you can actually really pump up the adrenaline just by using a bit more "fancy" words by using a thesaurus (or just Google "synonym of (random word)" to get a little extra with your writing. Just be cautious of using too many fancy words, or writers might get bored (something I'm guilty of in my own writing) Overall, you have some really great bones to mold into a phenomenal story, and I will eagerly await future posts."
Great start!
"This story has really great bones; the plot, the original lyrics and the characters are all wonderful. I just wish we got a little slower of a pace for some scenes. Overall, though, I'm really excited to see where you take this story. Obviously it's not perfect but no story is but I think you're headed in a prosperous direction and with a bit more practice you could be a best seller one day if that's your dream. I would love it if you linked an audio recording of the original songs in your story I think it would give it a lot more depth and would make reading it enjoyable and more fun. I really like Lila's characterization, when we first hear about her she's a "man-stealer" and we're meant to dislike her, but when we're introduced to her we can pick out likable qualities in her character whether they're real or not. I think that makes for an excellent story when you're able to like the supposed villain. Anyways, again I'm really excited to read more of this and see what happens between Chloe, Lila and Carter. Keep up the great work!"
Wonderful start! (Excited for more!)
"I absolutely love the relatable aspect of Chloe's character. Your writing style, and how you phrase certain things in the book makes it look like you really put a lot of thought, effort, and passion into your writing. One thing I notice is fairly common in a lot of stories is the overlooking of subtle changes in the point of view of the story, but I think that you've done a fantastic job keeping the story in a first person view. Overall, your grammar and spelling is almost perfect. I did, however, spot a few instances where more punctuation was needed (mostly commas), or an extra long paragraph should have been split in half. I also noticed that the story sometimes jumps back and forth between present tense and past tense. All of these are common errors, and could be fixed relatively easily with a careful skim of the story. I read a few of the other reviews, and I also agree that the chapters could possibly be a bit longer, but the length of the chapter should really be mainly based on your personal preference. I hope more chapters will be ready soon, and I am looking forward to reading them when they are released! This book has so much potential, and I am very excited to watch it play out! Best of wishes, Starling"
Waiting for more...
"I love what you have written up to chapter 6 and I can't wait to read more! The plot is interesting and has the element of suspense which I need to keep the "pages" turning. I love the little details which enhance the interaction between the characters. I would definitely love to know how the story ends. I did note some typos, punctuation and grammatical errors as did some of the other reviewers... but those are easy fixes with a bit of careful editing. I am also a very visual person, so aesthetics and presentation have a big effect on my reading experience. Might I suggest some spacing between paragraphs? I think it would help get rid of the cluttered look of the chapters and make them easy to read for people like me. You have potential and I wholeheartedly encourage you to keep writing. All the very best! Much love xx"
Promising
"My opinion is entitled to change only because you have a knack for your songs, and this is your first book. I am cutting you some slack, haha. So, very first thing, I think your chapters should be a lot longer. I notice that you can expand on your ideas a lot more than you give yourself credit for. Take it from someone who has to work on that as well. I notice it a lot. Keep your words for each chapter 1000- 1500 words. It will help your readership and hook your audience. I know for sure that I wanted more. As a reminder, you need to expand on your characters. It is very important as I am sure you are aware. Dialogue tags should be very strong to give a sense of feeling to your characters and also to show what they're doing as your readers are interacting and reading. Your plot needs a lot more work, but since this is the first four chapters, you better prepare yourself for a lot of planning and implementation ahead. I would also recommend a strong story structure. This simply means if you have an idea, at all ends find your cracks and try to strengthen them. It is important. You can do research before starting off a chapter if you're unsure about your own ways and ideas, and find new inspirations. I hope this finds you well, and since you have been very promising in your writing, my genre of much is pop punk, or simply pop. I listen to mostly an artist name Exidos. He is very intelligent and inspirational. You can't miss it. If you need a touch of good luck, you have it from me!"
