What is your opinion?
A reason to live
"I must say that even this is your first book you have done a great job. Like everyone else the first chapter is intense and hooked me up. There were some words which didn't fit the lines but it's okay because it didn't interrupted with the flow. Keep writing!"
A reason to live.
"An intense and intriguing novel from the very first chapter. A dark and twisted story of orphaned twins living with a monstrous relative as their guardian. One with whom escaping seems to be impossible. The plot is very interesting and steeped in mystery and promise. The characters are realistic and relatable and I enjoyed the multiple pov's. My only criticism for this novel would be the grammar and the formatting, but the story still needs to be edited, so I'll adjust my review and ratings when that happens. Overall, this is a wonderful novel to read not for the faint of heart."
Suspenseful and great dialogues
"I really enjoyed reading this story! This is defiantly not for a sensitive person! (I prefer reading these types of stories, it keeps me on my toes) Miguel is an interesting character that I would like to learn more about, or maybe where all of his anger stems from. I know the story is not finished, so I'm looking forward to reading more! One of my favourite things that initially stuck out was the dialogue between all of the characters (especially the young friends of Tay and Jules) It's sometimes hard for an author to put perspective and dialogue that gives a sense of who the character is, but this author has done a fantastic job doing so! I would also even consider writing another novel just about the other high school friends, I absolutely love reading their interactions and thoughts. One more side note; the added Spanish was the cherry on top to the already great dialogue! Amazing job and keep writing!!"
Jules
"This book is off to a fantastic start! One of the most important things, when you start writing, is to have relatable characters so that the readers can get into their heads. You have managed to do this, I could feel Jules and Taylon's misery and suffering at the hands of their uncle. I know this is probably me being optimistic, but I hope that life gets better for the twins in later chapters, and Miguel gets whats coming to him. Keep up the good work! Sofia."
Good!
"Loved the plot and the writing style!"
The Tale of Jule-sel and Gretel ...
"In a deep corner of the world, hidden from all those who are in a position to help, two twin children are forced to endure unthinkable physical and emotional abuse. The monster calls himself ‘Dad’ though he’s not their real father. His favorite weapon of choice is a clothes iron which he uses to burn poor Jules mercilessly. Completely helpless and alone, all Jules and his twin sister Tay can do is dream of escape. A cheery, uplifting story that promises to brighten your day. Ha-ha. No, sorry for the sarcasm. In actuality this is a grim story that I wouldn’t recommend for the faint hearted. Still, if you have the stomach for it (And I admit I do. Maybe because I love horror) this could be an interesting study on the psychological changes that comes from abuse. This novel is an interesting, modern day version of Hansel and Gretel. But again not for sensitive readers. "
Good plot! Keep it up!
"The plot is really good, however editing is needed for punctuation. Keep up the good work!!"
Editing Needed
"I think the plot is good, but I am having a hard time immersing myself in the story because of the grammatical/punctuation errors. I'd recommend using Grammarly, it's a really fast and easy way to fix these kinds of issues and the basic version is free. Throughout reading the story I was a little confused as to whose POV is whose and what exactly was going on, but I caught on eventually - So maybe a little more clarity on that is needed? Otherwise, I think the bones of this story is good, just some editing is needed so that readers can really appreciate the plot."
Jules
"Avery interesting plot, it kept me captivated from the start. And as far as I read there was no flaw in your grammar. But I think a lot of punctuation marks are missing and capitalization too, if you can correct those two then you are set to go. It is just my advice, I don't mind if you don't take it but if you correct all these mistakes now then it will be easier for you in the future because if you keep all this till the end to edit then that would be a lot of work. I have done that mistake and I had a hard time with that, so I am just letting you know so that you don't have a hard time later on. A great story so don't stop writing."
Good job! :)
"(Ongoing, read til the end of chapter 6) The author did a really good job with this, especially since it has such an intense subject matter. The descriptions were very well done; the opening scene was riddled with suspense and tension that was well built up; the graphic imagery only further added to this effect. The author clearly has a good understanding of their characters and portrays them well. The changing POV was well done and helped give an insight into each of the characters individually, which is a very handy perspective to have. The bit of mythology about Yoruba was especially interesting, I'd love to see more of that in future chapters. All in all, a very interesting and intense start. Good job! :)"
A reason to live
"The story is not bad for a first attempt and the plot could have a lot of potential. However, the many technical mistakes didn't help me to immerse myself in the story. A free online editor could fix most of those, though. In addition, you keep changing the tense you use throughout the story, jumping from present to past simple, sometimes within the same paragraph. You should pick one and stick to it. Finally, the way you divide into chapters doesn't make much sense. Some have no continuity with the next one. The whole timeline is a bit off, at some point describing the same events through different povs that don't really add anything extra to the story. I hope these comments help! Keep up the hard work!"
