What is your opinion?
Potential
"Not a bad story, but it will definitely be an easier read once the grammar gets corrected. Good job! "
Just brilliant!
"You have such a way with words and a unique way of writing. It hooked me on the first chapter! Absolutely loving this book! Xx Belle 🌻"
Juicy Writing Style!
"First of all--you have a very, very, very lovely, and colorful writing style! IF I could rate it MORE than five stars I would! Your story has been a treat to read and to consume! I can tell that you put a lot of heart into putting this together--and that being said, please treat it to some additional editing. This does not hinder your story, or my like of it; it is one of the few stories on inkitt that I will be returning to! Your story is wonderful; your writing is gorgeous, and it will be all that more gorgeous with some fine-tuning. A couple simple things... "When you write dialogue, make sure to put your period within your quotes." Unless you are "quoting something" inside a sentence--or when a quote is part of a whole sentence instead of dialogue alone. I see that other reviewers already gave some fantastic advice, and some locations of where to submit your work for editing. Please keep writing--you are truly talented!"
Strong start!!
"First don’t stop writing. You have a lot of talent. Your story is engaging and brings the reading in. I highly recommend getting your stories edited. There are cost friendly ways to do this (like fiverr.com) or you can try to do it yourself. Other reviews have similar feedback so I won’t repeat, I’ll just say I agree. Improving the sentence and paragraph structure, using commas and better spacing will make this an easier read. Your plots have depth and are interesting. Don’t lose that because your editing makes it harder to read and consume. "
Enthralling!
"The way the author writes is magical. As soon as you start reading, you're in a different world. The author put so much thought into the way their magical world works, and I have so much respect for that. The writing is so smooth and flowing and elegant. The plot keeps you wondering what will happen next. Everything described can easily be imagined, making the book very enjoyable. Definitely a must-read!"
Loving this Book!
"I'm very intrigued and loving this story so far! The world the author has created really comes to life, and the mythology referenced is well researched. The prose flows nicely, the descriptions are poetic and vivid. It is a relaxing treat to read. The characters are three dimensional and make you empathize with them. I'm looking forward to finding out what happens next! This story had me hooked from the beginning, and I would definitely recommend it to anyone who loves erotic romance."
🔥🔥🔥
"Your book had me hooked up! I really like the plot and the way u describe scenarios. Keep going at the same pace as now. There's a lot of potential stored in here. Wishing you luck 🤞 "
Totally refreshing and riveting
"I seriously love this book. I really like the way the plot flows and the characters develop as well as their backgrounds. I really like Velvette's mom. Damn she is the future me 😂. But jokes aside, this book has the potential to reach to great limits if proper attention is paid to the punctuation and paragraph layouts. With that being said I am really looking forward to the next updates. Great job author. Keep it up! 🙌"
Wow!
"I love your story plot, the flow and your pacing. This story is just beautifully written. Good job!"
Nicely done
"It hooked me since the start, like the story structure, for a moment felt like I was reading a poem. I like how this is developing. Real nice. I would advise to separate dialogues. That's all. Edits can fix that so no issue. Keep up the good work would love to see more."
Captivated
"It was very intriguing; very catching to my eye. The characters were very descriptive and the plot was well organized. "
Hooked
"Amazing start of the story. I was hooked from the starting of the story. Your writing style is also great. Looking forward to the update. GREAT WORK 👏👏"
Delicious!
"Deliciously naughty with intense and interesting characters, this story is set in one of my favourite genres, and so far I haven't been disappointed. The story makes for a really good read, and you quickly get hooked to it. I can't wait to read more. Keep up the good work and please update soon!"
Bewitching😍
"So, I love the beginning of the story. Even the synopsis and prologue had me captivated. The writing style is great from what I've read so far. I'm a bit disappointed that only three chapters are published so far. But yeah, it's definitely a five star for me and I know I'll be eagerly waiting for each update! Good job!"
Undoubtedly appealing
"I've read countless books from countless genres but I've never come across that ties you to your seat to the very end. It's put you on edge, get you hooked and keep you yearning for more. I love the plot, I love your writing style. Your grammar is on point. It's sad what readers are missing. Your book can make for a very good read. Pls keep it up and update soon."
Beautifully narrated
"I loved the beginning of this story and how it set the theme for the next chapters. You’re writing style if beautiful and the narration is wonderfully done. I’ll probably like it more once the paragraphs styles and grammar has been fixed. But overall, keep up the good work!!"
Overall Coalition Review
"This is my overall review. There will be both a plot section and a technical section. Plot Stuff: The overall plot, I feel, is a slow-burn. That's not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, you want your readers to learn about the main characters in your story will slowly building up to the main meat of the story. That's good, but sometimes it can run a little too slow. It wasn't until the last two chapters (chapters 7 and 8 at the time of this post) that things were starting to actually pick up. I felt like I was reading a very long prologue and a first chapter. I think picking up the pace a bit and do a bit of rearranging would make this story flow better. Your story does have potential. I can see this having a good mixture of plot and sex scenes. But pacing and rearranging stuff would help this story a lot. Technical stuff: There were times things were inconsistent, such as the switching from third person to first person. There was random Spanish in Chapter 8, for which I don't understand why. On the mobile app, the paragraphs are fine, but on the computer, they're formatted in a clunky way. This could use a massive technical edit. If all of this was written on a phone, which it seemed like it was, then go on your computer and look over the large errors. After that, once you're officially done writing the plot, then look into hiring an editor or use ProWriterAid. Overall, this is clearly a first draft. But this story, and the series, means a lot to you, then don't give up on it. Like I said, I can see this having great potential. You do have something there. Just focus on writing your story first. Get that done. That's more important than worrying and overthinking everything while you're writing this story."
Excited for more
"This is such a promising story! I absolutely love the direction you're taking and I only have a few recommendations/pieces of advice. One being that your grammar is slightly off, you tend to switch tenses and some things I had to re-read. It's enough to understand your plot however with even some minor editing, you could make your writing flow perfectly. (If you need help with this, email me and we can work something out) Second, make sure that you give credit to the people who originally stated the quotes you have at the start of your chapters! Very, very important that you do this, even if they are your own words. Third, the way you introduce numerous characters at once may be confusing for some readers. I recommend a slower approach, or even leaving the list of characters you had at one point near the beginning of your story (first page perhaps?) Overall, I was hooked and I'm so so excited to read more from you. Some of the words you use and the things you describe are surprisingly original :) Keep going with this girly, with the right amount of work, you could achieve amazing things."
Addicted to Velvette
"You have very detailed descriptions that provide a clear picture of settings, characters, and props. I don't know if you intended to make it in the poetic formatting of separating every sentence but it does make it a little harder to read. When you are describing one object with many words you need to use commas, I noticed this in the first chapter. Good flow, pacing and length of chapters. The concept/plot is interesting. To make the dialogue more clear you may want to separate it from the other text and paragraphs. Are the italics in chapter 3 supposed to represent past tense or actual thoughts in his head? It's all in one perspective so I'm just a little confused by their use. Keep up the good writing."
Well Written
"I'll be honest, romance that's more erotic isn't my thing. With that being said, the author still did an amazing job at capturing me with the first line of the first chapter. I also thought the description in the book was well written and would be an enjoyable read for anyone who does like this type of romance. Something else I noticed is the poetic structure of the book. I've never read a book written that way and it makes the story unique. Great job!"
